MY SECOND SATURN RETURN: A TALE OF LOSS, RESILIENCE, AND JUST GOING WITH IT
On my second Saturn return I was laid off from my job as a paralegal and blindsided by my boyfriend’s unexpected breakup with me (because he was going to Ireland and needed to be free). The loss of my job and the end of my relationship caused me considerable anguish, but this was not the first time I had faced challenging circumstances without immediate or foreseeable resolution.
THE SECOND SATURN RETURN AS A SCIENCE FICTION TALE
In the year 2349 humanity had reached the pinnacle of technological advancement. Colonies were established on every planet in the solar system, and exploration of the galaxy was well underway. It was a time of unprecedented progress, but there was still much that remained a mystery. One such mystery was the second Saturn return.
The life cycle phenomenon that is the Uranus Opposition occurs at age 42 – 44, when transit Uranus is opposite the natal placement of Uranus. Uranus is the planet of freedom, and when it is activated in the chart, it shakes up the status quo to bring in needed changes. This transit heralds a time of breaking free of limitations because you feel deeply compelled to change your life.
QUANTUM ASTROLOGY: THE CONNECTION BETWEEN THE COSMOS AND HUMAN CONSCIOUSNESS
Quantum Astrology is a field of study that combines the principles of quantum physics and astrology to explore the connection between the cosmos and human consciousness, and to create a more holistic understanding of the universe and our place within it.
Quantum physics, which deals with the behavior of particles on a subatomic level, tells us that the universe is made up of tiny particles called quanta that exist in a state of constant flux. These particles are connected in ways that cannot be fully explained by classical physics, and their behavior is often described as “quantum entanglement.” Quantum entanglement suggests that we are immersed in a vast network of energy and information.
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE ASTROLOGY CHART AND THE HUMAN DESIGN CHART
The astrological birth chart and the Human Design chart are both created from the placement in these charts of the planets’ positions at the moment of your birth. The Human Design bodygraph would be completely empty without planets!
The astrology chart and the Human Design chart are systems that offer profound insight and information through their unique architecture and language. Note that each system gives interpretations for individual birth charts as well as events, mundane or personal.
Human Design teaches us how to use our energy for the things that are correct for us and to avoid those things that are not. Because we are taught to make decisions with our mind, we bypass the body’s unique intelligence. It is true that the mind can ponder many interesting and inspiring ideas and we can enjoy reflecting on them. This is actually one of the correct uses of the mind. Our minds, however, are not designed to know what is correct for us. In Human Design, mindfulness is not about the mind.
Understanding how you are ‘wired’ is the beginning of self-knowledge. We discover how we are wired by witnessing what we instinctively move towards. We naturally move towards what fascinates us, towards what we find interesting and exciting. We may or may not stay with what we find interesting, but this is neither here nor there. The point is to get to know what is interesting to you and to stay with that until you no longer find it interesting.
Purpose is found in your experiences of the moment, in expression as well action, and it is not just one thing. Purpose is not defined as an end-goal or a product launch. Your understanding of purpose, and your purpose specifically, evolves over the course of your life as you expand in self-awareness.
HOW CAN I FEEL MORE AT EASE IN THE WORLD?
Before we can feel at ease with the world we need to feel at ease with ourselves. Being at ease with self involves feeling physically well, emotionally balanced, and intellectually engaged. Being at ease with self involves accepting oneself as is. Being at ease with self means truly caring for who we are. It means we love ourselves, always, and no matter what!
Astrologers love to look at the charts of significant moments to see what the planets were up to (e.g., sign placements, conjunctions to angles, velocities, and more), and how they were interacting with each other. Each moment is filled with information and effect, yet not all moments are explosive. Most are ordinary.
When we look at the charts of collective events, like those of earthquakes, invasions, or historical decisions, we sometimes wonder if it was that particular configuration of planets that caused something to happen, if perhaps the event was created from a cumulative buildup of energies that made a particular moment noteworthy and inevitable.
SUMMER SOLSTICE 2022 THROUGH THE LENS OF HUMAN DESIGN AND ASTROLOGY: A TIME OF CHANGE AND CHOICE
Every chart is a picture of a moment in time. Any part of a Human Design or astrology chart can be expressed beneficially or detrimentally. The parts are the mechanics; the possibilities of how these are expressed are dependent on the psychology of the human beings who express them.
DOES MY HUMAN DESIGN CHART SAY
PART I, How smart I am? If I’m pretty? If I’ll be rich? If I’m talented? (oh, and which talents?) If I’ll find the love of my life?
When a client asks about money, they’re usually coming from a place of experiencing financial distress. They want to know what their Design or astrology, or their cards, etc., say about their future or their ability to make money or have money or when the squeeze will be over, and sometimes will even ask if it could possibly be karmic that they lost their job and about to get evicted, or did they make a bad decision somewhere that led to their current scenario.
POSITIVE THINKING AND YOUR HUMAN DESIGN
A positive mindset will help you to uncloud your emotions and keep fear out of your decisions. It will allow you to see your way more clearly. When you are not struggling with difficult emotions such as resentment and feelings that life is unfair, it is much easier for you to access the gifts of your Human Design because it is much easier to see your options and to become aware of opportunities as they show up.
The Summer Solstice—occurring this year on June 20th—marks the day when the Sun is at its northernmost or southernmost arc along the celestial equator. This is the beginning of summer in the Northern Hemisphere, but winter begins in the Southern Hemisphere. The sun is directly above the Tropic of Cancer in the North and makes the longest day of the year. In the Southern Hemisphere, it is the shortest day and longest night.
GAUQUELIN, THE SKEPTICS, AND THE ASTROLOGERS
In 1957 Michel Gauquelin published his first statistical study of astrology. Using the horoscopes of thousands of French professionals (including athletes, actors, doctors, and scientists), he discovered clear correlations between planetary placement and profession. He then repeated his study and got identical results using the horoscopes of German, Italian, Belgian, and Dutch professionals. Throughout the 1960’s and 1970’s he continued to do studies and get statistically significant results.
HUMAN DESIGN: WHAT IT CAN AND CAN’T TELL YOU
Human Design doesn’t explain everything about your life.
CAN HUMAN DESIGN IDENTIFY YOUR RIGHT CAREER?
Some people come in with a strong sense of knowing what they want to do with their lives. For most of us knowing comes gradually, and it requires that we journey deep into the faceted landscape of experience.
HUMAN DESIGN: SAME CHART, DIFFERENT SOULS, PART III
To begin, the chart is not the Soul. Every Soul is unique. And although the themes of twin charts — fraternal or identical — are the same, they will be expressed from different foundations.
We are, all of us, living through catastrophic changes. Although there is so much that is uncertain and terrifying, we also have the opportunity to evaluate what is truly important and listen to what our hearts are saying.
What makes it June Solstice? The June solstice—occurring this year on the 20th—marks the day when the Sun is at its northernmost or southernmost arc along the celestial equator. The June solstice is the summer solstice in the Northern Hemisphere and the winter solstice in the Southern Hemisphere. The sun is directly above the Tropic of Cancer in the North and makes the longest day of the year. In the Southern Hemisphere, it is midwinter—the shortest day and longest night.
Have you lost your mojo? And your vitality…your hunger…your passion…your hope…your freedom…your excitement…your energy…when was the last time you had the energy to do more than just sit? Have you lost interest in pretty much everything? Been there, done that, or even if you haven’t done that, it’s not compelling anyway. Nothing’s all that compelling. Nothing’s that fascinating, remarkable, or worth bothering with. It’s all mostly just — yuk and blah.
YOUR POWER COMES FROM WHAT YOU WERE GIVEN
One of the biggest issues with any system, and this includes Human Design, is the vocabulary and jargon that is used to describe its elements. Invariably, a bigger picture is left out, and then it’s up to the students of a system to ask questions that require deeper reflection and greater honesty from the system.
What makes it Spring Equinox? It’s the astronomical moment when the Sun crosses the celestial equator, moving from south to north. Technically speaking, the equinox occurs when the sun is directly in line with the equator. For those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, it marks the beginning of spring, with daylight hours continuing to lengthen until the summer solstice in June. For those south of the equator, it’s the beginning of autumn.
Rather than struggling to identify a specific vocation (or career) focus instead on this: What do you care about? What did you love to do when you were very young? Look there for clues to a particular vocation. What is compelling for you? What creates excitement in you? What do you consider an adventure? What will cause you to leap out of bed? There are clues here that point to specific vocations. The activities you are naturally drawn to, what you long to learn about or explore, will point you to your next career. In other words, follow what calls you and your career will find you.
What is the magic that creates the Winter Solstice? It’s the astronomical moment when the Sun enters the Tropic of Capricorn. In the Northern Hemisphere, this is the moment in the year when we have the shortest day and the longest night. The Solstice marks the official start of winter. Because of the angle of the earth’s tilt, the Sun appears to stand completely still during the Winter Solstice. The word “solstice” comes from two Latin words: sol, meaning “sun,” and sistere, meaning “to stand still.” Winter is the season of standing still, of going within.
WHAT IS IN YOUR SOUL CONTRACT?
Your life is about completing what you were put on Earth to do. Your agenda, or soul intentions for what you planned to accomplish, is contained in your soul contract. You took on many agreements, some large and some small, to fulfill over the course of your life. Each one of you has a soul contract brimming with agreements, and these include your overarching mission, a.k.a. your dharma, as well as the incomplete transactions that seek resolution and balance — also known as karma. How do you find out what those are?
FALL EQUINOX 2019 THROUGH THE LENS OF ASTROLOGY AND HUMAN DESIGN: A TIME TO REMEMBER AND TO COMMIT
Fall is a Season of remembering. We are reminded that life is always moving forward, that everything changes, and that we cannot hold on to anything forever. Our memories of what once was are now especially poignant. If it is nothing else, Fall is the time to remember that we cannot take anything for granted.
It is important to honor what aligns with you and to follow what feels right. Even if it doesn’t inspire anyone! What is important is for you to honor your energy. Where you need to be right now is not where you will stay. The most critical thing for you is to be honest about what you need at this time, and what you need to let go of.
Believe in yourself. Believe that you have a right to be here. You have as much right as anyone to be here, and to find your right place in this world.
LET GO AND BE GRATEFUL FOR YOUR LIFE
Be grateful for your skills, gifts, talents, and opportunities, and what you have been able to do with them, and what creative and exciting things you will be doing with them!
WELCOME TO YOUR HERO’S JOURNEY
You have a Destiny, and to find it, you must go on your own hero’s journey.
THE JOB OF CONSCIOUSNESS IS EVOLUTION. Its motivation is curiosity and desire. Its end goal is unity. Its product is agape, or universal love.
Instead of being resigned to things as they are, surrender to them. In addition, let go of judging yourself for unfortunate decisions made in the past. See them for what they are — why you made them at the time, and what you now know not to do.
PROTECTING AND PRESERVING YOUR PROJECTOR ENERGY
When you don’t have a defined Sacral your energy’s not sustainable, so you have to learn to be really smart about how you use your energy. And that means that you have to be aware of what your personal energy boundaries are.
Sometimes it’s smooth sailing, but it’s often challenging, and at times, really challenging, to navigate your calling. And that’s not just because we’re not always clear on how to make the correct choice for us, but also because we live in a world filled with other people’s intentions and actions. These definitely can affect us, and their impact is not always intended to be a lesson meant specifically for us, if it is even a lesson.
Our Design describes how our energy is meant to flow. Our Design shows us our best tools for applying our energy; it shows us how to choose appropriately, where our greatest strengths are, and what we will be drawn to. The direction in which our energy flows is intended to show us where and how to carry out our life plan and soul purpose. And that is because our energy naturally flows towards what we are supposed to be doing, being, and learning.
FOLLOW WHAT FULFILLS TO FIND YOUR PURPOSE
Following your fulfillment is what will result in finding your purpose. I use the word fulfillment deliberately, as opposed to the word success. Success is too often associated with social status, with money, and with power. While we might be able to sustain “success” for a time, it will be abrasive and draining if we are trying to be someone we are not designed to be.
RESILIENCY IN TOUGH TIMES: BREAKING THROUGH DESPAIR
We don’t like to think about it, and we may not want to accept it – but we live with the unexpected – every day. The unexpected is regularly woven into the routines of our organized lives. It appears, again and again, inserting itself into our spreadsheets and carefully maintained portfolios. And just as the unexpected reminds us that we cannot escape the cycles of chaos, the weather or the seasons, it also reminds us that change is an inescapable fact of life. We are only fooling ourselves if we think otherwise.
WORKSHEET ON HOW TO IDENTIFY YOUR SOUL’S PURPOSE
Soul intentions drive your purpose. Intentions refer to what you agreed to accomplish prior to incarnating. Soul intentions, a/k/a your soul’s agenda, are created for many reasons. They include your agreements to your self and to others. They include your dharma and your karma. You will recognize your soul’s purpose by your inherent desires to experience and explore certain things.
The Force and Field of life is the energy of love that surrounds you. This Quantum Field surrounds all things animate and inanimate; all things present and unseen, all things that have not yet come into being, and all things that have transformed.
Empathy and identification with others are traits that come from the soul’s abundance. Your soul is the most sacred aspect of your being, and the most capable of understanding and demonstrating abundance. Abundance, at its core, is a spiritual, not material, matter.
THE OCCUPATION OF MALHEUR NATIONAL WILDLIFE REFUGE
There is an insidious and very large dark undercurrent at work at the occupation of Malheur – the fear that there is not enough for everyone; that everyone can’t have their needs met. Period. That kind of thinking inevitably creates the myth that only some deserve access to resources – and who decides that?
HUMAN DESIGN: SAME CHART, DIFFERENT SOULS, PART II
In Part I, I offered my working reflections on how the same human design can show up so differently in two different people. I looked at what different souls bring to their human design, including their soul trajectory, their unique dharmas, karmas, and life purpose. In this conversation, I consider how different expressions can stem from the same definition.
HUMAN DESIGN: SAME CHART, DIFFERENT SOULS, PART I
Here are my working reflections on how the same human design can show up so differently in two different people.
You have a unique purpose encoded within. You are here to act from that purpose. You are here to live, breathe, create, and experience health and great joy from that purpose. Living your purpose has immeasurable ramifications in the good that it does. Even if you cannot at first articulate that purpose, if you seek it with an open heart, it will find you.
DRAWING DOWN YOUR SOUL, PART III
The soul is that part of you that never dies and is re-birthed into incarnation after incarnation. The soul is the part of you that was made by the Creator Source, which is of the Creator Source, and is the Creator Source. Your soul is your portal back to God, it your piece of God, and it is what makes you God. It is your unique experiences, contributions, mistakes and insights that inspire God and the Universe, and cause them to expand.
DRAWING DOWN YOUR SOUL, PART II
The activities that you are naturally drawn to, what you long to learn about or explore, are the indicators of your birthright and your soul purpose. The key is to follow the paths that you find fulfilling. Every human being is an aspect of the Creative Impulse that spurs the evolution of humanity and the world. Therefore, understand that being who you are is everything. It is what truly matters, because your part as a positive force for the evolution of this world is effective only to the extent that you have drawn down your soul, activating your true nature..
DRAWING DOWN YOUR SOUL, PART I
When you are not living your purpose, your life is at best dull, ordinary, and unfulfilled. At worst – your life is characterized by setbacks and even cruel experiences. It is difficult to overcome the limitations imposed by being in the wrong place and situation. It is nearly impossible to come into our own when we are in the wrong environment, with the wrong people, and applying ourselves to tasks which are not ours to do.
LIVING WITH DYING IN THE ANTHROPOCENE
The world I knew was gradually getting away from me. It was slowly dying. I didn’t see it that way at first; I didn’t see it. I didn’t realize that with all the job losses, some abrupt and unexpected, the relationships that had ended – also abruptly and unexpectedly — and with the continuing hit to my finances, mind, and heart, that I was inside of my own Anthropocene.
Not long ago I wrote an article where I talked about the deep survival crisis the protagonist of Cast Away is plunged into when he is stranded on an uninhabited island. After four years of persevering and adapting to a harsh environment, he is able to free himself from the extreme confines of an isolated, ascetic life. In the current article I explore the primitive and intimate process of being inside the reality of moving through severe challenges.
UNEMPLOYMENT, KARMA, AND WHAT IS
The reality is that for most of us, our voice is limited, and our contributions undervalued. Still, we cannot give up or surrender. We must believe in our right to be here, and the right and necessity of carrying out our unique agreements.
WHEN YOU’RE GOING THROUGH HELL, KEEP GOING
I wrote this piece because I wanted to look at a few perspectives regarding traumatic events that result in life-altering circumstances. I also wanted to touch on how we might work with irrevocable alterations to our lives such that we stay engaged in life. Additionally, I wanted to look at the questions that arise when our life path is derailed: was it an accident, or was it planned?
GETTING BACK YOUR GRACE: CONNECTING TO YOUR ORIGINAL WHOLENESS DESPITE ACTS OF TERRORISM
You are already whole. The part of you that is manifesting in the here and now – the physical plane as you call it – is a much reduced, though still beautiful, expression of you. That expression may be functioning at physical and emotional peak, or it may be experiencing wear and lack of recovery. You may even be under attack.
NO INDIVIDUAL INSURANCE PLAN WILL COVER THIS KIND OF THING
As long as we believe that others who are “high maintenance,” that is, the poor, the mentally ill, the uneducated, the clinically depressed, the elderly, the jobless, the terminally ill (and the list goes on), are not deserving of authentic and ongoing intervention and assistance (because they should somehow have done something to have helped themselves), we will only have inefficient, inadequate and partial social programs to address these issues.
SPIRITUAL DNA – AN INTRODUCTION
I wrote this piece because I wanted to begin the process of understanding what Spiritual DNA is. The term seems to have been introduced relatively recently – perhaps in the last few years – though the more general idea of spiritual inheritance is as ancient as the concept of a Creator. It was from the Creator that all things emerged, as s/he was the One who breathed into life innumerable aspects of he/r own Divine Being. Our spiritual inheritance is older than the dust of ages, yet to reframe it as Spiritual DNA points to an evolution in our understanding of how soul develops, and perhaps compels us to explore this further.
Your soul purpose is your true calling, and when you are aligned with that calling, you will find the level for its appropriate or natural expression. It’s mythical thinking that you can find your soul purpose by listening to other people’s ideas or opinions about what that should look like! Be wary of claims and suggestions that the VALUE of your soul’s work is directly tied to the amount of money you make.
ARE YOU LIVING LIFE TOO SMALL?
These days I hear a great deal about living life too small. I have come across it again and again, mostly from the plethora of coaches and mentors for those seeking to find their purpose. The question, “Are you living your life too small?” has impressed me at times as almost accusatory, as if we may not be doing everything we can to be the best we can be, and perhaps even hints that if we are living a small life we are not living our purpose.
SOUL INTENTIONS, PART II – A REFLECTION ON SOUL PROGRESSION
At the simplest level, soul history refers to what you have been up to in each of your incarnations. At a more complex level, soul history also includes your role within the groups your soul has associated with over its many incarnations. These groups, or communities, are formed around intentions for a specific vision that require everyone’s cooperation. Soul groups themselves create trajectories.
SOUL INTENTIONS, PART I – A REFLECTION ON SOUL PURPOSE
When we speak of soul intentions, we are referring to those plans that were made by you prior to incarnating. Soul intentions are created for the purpose of fulfilling your agreements to your self and to others. These agreements have their basis in your soul history. Their agenda was formed in the annals of your past; they are not formed arbitrarily, or on the basis of a passing whim. A soul intention is not about glibly asking the question, “Hmm…what would I like to do next?”
Love asks us to show up and do what needs to be done. Spend more time with those we love. Listen to what others are asking of you. Pay attention to what others need. How can you be of service? Pay attention. The information is in the request. Pitch in at the homeless shelter or the humane society. Volunteer to deliver a meal. It doesn’t matter if you feel ready, or if you believe that you have prepared sufficiently.
HOLDING SPACE WITH THE EXPANDED HEART
When you expand your heart beyond its normal boundaries you are able to incorporate the needs, concerns and even wounds of another, or an entire group of others. How can you do this without also afflicting yourself with the wounds that you have taken into the expanded space of your heart?
I have been drawn to understand who I am through the journey of my own soul. I still vividly recall standing in front of a mirror when I was four and the awareness that took me by surprise that the little girl reflected there was a mere aspect of a much larger self. That was the beginning of my personal journey to uncover the mysteries that were hinted at in the mirror.
THE LIVES OF GOOD AND BEAUTIFUL SOULS
The lives of good and beautiful souls, that is, those who strive daily for authenticity, accountability and integrity, are as peppered with disappointment and loss as are the lives of less conscious, though still beautiful, souls.
Each of us began our immigration from reaches unknown, and places only vaguely remembered at best. Although we may not remember the specifics of our origins, those beginnings nevertheless follow us in our dreams and in our imaginations, sometimes haunting us in the way of a forgotten melody, sometimes spurring us to reach the tantalizing wilds on the other side of the horizon. As inevitably as the pulse of our first heartbeat continues to thrum its way through each of our incarnations, our beginnings are never separate from us.
The steps we take to recover from disappointment, shock and loss have everything to do with the meaning we make from those experiences. If we believe that we are powerless, that we are victims, and that life is against us, we will not recover. If we believe that our options for choice and personal happiness have come and gone, and that what remains ahead are crumbs, we will not recover.
There was time when I believed that I had very little say about my life. There was a time when I believed I had no authority to confront not just the challenges, but the horrific experiences I endured as a child. As a child I believed that’s just the way things were; that’s just how life is. Later, as the daughter of impoverished immigrants who did not speak English as their first language, I continued to find numerous reasons to support my impression that I was a victim of circumstances, and that my lot in life was destined to be one of severe limitation.
At the still point of the turning world we are still,
spinning.
Shooting threads of light, finer than rainbow gossamer,
diaphanous and delicate beyond measure,
yet stronger than this life we know–
by far.
At the risk of sounding like a complete heretic of the prevailing cultural paradigm (the one that says you aren’t somebody unless you look like this and have measurable status, money, and power and have achieved so much and so many laud you and confetti you with accolades and seek your mentorship and particular brand of wisdom and counsel and wish to step into your path, if not your shoes), let me share with you some of the observations and explorations I have made concerning life purpose – or – a life with purpose.
HOW CAN I FIND MY SOUL’S PURPOSE?
I lived with this question for years, but I didn’t know I was actually asking it. Later, in my studies of transformational tools and principles, I was told that “Something unique wants to express itself through you – something that only you can give birth to.” I thought this was, at best, a nice sentiment. It was very egalitarian as it left no one out, and it even made everyone special.
Father Mother God, Creator of all beings
Unparalleled Lover from Whom emanates boundless capacity for love,
for eternal care;
from Whom issues all balms to soothe and heal all wounds,
Who has known and suffered through us and with us all wounds that are possible –
that have ever been –
and Who has received these many hurts into His-Her Heart…
HOW TO NAVIGATE THE PAIN OF DEEP DISAPPOINTMENT, LOSS AND BETRAYAL
No matter how much we live our lives with integrity, we are going to take hits. No matter how self-actualized we are, and how many tools we have to get us back to center, we still need to slog through pain from time to time. It’s part of life here. We can’t avoid it. So I’ve put together a process for navigating pain. I hope you find it helpful.
