I encourage you to submit questions regarding your life path and soul’s journey using the form below. Keep checking back for more Q and A discussion. For in-depth Questions and Answers on your Human Design type, go to Manifestor, Generator, Manifesting Generator, Projector, and Reflector.
Q. I need help with my mistakes and bad decisions. In my financial world I was pretty successful for the first 20 years and not at all in the next 20, even though I worked very hard. I would like to get the next 10 or more years right without making bad decisions – how can I go about this?
A. The way I would approach this is to ask yourself what was different about the first 20 years? Was the business climate better? Was the overall economic situation in your part of the world better than the subsequent 20 years? Was the product or service your company delivered still meeting the needs of your consumers? Was that product or service outmaneuvered by the introduction of a better (or more appealing) product/ service by a competitor? Did your health change (drop in energy and concentration capacity)? Were there major life changes that took your attention away from your business? Is it possible that you stopped paying attention to your intuition?
Some additional considerations: Did you have the same level of enthusiasm for your business in the latter 20 years as you did in the first 20? Did this enterprise feed your passion and creativity as it had in the beginning, or had it become rote and even lifeless? It is possible that you were ready to move on to something new and yet you stayed because it was a proven track and comfort zone. Try to recall if in fact you were ready to move on, and yet you chose to stay with the status quo – for another 20 years. During these latter 20 years, did you consider that it might have been possible to leave at any time, yet you did not?
None of these observations are in any way intended to express judgment at how you chose to act in the past. I simply ask these questions as a way of assisting you to review details that you may have not paid enough attention to. In this way, you can, with the information gained from reflection and hindsight, be able to henceforth recognize the voice of your intuition.
Q. Intuition: is that the higher self or just the soul energy getting through?
A. For the purposes of this question there is essentially no difference between the soul, soul energy, and the higher self. When we learn to recognize a hunch, a feeling, or an intuition that a certain situation is or is not appropriate for us, then we are listening to our soul or our higher self, or soul “energy.”
Q. Is there a time limit on our soul DNA?
A. The soul is eternal. Its DNA is always expanding, as it adds DNA with every incarnation, both through biology, and through the teachings/ spiritual mentorship from others while in a body. There is no limit to the expansion or incorporation of knowledge, or to the capacity for transformation, and no limit to the soul’s capacity to inherit or pass on DNA, both biological and spiritual. DNA contains information that regulates the physical body, and at the spiritual level, influences the growth of consciousness. Even after a soul is no longer incarnating, it continues to wield the influence of its DNA via guiding others who are still incarnating. Discarnate beings also influence each other in the non-physical realms. Ultimately, DNA, both biological and spiritual, is a mechanism for transferring information, and the exchange and transfer of information never stops.
Q. What happens when the physical body has expired? Will we be able to access our soul DNA eventually?
A. Whether we are currently incarnate or between lives, we are always accessing our soul DNA. You might say we are our DNA, as its influence is as inescapable as breathing. Since you are your soul, and the soul does not expire with the death of the physical body, you never lose access to your soul DNA. Whether you are conscious of it or not, your soul DNA is always available.
Q. What did you mean when you said that you can never go home again?
A. What I meant was that the old home represents the beliefs that served you up to a point in time. When you have altered those beliefs, or broken from them altogether because of new information that subsequently expands your insights and the possibilities of how you can live your life, then the home that you built will no longer be viable for you. Now you need to build a home/ create a life that will support your new values.
Q. You say: The higher self is accessible through your feelings – I have me, my soul energy that gives the orders, my mind that instructs the operating program, and my brain and body that activates it all until death – question: where do feelings feature in this and is my higher self my soul energy or is it a conductor that helps with the operating program? Feelings and higher self go at the time of death – is that right?
A. The higher self is accessible through one’s intuition, and feelings are often a way in which we experience intuition. The higher self is the conductor of the soul, and ultimately, the conductor of the entire incarnation. I am defining the higher self as one’s Essence, that aspect of soul which monitors all of its incarnations. Soul is always connected to higher self, or Essence. Sometimes soul and higher self are used interchangeably to mean the same thing. Essence sends out fragments of itself in the form of what we commonly refer to as the soul, or that part of Essence which merges with and animates the physical body, and has the experience of incarnation.
The soul is intended to be the immediate conductor for the life. When we are in alignment with the reason/s for our incarnation – our soul purpose – then we are operating from a place of balance and clarity, and it is our soul that is in charge. The mind is not intended to be the decision-maker for the life. It is intended to develop strategies to assist the unfolding course of a life. Decisions are made from the heart, through which the soul speaks. It is often the case that the mind will override the promptings of soul, and when this happens, we are no longer tracking our purpose. We allow the mind to take over when we believe we have little value, when we fear for our security and reputation, when we are mistreated, and when we give in to what we know in our hearts is a false perception or belief. Finding our way back to the heart’s center will mitigate the negative influence of a mind gone rogue.
The higher self, or Essence, is always present. It is eternal. It is the main operating program for any incarnation, and it gets filtered in through intuition, perceptions, and feelings. When the body dies, the current personality is released and may live on in the astral for a time – sometimes a long time. Memories and feelings of each incarnation is retained by Essence, as these provide the databank from which future incarnations will continue to evolve. If there are unresolved issues from a life, and this is generally the case, those issues will be brought back for further review in an upcoming life, not necessarily the next one, along with the feelings and perceptions of the previous life or lives.
Q. If I don’t have a mate agreement with someone I’m attracted to, does that mean we can’t be together?
Just because two people don’t have a mate agreement doesn’t mean they can’t become each other’s mates. The “glue” that pulls people together is often created by karma or agreements, but it can also be created by natural affinities (the whole package of attraction between two people), including shared values and an overall similar consciousness. Karma between people often feels very compelling and exciting. You might think karma between persons always causes revulsion, but if that were so, then the karmic imbalance wouldn’t stand much of a chance of getting deleted.
Additionally, we are not all-knowing when we’re making our pre-incarnational plans with other souls, so we don’t always include everyone we could in those plans. Even if we wanted to have our best friends in each of our lives, their life plans may require that they incarnate in different parts of the country or world, or their agreements may be with a different group of souls. That is where they need to be to do what they agreed to do and to have the experiences (education) they seek. BUT it often happens that life plans get altered and you do meet people who are viable mates, even though you did not originally plan to connect with them.
Life Doesn’t Support Me
Q. I am having a difficult time believing that what I want is possible for me. I am puzzled by how some days I can feel so on top of the world and really good about myself, and yet on many other days I feel nothing is ever going to happen for me because I don’t really have much value or much to offer compared to others. I can’t seem to find my center. I’m afraid that I’m going to live a barely-getting-by-life for the rest of my life, that I’m never going to believe in myself or that I can ever change my circumstances. Is there anything I can do?
You are going round and round with mental chatter. That chatter is making it difficult for you to believe that life is on your side. But the mind is not intended to be the decision-maker for the life. It is intended to develop strategies to assist the unfolding course of a life. It is true that the school of life is not easy, and sometimes it IS extremely harsh. When we have experiences that do not support our well-being and that take away our hope that there really is a place in the world for us, it is next to impossible to pursue a course of action that might provide us with what we need. We simply don’t have the energy. We TALK ourselves into giving up. It is much easier to simply go away and disappear. Sure, there’s a part of us that says “I want to believe this is possible! I want to believe that I am radiant and unique and that I don’t have to do anything to have incomparable value! I want to believe that I have a unique contribution to make and a fun way of expressing it!” But when everything seems to be working against that, mocking you, telling you that you’re deluded and you should just go crawl under a rock and stay there, where’s the incentive to try? Even so, part of you does want to reach out and believe it’s true that you have a purpose and a divine contract to fulfill that purpose. Yet there doesn’t seem to be any way of making that happen. Where do you go from here?
Stop listening to the go-round of endless chatter and drop down into your heart. I firmly believe that the truth can be found there. We came in with plans and promises to bring those into being. We came in with support. The information is encoded in us. Try making statements out loud, for example, “I am a radiant, magnetic being. I am grateful for all of my life experiences, the good and the bad. I am fully supported and deeply loved,” and allow your uncensored feelings about each of those statements to wash over you. See what comes up for you. See if making those statements as if they were true for you make you angry or sad, or both. Are these statements truth or lies? Is someone trying to pull the wool over your eyes and turn you into an unthinking sheep so they can take advantage of you? Are they illusions created to keep you from protesting too much and causing a disturbance? Or are you just a loser who never had what it takes to get into the game? Ask yourself for each belief that you struggle with: WHAT IS REALLY TRUE? IS THIS TRUE FOR ME? WHAT IS REALLY TRUE FOR ME? Take your time; go deep. Listen to your heart. Identifying for ourselves what we KNOW to be TRUE for US is key. Everything else is irrelevant. Once you have the foundation of what you know is really true for you, then you can anchor yourself to that. The quality of mental chatter fluctuates and wavers with hormones, with rain, with sunshine, with a cross word or a smile. This is not the way to establish your foundational truths. When you know what is really true for you, then the mental weather and even external circumstances are just a temporary inconvenience.
Money and Personal Value
Q. I’ve never made very much money, no matter how much effort I put into it. I’ve always been responsible at my jobs, but somehow I am never given the opportunity to take on more responsibility. I’ve managed OK with what I have, and when I’m with people that care about me I don’t think about how much money I have. But when I see how much better others are doing than me, I feel inferior. I feel like a loser, and then I get confused about my value.
A. The confusion over money stems, I think, in large part from this – we live in a culture that values, with perhaps the exception of body size, more and bigger over lesser and smaller. Stronger and flashier is definitely better. Power over many is regarded highly, and revered – as well as – feared. Be that as it may, the word on the street is if you’re not making a six or seven figure income from your god-given talents, then you may not be living your life purpose, and you’re likely living life too small.
It is implied that a life lived small is conventionally characterized by its lack of notable achievement. A small life is not excessively creative or well-funded, and it probably doesn’t contribute much to the advancement of the person or society – because – well, it’s small. A big life is pretty much identified via status, visibility, ample financial resources and a significant following. It requires focus, drive, sustained energy and continual marketing. While it may not be exactly restful, I’ve heard that living your life in this dynamic state is exciting and exhilarating. There will definitely be challenges along the way – issues of self-doubt and those nagging false beliefs that you aren’t worthy, but if you can stay the course despite the challenges of seeking your greatness, then go for it.
On the other hand, you may not have any desire to pursue greatness. Then what? A question that comes to mind for me is – despite its bad press – is a small life nevertheless capable of giving expression to its dharma? And: is greatness defined by size? These days we hear a great deal about living life too small. I have come across it again and again, from a plethora of popular sources. The question, “Are you living your life too small?” has impressed me at times as almost accusatory, as if we may not be doing everything we can to be the best we can be, and perhaps even hints that if we are living a small life we are not living our purpose. The not-so-embedded implication is that if a life is small, then it has lesser value than a life that is big and attention-getting. It might also be implied that you are lazy or lack drive and focus. If we accept as a truth that life can be lived too small then we must find ways to make life bigger!
Or not. After having spent some time wrestling with money as a direct expression of my value, and how that fits in with my original soul intentions (the agreements I made prior to incarnating in this current life), I’ve come out on the side of how crucial it is to focus on identifying and living your original soul plan. That plan is your dharma, and your unfolding path to realizing your authentic self, and whatever amount of money goes along with that.
Because of the tremendous emphasis on money and status and a big following as a measure of your value, your greatness, and your success as a human being, it has been very difficult to connect to our authentic selves. Who we are has gotten lost in the prevailing definitions. And those definitions are very exclusive. They do not begin to identify all the ways in which a human being is capable of giving expression to the myriad and innumerable possibilities of the gifts of soul, of spirit. We are representations of the Divine. We are sparks of the Divine, and as such, we carry the Divine DNA that makes it completely possible for us to be the creators of our lives, and to have an impact on the world we live in.
It is through expressing our original intentions that we find our path, and that we step into our appropriate evolution. I also believe that when we follow our agreements, that we will get the help and support we need. It is how the universe is structured – each of is an important, critical piece of the puzzle. When we step into our energetic rightful place, we find the right currents to travel in, or they find us, and that includes the people, the support systems, the tools, and the money that we need to do our work. It can take a huge leap of faith to step into identifying and living your soul intentions/ your authentic self. It’s understandable, given that the world supports celebrity, genius, and big talent. BUT THE TRUTH IS, ALL YOU HAVE IS YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF. So the really important thing is to identify who that is, and what you originally agreed to do in this incarnation. And then do it. And trust that the Universe will support you in being who you are.
As Charles Eisenstein said, Not only do you have to be expressing your gift, but also it has to be going toward a purpose that you care about, that is beautiful to you. And no matter how much money you’re paid, you won’t be happy if you’re not doing that.
To Be, or Not To Be – an Entrepreneur
Q. I was always successful working for someone else, but I suck as an entrepreneur. So I am thinking that I need to give up being an entrepreneur (although the thought of returning to a regular job makes me nauseous). But I get a bigger sinking sensation when I think about not being able to pay the rent in a couple of months – which is when my money runs out. I am feeling very discouraged at the moment. Like I no longer know who I am or how I fit into the world. Any insights?
A. The biggest issue right now is getting cash to flow your way. Perhaps you are being called to do what you need to do to take care of yourself for right now – in this moment of your life. And perhaps doing that will give you greater clarity, though most of the time things are clunky. What I mean is – we would love to have all the pieces in place before we begin. We have so much more security that way, but often we only have the next step. Sometimes we just grab what’s available and trust the process. Trust that the next step will become apparent. It’s so much easier said than done, I know. But I also know how very stuck we can become, afraid to move at all when it looks like the roof will soon collapse and there’s no place to go. So we have to do something – taking a step on your behalf is much better than not moving at all. You can always course-correct. And you know that whatever you do, it’s only for now. It’s a step taken with your best interests in mind – and that is always your right direction. Wherever you land, it’s not permanent. It’s just another stone in the river for you to step on.
When we face serious challenges, we can’t help feeling like we don’t fit in the world, that there’s no place in the world for us. It is especially acute when we’ve put our energy into making something real happen – like a business! So here you are, rethinking yourself and your original goals. That’s good, because I think it’s really important to never take who we are for granted. The reason: we are always growing, stretching, bringing more of ourselves down into ourselves. We are dynamic. Evolution is built into us. We can’t avoid it! When I’ve hit these roadblocks (and they have been intense – job losses, loss of home, loss of loved ones, and on), especially when they’ve come up more than once or twice, I’ve seriously considered that I didn’t belong here; that my being here was a huge error in someone’s judgment. After all, if things didn’t change in a few weeks, I’d be living in my car and panhandling for food. Now there’s a message from life, right? YOU HAVE NO VALUE. LEAVE. You’re in the wrong place, in the wrong world. I seriously had these thoughts! But while I was falling, I let everyone I know that I was falling. If I had to go down, I was going to star in it.
The other thing I did was look really, really hard at where I had put my energies all these years. Was this what I REALLY wanted to be doing? Was my HEART really in it? Did I believe that these activities genuinely served me and those around me? Were these things genuinely reflective of my interests, my gifts, of the way my life force runs, and was my creativity boundlessly prolific as a result? Or was I faking it because these things just seemed to be me. Was I following this trail because this is what other people said I should be doing? Even though I may not be entirely clear, because it fits (almost) I’ll keep pursuing it even though something seems off. I thought about what has delighted me when I wasn’t thinking about making a living. What did I love when I was a little girl? Getting to the bare-bones honesty of all of it is really the only way to remove the dust from the mirror. It’s a scary thing to do, but if it ain’t you you see there, change direction. Take off the costume – it’s not yours to wear. But if it is you, don’t give up! You’re cycling; you’re on a learning curve, even if you can’t see it. In the meantime, reconfiguring and taking practical steps to keep yourself together will serve you now, and later.
Generators and Multiple Streams of Income
Q. Do generators need multiple streams of income? Is it good for them, or should they really focus on just one?
A. What Generators need is to find work that is deeply satisfying for them, and that they can develop mastery in. They also need to wear their Sacrals out every day. Manifesting Generators need multiple arenas of activity to satisfy the needs of their energy. As for multiple streams of income for a Generator, what a Generator needs to do is listen to their Sacral response. If their Sacral responds “yes!” or “uh-huh!” when asked the question “Do you want to have multiple streams of income?” then that is correct for them, as long as the Sacral says it is. But having multiple streams of income is not what the Sacral itself seeks. The Sacral being seeks to be engaged in Work that honors their strong flow of energy and that provides delicious challenges that engage them at every level. That may involve multiple streams of income as a byproduct of the work, or not. It may or may not result in wealth in the conventional sense. The point is to apply the Sacral’s sustainable energy to what will fulfill the soul of the individual Generator.