HOLDING SPACE WITH THE EXPANDED HEART

When you expand your heart beyond its normal boundaries you are able to incorporate the needs, concerns and even wounds of another, or an entire group of others. How can you do this without also afflicting yourself with the wounds that you have taken into the expanded space of your heart? To begin, you must understand that the purpose of creating an area of expansion around your heart is not to heal wounds that do not belong to you. When you expand your heart and offer that space to others, what you are doing is creating a container where others can rest safely, knowing that here they will not meet with judgments or resistance. In this place, all the anguish associated with what they have done to others or what others have done to them is allowed to be and to expand, and to express in all its magnificent agony as it releases, evolving to a new vibratory state or form. This is how holding space assists others to heal themselves.

You might ask how it is that the heart is able to 1) expand, and 2) bring others into that expansion. We are not speaking here of the physical heart per se, although this is indeed the locus from which the expansion moves outward. As you know, all form and the components that comprise form are vitally alive as dancing energy imbued with the life force of Creation. At its source, form is pure potential, and so has the capacity to be directed by intention. When you direct your intention at pure potential, suffusing its formless state with the content of your imagination, will, and desire, you have caused a shift in its essential energy. You have now created an expansion into a specific identity that displays the attributes of your original intention. Of course, it takes practice and belief to truly achieve the results you seek. The point of this discussion is to illustrate that, with intention alone, you can expand the energy of your heart infinitely.

In the same way, you can direct this expanded energy to embrace those who seek solace and acceptance, bringing them in close to your own heart. In the meantime, your heart has opened itself to love so that you and everyone you hold space for are directly connected to Source. This is how you can maintain a holding space or container for others without debilitating or damaging yourself. It is not actually you doing the holding; it is Spirit in its aspect as Love. You have only volunteered to be the facilitator or link using your heart as the mechanism which connects you, and everyone you hold, to Source.

Offering your heart space to others has tremendous benefits not just for them, but especially for you. Consider the analogy of volunteering at a soup kitchen. You have direct access to all the ingredients that will make a substantial meal for the hungry: spices, vegetables, grains and proteins. As you chop and sauté, blending and cooking various foods into sauces and stews, it is your responsibility as chef to sample portions of your meal as it progresses through its stages to completion. In this way, your service for the nurture of others has also nurtured you.

The call to be of service comes first from service to self, a corollary of love of self. You cannot offer genuine service to others without first having offered it to yourself. It is imperative that you learn to hold space for yourself, for without having experienced deep self-love, your efforts on behalf of others – even those with the best of intentions – will be incomplete, similar to a soup that could have used more sautéed onions and salt. This is because you did not know enough to know how to take a soup from bland and mediocre to great. However, make note of this: as you surrender into your desire to be of service, you also open yourself to improving the quality of that service, and over time you will develop mastery of the forms that call to you. This is because you have expanded your capacity to understand firsthand what makes them delicious, and so you can deliver them from a solidly anchored holding space.


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WHAT IS PAST LIFE REGRESSION?

Looking back

Looking back

I have been drawn to understand who I am through the journey of my own soul. I still vividly recall standing in front of a mirror when I was four and the awareness that took me by surprise that the little girl reflected there was a mere aspect of a much larger self. That was the beginning of my personal journey to uncover the mysteries that were hinted at in the mirror. As a result, I pursued formal and informal studies and systems which I hoped would give me information on who I was, what I was about and for, and how that person was connected to everything and everyone else. This was no small journey as you can imagine, and has ever been the underlying thread and motivation of my life, regardless of what I’ve needed to do to keep body and soul together, and has also influenced how I’ve conducted my relationships and the life choices I’ve made – particularly as I’ve grown older and gained greater insight.

Speaking as someone who has certified in Regression Therapy, I will begin with observing that the function of Past Life Regression (PLR) isn’t to find out if you were famous back when. Additionally, the role of the regressionist is not to tell you who you were. The regressionee does that, for himself or herself. The regressionist may or may not be a decent psychic, but feeding information to the regressionee about who they were is a completely different process and modality than PLR, and in my opinion, has NO place in it. Instead, the regressionist holds the space by creating a container of emotional and psychic safety, and then by guiding the regressionee’s journey with a meditation or induction and appropriately focused questions. The journey belongs to the person experiencing the PLR – no one else. The regressionist’s only motive and interest should be to provide the support and conditions for someone to be able to enter into past life recall. Most of the time regression journeys are sought to obtain additional insight and information about issues that are currently affecting the person. Students of the soul’s journey understand that our current incarnations often carry over themes from past lives that are seeking clarity and resolution, and that may require us to do more work in a certain area.

PLR allows a person to relax into their deeper self, which allows the life themes they are currently dealing with an opportunity to arise to conscious awareness, and as a result, to take on clarity. It assists us with getting in touch with what’s going on for us now, for what is asking for our attention. If those themes come through in a story about a life that may not be completely accurate in every detail, it doesn’t matter. The details don’t matter. Not that you would necessarily know if you were making it up, but that’s not the point. What is important is the emotional truth that we experience – the insights we receive about self. We inevitably get a sense of the bigger picture that we are always living from, and this helps to contextualize things for us – no small boon. If these insights come to us in the form of a myth or allegory or fairy tale, then we can consider ourselves blessed. In my experience, Spirit often speaks to us in symbols rather than literal pictures, as symbols are far richer in what they can convey, and are actually more in concert with our multi-dimensional makeup. The insights we receive via a PLR can help validate our taking a course of action that is appropriate for us now. Of course, in many, many cases, there is a strong sense that the memories are real, and we want to honor this as well.

Our historical trajectory is the story of the development of our soul, and taking the time to explore this history offers us tremendous opportunities to embrace and refine our life tasks for the current incarnation, and to get a sense of our broader overarching mission as the unique sparks of Tao that we are. This mission includes not just who we are individually, but who we are in the far larger context of everyone and everything else. Ultimately, these cannot be separated. Our actions and interactions are our contributions, for good or ill, to the course and development of humanity and I also believe, affect as well the course and development of other dimensional and non-dimensional worlds. For me, the aphorism that we are all in this together has a vastly encompassing reach.

In sum, I believe that the purpose and function of PLR has to do with attaining clarity about our life path through the insights and emotional truths we receive inside a journey, and from this, we are encouraged to take responsibility for not just the course of our lives, but for the universal impact that our choices and actions have on the flourishing of life and consciousness everywhere.


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THE LIVES OF GOOD AND BEAUTIFUL SOULS

beautiful souls
The lives of good and beautiful souls, that is, those who strive daily for authenticity, accountability and integrity, are nevertheless peppered with disappointment and loss. To have a deeply developed capacity to integrate a broad spectrum of experience does not mean, however, that we won’t feel tremendous pain when our good intentions and open hearts are met with scathing and ridicule. But because we understand that all is not as it seems, and that we are always inside of the much larger context of our higher selves, our resources are great.

Though this is a plane of illusion, we know that the illusion has impact, and that its power is in its ability to create separation between persons, tribes, and nations. Its tools are the tools of the false ego and its false beliefs which would have us give homage to the hierarchies of better than, smarter than, more beautiful than, richer than, and therefore, more deserving than, those who are “lesser” in these and other categories. Once we give our allegiance to separation, we are forced into operating from the belief that there is only so much of – you name it – to go around. Therefore, we cannot ever truly let our guard down. We cannot ever truly trust in life. Coming from a place of scarcity, it will be difficult to see that we have a purpose for being here, and a unique path to follow. The most debilitating separation that illusion creates is its capacity to separate us from our own souls.

Despite the pain that living life with an open heart can often engender, we have no choice if we are to actively remain on a consciously evolving path, fully expressing who we are as embodied souls. We do not want to live from a place of limitation, believing that we are only our bodies, our relationships, or our current life situation. There is much terror in holding a lens that equates what seems to be to what is, and so we can have compassion for those who cannot see beyond it. It has been said that when we reach the end of our mind’s capacity to strategize our way out of a challenge, this is a prime opportunity to remember innocent curiosity and expect miracles. From nothing, everything comes.

To take radical responsibility for our own continuing transformation and healing, we must have compassion for those who choose to act from the weakest parts of themselves, and for the pain they cause by doing so. We must have compassion for those who are perpetually stuck in dynamics which obstruct their ability to receive. As you know, we can only take responsibility for our own emotional responses and physical actions; there is nothing we can do to convince a closed heart to accept our desire for right relationship. There is nothing we can do about the choices other people make, but surrendering to the highest good will make us more spiritually powerful. Continue to honor who you are and why you are here so that all the special light you carry radiates love, joy, and compassion. These are the lives of good and beautiful souls.


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IMMIGRANT SOULS

Each of us began our immigration from reaches unknown, and places only vaguely remembered at best. Although we may not remember the specifics of our origins, those beginnings nevertheless follow us in our dreams and in our imagination, sometimes haunting us in the way of a forgotten melody, sometimes spurring us to reach the tantalizing wilds on the other side of the horizon.

Just as the pulse of our first heartbeat continues to thrum its way through each of our incarnations, our beginnings are never separate from us. That long-ago first coming-into-consciousness propelled us unerringly forward into exploration of myriad unknowns – beautiful and ugly, ecstatic and painful – all of which have seen to it that we will ultimately give a shape and a name to our souls.

What’s the next step? Where do we go from here, and who do we need to be in order to get there?

These questions are a constant for me – they have no end; only beginnings. As soon as I’ve rounded the corner of what was once teasingly distant and mysterious, the questions return afresh. Irrespective of what I’ve uncovered and resolved to conquer, there will always be unknown territory to explore – infinite, ever-revolving facets of self, soul, and consciousness. The universe is infinitely available and willing to share its secrets and insights as long as I am willing to take the journey – despite the terrors that are inherent to it. And the truth is, I won’t have all the equipment I need at the outset – because I can’t know what’s ahead. It is only in experiencing the terrors of the unknown that I can find and develop the resources to face them down. I did, after all, show up with the inbuilt capacity of infinite possibility.

The blueprint for our lives is not set in stone, and we are encouraged to re-create our irrepressible divinity as we go. This is your most basic birthright and talent: the capacity to evolve and adapt as you wish, and as you need.


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BEING WITH WHAT IS

Will the weather ever change?

Will the weather ever change?

The steps we take to recover from disappointment, shock and loss have everything to do with the meaning we make from those experiences. If we believe that we are powerless, that we are victims, and that life is against us, we will not recover. If we believe that our options for choice and personal happiness have come and gone, and that what remains ahead are crumbs, we will not recover. Oh, we may eventually get out of bed, but there is a world of difference between resignation and a life that is filled with the resplendence of joy and the invigoration that comes with having something to look forward to.

How do you go from resignation to passion? You have to have something to live for. You have to believe that there is something worth living for. You must be drawn to a vision that both contains and expresses your highest calling. Beyond that, you believe that you are the creator of your life, and that the larger force and field itself is personally seeking your partnership for co-creative endeavors that are dreams still in the making, and that need your assistance to manifest.

But, you say, I don’t have anything to live for. I don’t have anything to look forward to. I’ve explored my interests and taken them as far as I can, given current circumstances and resources. I’ve looked around, and I really don’t see anything that’s that compelling anymore. Been there, done that. All right, then. You have. Now it’s time to take a new tack and approach your situation differently. But first, you need to find your power so that you can revive your passion.

Let us begin here: from where you sit, what would you say you have too much of? What do you have too little of? What would you enjoy having more of? What would you like to have less of, or be rid of altogether?

What skills and capacities do you need to cultivate in order to have more of what you desire? What disciplines will you need to exercise in order to eliminate excess?

In the process of identifying those areas which need your attention you will begin find your lost power. As you look more closely at what you need to let go of and what you need to bring in, you will develop an understanding of those things that disempower you and those that empower you. As you feel yourself empowered, you will also feel passion. You will feel the force of your passion as it compels you to embrace your life force. Whatever your passion, it will lead you back to yourself. When you have passion you can feel the creative impulses that are bursting to express through you. You have now found your fire, your desire, and your power.

Now, it is possible that you no longer have much of a charge about pursuing anything. The fire that you once experienced burned out long ago. As you say, you’ve been there and done that, meaning you believe you have made the effort to explore your appropriate path and then applied your resources to it. If the results were less than stellar, that is, disappointing, then it is likely you have given up and these days spend most of your time in resignation and some degree of inertia. And so, while you are managing to pay the rent and feed yourself and your pets, there is not much about existence itself that infuses you with excitement and possibility.

So how do you make the leap from a lack of desire to engage to active participation? Letting go of the paths not taken and the roads not fully traveled, begin here: live each day as if it were your calling*. Without excessive attention to detail and over-thinking, choose those activities that seem the most right or important*. And instead of demanding immediate results, revel in the quietly unfolding intrigue of each moment. Take small steps, one at a time. There is no need to offer up arguments or resistance; simply do each step as an improv. You do not need to know the next step or the next action – by responding to the choices that call to you, to those impulses that seek expression – by degrees both subtle and sudden your life plan and purpose will reveal itself.

By listening to the call of your intuitive knowing, you will become more adept at discerning the next right action. You do not need to wait for inspiration per se. Simply take actions that reflect best what you know to be true for yourself, and you will again be on course as you remember your passion, which will re-connect you to your path.


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Copyright © 2011-Current | Gloria Constantin | All Rights Reserved

* Acknowledgements: Shepherd Hoodwin

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NO LONGER ON THE PERIPHERY

At the Periphery

At the Periphery

It seemed I dozed on the periphery for a long time, observing the coming and going of weather, of the seasonal hum of insects and flowers and the blooming and withering of all things; of all things, that is, that I could see and had the capacity to comprehend.

There was time when I believed that I had very little say about my life. There was a time when I believed I had no authority to confront not just the challenges, but the horrific experiences I endured as a child. As a child I believed that’s just the way things were; that’s just how life is. Later, as the daughter of impoverished immigrants who did not speak English as their first language, I continued to find numerous reasons to support my impression that I was a victim of circumstances, and that my lot in life was destined to be one of severe limitation. As children we are dependent; we have not come into ourselves, and we do not possess the same powers of self-awareness, intellect, and ferocity that we do as adults, so it is easy to make meaning about what life is, and to hold on to that meaning because it made so much sense at the time. I did, however, come in with an insatiable curiosity to understand both etiology and causation, and it was this deep need to KNOW how everything comes together that was compelling enough to keep me going where I might have otherwise given up. This is not to say that I do not, from time to time, retreat. Inevitably, something always kicks my ass and forces me to get up off the ground.

I was compelled to engage. After all, I had to eat to live. I had to dress for warmth and protection. I had to go to school and interact (to some greater or lesser extent) with the other children. At night, I entered the realm of dreams and created relationships and strange connections with the inhabitants of other worlds and dimensions. Bit by bit, all my experiences, those from the vantage of quiet observation and those from intentional participation, merged and integrated and offered me perspective, a handle I could grab, a kind of anchor I could attach myself to. By simply being – whether here or in other less tangible locations – I was led inevitably to carve out a consciousness unique to me.

And that unique perspective, that consciousness, this idiosyncratic way I have of perceiving and holding experience and then of communicating it back, is what led me to exactly where I am. Because I chose to stay alert and aware – kicking and screaming some of the time to be sure – no moment I spent sleeping or awake has been wasted. The sum cumulative of all I have gathered, and all that has blasted itself against me, is what I bring to this moment. It is the same for all of us. These are the things that give us shape and form and that bring us to who we are.

Over time I awoke to the realization that I am an integral, inseparable part of All That Is, and that the All That Is is the most powerful and dignified, the most ultimately infinitely creative and loving force that holds all possibility, and even if I possess just one drop of that power, just one morpheme of that capacity, nothing can stop me from becoming. For I am Tao’s pioneer, Its very own reconnaissance agent.

And so how can I not see myself as the Source of my experience? The more I accept full responsibility for being the creator of my own life, the more I download my true inheritance. The more I can flow with what is, with what happens, not just deflecting blows but dancing with them, the more I can step into my capacity to create my life. Even though there are many events that truly appear to be the result of other people’s choices, it is most empowering to be willing to be wholeheartedly accountable for all of it. By accepting unconditional responsibility for everything that has ever happened to us, we become the master of our own lives.

Now it is time to step into who I am, to open to fully embracing the next level of beingness that life wishes to express through me, and to take it on with everything I’ve got. I have only a glimmer of what I am about to embark on, but I am filled with desire to pursue this journey, for I know that in this process, all of who I came here to be will have the opportunity to be unleashed. Welcome the unprecedented for my life.


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THE ZONE OF INCARNATION

At the still point of the turning world we are still,
spinning.

Shooting threads of light, finer than rainbow gossamer,
diaphanous and delicate beyond measure,
yet stronger than this life we know–
by far.
And these threads are a matrix of interwoven endless
tapestries

that breathe and move and dance,

twining themselves through and beyond
universes beyond our imaginings.

But there is so much more that we cannot begin to grasp.
There are worlds beyond our knowing.

There are mysteries
beyond our ability to experience.

And if we were to experience those mysteries,
we could not,
as we currently are,
grasp them.

It is important to live in the here and now,
in the moment.

For it is in the moment that infinity speaks,
and we hear our own god voices.

In the cracks and interstices of no past, no present,
and no future,

we come to know ourselves.

Coming into the zone of time, we then forget.

We are defined, described, prescribed and re-scribed as we
make our way through the palpable form of living days.

We breathe the dust.
We are the earth.

We lose our trust in things eternal
mesmerized into believing
this is what we are,
this is all that is.

Even so –
we are shaped and formed into palpable,
dimensional existence. And then,
waves and vectors sweep our way, casting us out, drawing us in.

Probabilities come and go.

The pending sometimes never arrives.

We are ordered from chaos,
made up in part by
numerology,
psychology,
astrology,
biology,
design,
soul age,
essence role,
overleaves,
and so on,
and so on.

Each of these bring us to our lessons; they give us our unique
perspectives and our talents.

These energies humble us, shake us up, and wake us up.
We can remember who we are because of them.

But: WE ARE NOT THEM.

They are the props in our personal play.
They cast us in a special role;
one we’ve longed to play, one we’ve died again and again to play,
so that we could re-unite with our ultimate selves.

But they are only our lessons, our path for the now, and our glory for
and through

the Zone of Incarnation.


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INDELIBLE MARKERS

At the risk of sounding like a complete heretic of the prevailing cultural paradigm (the one that says you aren’t somebody unless you look like this and have measurable status, money, and power and have achieved so much and so many laud you and confetti you with accolades and seek your mentorship and particular brand of wisdom and counsel and wish to step into your path, if not your shoes), let me share with you some of the observations and explorations I have made concerning life purpose – or – a life with purpose.

First and foremost, this is a place, a plane (dimensionally speaking) of limitation. L I M I T A T I O N. Because things are palpable here, and because actions have consequences, and choice always has results, the tendency for consciousness-in-a-body is to seek the most supportive ways of receiving positive recognition, safety and security. And because things are palpable here, it is easy to be seduced by the illusion that only palpable things matter. That is, what can be materially touched, tasted, felt, (and worn and displayed), is what matters, and what will save us.

Being physical can be wonderful if our physical needs are met – when we do not have to concern ourselves with having plenty of money, all the education we wish, the best place to live, the best job to have, the most compelling relationships and connections and vacations…it is most often when our needs are NOT met that we are thrown into a process of self-review and self-rebuke, wondering how it is that we do not yet have enough of any of these things to support us so that we can participate dynamically in the external world. And yet, it is this fork in the road, where we are by circumstances forced to pause, that leads to tremendous potential for inner wealth.

Some say the world is incontrovertibly made up of winners and losers. And if you’re a loser, well…make better choices next time, honey. (And if you want to get right down to it, why did you pick that weak body? Did you think you’d get more sympathy that way, or maybe just get out of some of the really hard work the rest of us have had to put in to get where we are, or WHAT?) What WERE you thinking? Well, good luck to you. Or better luck next time, but I have a life to live, a yacht to sail, and some VIPs to gladhand. Well, have a good one. Get some beauty rest or treatments. Or something!

Wait a minute. Are you saying that I have to earn my worthiness or right to be here, and that the only way to do this is to go to the same schools, wear the same clothes, frame the same diplomas, and have exquisite cash flow? Are you saying that if I don’t have the same physical prowess or constitution or material support that I might as well leave now and hope for a better start later?

If this is the truth that many are working with, then perhaps that is their personal truth. But it is not mine. I have a different take on things. The life I have lived veers from the mainstream because my life task and soul agenda have led me on an exploration of a lesser traveled path, yet I am far from alone in this.

Everyone has limitations. These may be material, these may be the expectations of others, and these may be pronounced pressure from family and other influential beings to carve out a certain life. It is just that the limitations differ, and they can differ so vastly as to create confusion and cause real angst-driven issues of viability, survivability, and worthiness so that we are compelled to either stand up or fall down.

What is apparent via the givenness of things is not necessarily what is. What is – is your experience of life. How you live it, what you make of it. THIS IS YOUR LIFE. And how you interpret your life and the actions you take as a result, are the gifts, the insights and the meanings that you make for yourself and for others.

While we are connected, we are also diverse. We are none of us the same. We are deeply unique and individual as souls, and what we have to offer is unique. Not everyone came here to get an MBA or PhD or become an Olympian athlete. Not everyone came here to invest in real estate or to facilitate corporate mergers or lead tours in Europe. Not everyone can sing opera. Not everyone is an artist. Not everyone expresses fluently. Not everyone gets, or seeks, attention. Some of are gardeners. Some of us save cats. Some of us just live quiet lives and lend a hand when we can. But all of us are invited – no, compelled – to engage the journey of our soul. Some of us will take that to places far and astonishing and deep. And the treasures that we find there are the treasures that will leave an indelible marker for all.


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HOW CAN I FIND MY SOUL’S PURPOSE?

Heaven will let me know!

Heaven will let me know!

I lived with this question for years, but I didn’t know I was actually asking it. Later, in my studies of transformational tools and principles, I was told that “Something unique wants to express itself through you – something that only you can give birth to.”  I thought this was, at best, a nice sentiment. It was very egalitarian as it left no one out, and it even made everyone special.  But I had also heard the phrase often enough, expressed somewhat less loftily: You are special. There is no one like you. By the time I heard it again I was already seriously inured to it, and perhaps even a bit cynical.  Of course we’re unique, but who isn’t? And that’s where, for me, the whole concept of personal uniqueness distilled itself down into not having any significant meaning.

So, for quite a while I succumbed to the enervating perception that uniqueness in and of itself is not unique, that it contributes nothing. Since we are all uniquely distinguished from each other, what’s the big deal? You’re tall; I’m short. You’re muscular; I lack definition. You have red hair; I have black hair. Your eyes are green, and mine are brown. You excel in tennis, but I can sing. You’re great at math and I write more clearly than you. What’s to get excited about? Now, if you’re handy, I’m feeling some excitement. But I digress.

At some point it occurred to me that I was focused in the wrong direction, or rather, on the wrong concept, and that I was being rather obstinately myopic about that concept.  I decided to challenge my habitual perception of uniqueness as being no better than just another pretty face by advocating against my original stance that uniqueness is a boringly common attribute with no benefits.  In a departure from my earlier pronounced state of jadedness, I asked: What exactly is it that is unique to each of us? In no time, a realization asserted itself with incontrovertible clarity: It is our inner uniqueness that identifies our soul’s longing and leads us to our soul’s purpose. The longings that are unique and specific to us show us what paths we should be taking, and who we can become. So what makes us unique? What makes us who are we?

Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV. 4.5 tells us that it is our deep, driving desire.

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.

This is the beginning of knowing your soul’s purpose: identifying your deeper truths via your deep desires, and opening to them.  Therein lies our uniqueness, and our destiny. In our desires.  In what we are passionate about. What comes of following our desires? Everything.  When our actions are based in authentically following our very own unique deep desires, we will be naturally compelled to seek out those things that are appropriate for us. And there is an additional boon in that what is appropriate for us also nourishes us. Likewise, when we are are acting from our unique desires, we will attract what we need.  But the best thing of all is – by following our soul’s longing, we will inevitably express our soul’s purpose, and become who we are meant to be.

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PRAYER FOR HEALING

Innocence

Innocence

Father Mother God, Creator of all beings

Unparalleled Lover from Whom emanates boundless capacity for love,

for eternal care;

from Whom issues all balms to soothe and heal all wounds,

Who has known and suffered through us and with us all wounds that are possible –

that have ever been –

and Who has received these many hurts into His-Her Heart, speaking peace to them

holding them

caressing them

acknowledging them

accepting them

feeling their pain with them

suffering the deepest of nameless agonies with them.

Father Mother God, Creator of all beings, release us to our deeper truths, and to our highest, most majestic expression of all that is good, and right, and beautiful.

In the name of Father Mother God, we pray that all that is wounded is healed, now and forever.

Amen.


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HOW TO NAVIGATE THE PAIN OF DEEP DISAPPOINTMENT, LOSS AND BETRAYAL

lonely shore

No matter how much we live our lives with integrity, we are going to take hits. No matter how self-actualized we are, and how many tools we have to get us back to center, we still need to slog through pain from time to time. It’s part of life here. We can’t avoid it. So I’ve put together a process for navigating pain. I hope you find it helpful.

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While we understand that our access to power and transformation comes from truly loving ourselves and having healthy boundaries, taking a stand for our right to exist and to co-create with all of life will not in and of itself eliminate life’s painful experiences, or quickly sweep away the pain that we must then process, as a result. Here are some suggestions for getting through the intense emotional pain that will, from time to time, invite itself into our lives for an often undetermined stay:

• Stand before the pain; see it and feel it without resistance and create a container that is deeper and wider than the pain itself so that you encompass it. From here, embrace it, pulling it deeply into yourself. Allow yourself to fully experience the pain.

• Acknowledge the pain as an entity separate from yourself which also has a vital, energetic existence with its own purpose and its own evolutionary process.

• Do not judge the pain; have compassion for it, if you can. If you can, express love to it.

• Do not judge yourself for having the experience of deep, and seemingly endless, pain.

• Understand that pain has a purpose higher than itself, and than your self.

• Expect a breakthrough of insights as a result of allowing intimacy with the pain.

• Believe that Divine Grace is a big enough container to hold all of you and your pain.

• Open to the creative possibilities that can be generated from deep disappointment.

• Believe that life is on your side; that you are loved by all of creation; from here, begin to gently anchor yourself into a sense of a bright and happy future.

You are encouraged to develop

• a self big enough to contain the pain; try stretching your personal energy body (field) to the parameters of the room you’re in, and even outside into the world as much as you are comfortable. Your field will stretch as far as you command it to. There are no limits here.

• a profound connection to the Source Mother/Father/God that birthed you; you can begin with prayer. Talk to God/ Tao/ Highest Source. Open the line of communication with audible conversation. This is easier than quieting the mind.

• a sense of your own Divinity.

• a sense of how expansive and big you really are inside the context of your past, present and future.

• a deeper connection to all of life.

• your unique place in the web of life.

• a deepening sense of the fragility, tenderness, and profound beauty of life.

• a connection to the remarkable capacity of life to remake itself, and to transform any experience into something more/ higher.

• a capacity to see pain as the spice among the many ingredients of which the delicious soup of your life is made.

• your capacity to see the fruits that can be harvested from the pain.

• the skills and capacities that will keep your life aligned with your North Star (that is, your highest, overarching intention for love and service).

• the capacity to be still, and to be silent.

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It is also important to talk to your trusted friends. They see you and love you, and they will witness your pain with you.

You might consider engaging a professional counselor, therapist or coach.

Know that devas, elementals and spirit guides are available to you; they are energy masters and can transmute energy. Give them permission to assist your transmutation with their particular expertise. You can talk out loud to them, letting them know you appreciate them. Tell them of your troubles, and ask them to help you, using their unique resources. From here, listen to your intuition, and watch for signs and messages. These come from everywhere, and from unexpected sources.

Soul retrieval can return those pieces of you that have fragmented off or been stolen. If you do not know how to journey, a Shaman can do this for you. In fact, I recommend this.

Energy work (chi gong, Reiki, massage, etc.) can break the stagnation of stuck energy; movement and flow will restore happiness.

Focus on deliberately creating happy experiences – spending time with those who see you and love you; doing things that bring you joy, such as your personal forms of creative expression, your fun activities, and your service to others.

Repeat to yourself this healing HO’OPONOPONO mantra:

I’m sorry, [your name] Please forgive me
Thank you
I love you

AND

I’m sorry, [the name of another person, others, or situation] Please forgive me
Thank you
I love you


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Posted in Transformation | Tagged , , , , , , , | 38 Comments