No matter how much we live our lives with integrity, we are going to take hits. No matter how self-actualized we are, and how many tools we have to get us back to center, we still need to slog through pain from time to time. It’s part of life here. We can’t avoid it. So I’ve put together a process for navigating pain. I hope you find it helpful.
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While we understand that our access to power and transformation comes from truly loving ourselves and having healthy boundaries, taking a stand for our right to exist and to co-create with all of life will not in and of itself eliminate life’s painful experiences, or quickly sweep away the pain that we must then process, as a result. Here are some suggestions for getting through the intense emotional pain that will, from time to time, invite itself into our lives for an often undetermined stay:
• Stand before the pain; see it and feel it without resistance and create a container that is deeper and wider than the pain itself so that you encompass it. From here, embrace it, pulling it deeply into yourself. Allow yourself to fully experience the pain.
• Acknowledge the pain as an entity separate from yourself which also has a vital, energetic existence with its own purpose and its own evolutionary process.
• Do not judge the pain; have compassion for it, if you can. If you can, express love to it.
• Do not judge yourself for having the experience of deep, and seemingly endless, pain.
• Understand that pain has a purpose higher than itself, and than your self.
• Expect a breakthrough of insights as a result of allowing intimacy with the pain.
• Believe that Divine Grace is a big enough container to hold all of you and your pain.
• Open to the creative possibilities that can be generated from deep disappointment.
• Believe that life is on your side; that you are loved by all of creation; from here, begin to gently anchor yourself into a sense of a bright and happy future.
You are encouraged to develop
• a self big enough to contain the pain; try stretching your personal energy body (field) to the parameters of the room you’re in, and even outside into the world as much as you are comfortable. Your field will stretch as far as you command it to. There are no limits here.
• a profound connection to the Source Mother/Father/God that birthed you; you can begin with prayer. Talk to God/ Tao/ Highest Source. Open the line of communication with audible conversation. This is easier than quieting the mind.
• a sense of your own Divinity.
• a sense of how expansive and big you really are inside the context of your past, present and future.
• a deeper connection to all of life.
• your unique place in the web of life.
• a deepening sense of the fragility, tenderness, and profound beauty of life.
• a connection to the remarkable capacity of life to remake itself, and to transform any experience into something more/ higher.
• a capacity to see pain as the spice among the many ingredients of which the delicious soup of your life is made.
• your capacity to see the fruits that can be harvested from the pain.
• the skills and capacities that will keep your life aligned with your North Star (that is, your highest, overarching intention for love and service).
• the capacity to be still, and to be silent.
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It is also important to talk to your trusted friends. They see you and love you, and they will witness your pain with you.
You might consider engaging a professional counselor, therapist or coach.
Know that devas, elementals and spirit guides are available to you; they are energy masters and can transmute energy. Give them permission to assist your transmutation with their particular expertise. You can talk out loud to them, letting them know you appreciate them. Tell them of your troubles, and ask them to help you, using their unique resources. From here, listen to your intuition, and watch for signs and messages. These come from everywhere, and from unexpected sources.
Soul retrieval can return those pieces of you that have fragmented off or been stolen. If you do not know how to journey, a Shaman can do this for you. In fact, I recommend this.
Energy work (chi gong, Reiki, massage, etc.) can break the stagnation of stuck energy; movement and flow will restore happiness.
Focus on deliberately creating happy experiences – spending time with those who see you and love you; doing things that bring you joy, such as your personal forms of creative expression, your fun activities, and your service to others.
Repeat to yourself this healing HO’OPONOPONO mantra:
I’m sorry, [your name]
Please forgive me
I love you
I’m sorry, [the name of another person, others, or situation]
Please forgive me
I love you
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