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HONORING WHERE YOU ARE

It is important to honor what aligns with you and to follow what feels right. Even if it doesn’t inspire anyone. What is important is for you to honor your energy.

What do you need to have your life be like at this time?

Feel into what that feels like.

Is it OK for you to be where you are right now?

It is important to honor what aligns with you and to follow what feels right. Even if it doesn’t inspire anyone! What is important is for you to honor your energy. Where you need to be right now is not where you will stay. The most critical thing for you is to be honest about what you need at this time and what you need to let go of. It is really all right to let go of the pressure to make something happen. It is necessary. When we push and nothing changes, there is information here for you. What you are doing is not correct for you at this time.

First things first: take the time to check in with yourself. Are you feeling emotionally and physically nourished? Are you feeling well-rested?

It is paramount for you to stay in touch with the flow of your energy. When we push, we lose power. We lose our ability to discern what is correct for us. When we push, we are out of alignment with ourselves and what we need to sustain ourselves. When we push, we lose connection to our center and our self-awareness. In this state, it is hard to tell if what we are doing is helping us get to where we want to go and giving us what we need. Worse case, we start to feel afraid that we are losing our grip on life, on our ability to remain in control.

Sometimes it is time to just stop, to retreat, rest, and renew. When you no longer feel joy and excitement, when you are out of ideas or can no longer get behind the ones you had, it is time to re-evaluate what you are doing and how you are doing it. Perhaps it is not so much that what you are doing is not correct for you, as it is a matter of timing and the availability of your energy.

Only you know how long you need to be in retreat and what will rejuvenate you. Retreating does not mean that you stop paying your bills. Do what you must to keep yourself together and do not take on any more. Please do not pressure yourself to be amazing or believe that you must do something right now to turn things around, ignoring the fact that you have been spinning your wheels for some time.

Your right plan of action will reveal itself when your vitality is restored and available to you. Your ideas and creativity will flow again.

We must always be our own advocates and allies; we are the highest authority for what is true for us at any time. Only you know what it feels like to be you and what you need. Find the pace that works for you at any given moment. It will shift from time to time and from project to project. Remember that how you do things and how fast you do them is unique to you and is influenced by how your energy naturally flows. You are not supposed to look like anyone else’s success or keep up with anyone else.

Please honor how you do things, and how you need to do them. You have a rhythm that is unique to you. How your energy flows is unique to you. It takes time and trial and error to truly know ourselves. Be patient with your process of discovering how you work and what works best for you. You will eventually find your personal rhythm of sustainability. You want to be in the flow that is your unique rhythm because this is where you feel good and where you are the most creative and productive. It is here that you are also at your most magnetic and radiant.

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LET GO AND BE GRATEFUL FOR YOUR LIFE

Be grateful for your life! Be grateful for your skills, gifts, talents, and opportunities, and what you have been able to do with them, and what creative and exciting things you will be doing with them! How fun is that?

Make peace with your current situation. Accepting what is will allow movement. There is magic between the moments of your life, but don’t take my word for it. Look inside and see for yourself.

Realize that your situation is an EVOLVING one. Everything is temporary, and even if it doesn’t feel like it, the energy is still moving, and moving you to your next place. Every time we get stuck or something unpleasant or unexpected happens, we tend to believe it’s forever. There goes all our hard work! Then we go into flight and fight, creating disarray, with the possibility of losing the connection to our original inspiration.

When the unexpected happens, your job is to stay open and curious and follow the energy rather than attempting to get in front of it and try to make it go in a certain direction. There is a higher Intelligence at play here.

You are inside of a much bigger picture. Always. Allow yourself to step out of reaction and connect with the flow of life force energy that is emanating directly from you. It is very powerful, and will guide you to your next steps.

Your ego is not in charge, though it will try to convince you. Your Soul is. Surrender to its promptings, and then apply (and unleash) all your glorious abilities in service to your purpose.

When we’re feeling pressure about a situation, we want to take immediate action to address it. When we anticipate what we perceive to be the logical outcome for a current situation, we problem-solve in anticipation of that particular outcome. For example: I don’t have enough money coming in, and that means that I am eventually going to lose my house. Therefore, I have to make lots of money NOW to prevent that horrible thing from happening! Therefore, I will work harder to get clients (and ignore my exhaustion and maybe even come off as desperate or repulsive) or throw myself into a job situation that is going to suck me dry and hope that my recovery time is negligible and I will still be able to keep going until the breakthrough happens.

Ask yourself: Is it really an EMERGENCY? Perceiving an emergency where one doesn’t actually exist will cause us to behave in ways that will stop the natural unfolding of possibilities. We get in FRONT of events and corral them, pushing them in certain directions instead of allowing the situation to play out. How do you know that things are going to turn out the way you think? That’s your panic talking. Taking action when there is no definitive need in the moment can cause an outcome that is undesirable and create real loss that could have been avoided.

Our standard approaches to problem-solving are both logical and masculine, and even patriarchal. It doesn’t recognize that there are many pieces at play in any situation. There are multiple strands of causation moving at any one time, with potential multiple outcomes and expressions. The masculine approach to problem-solving has no idea that many strands are involved, and doesn’t really trust intuition or recognize that there is a natural flow to creativity. It doesn’t KNOW that there is an actively yin fertile process that needs time to grow. The feminine way of problem-solving is open and adaptive, and has its own timing.

The important thing is to not get caught up in anticipating outcomes that cannot be known, and instead, imagine other possibilities. Accept that you have no idea how you’re going to get through this, and you don’t yet have the facts or tools in hand. The creative process involves continuous adaptation, calling for different things at different moments. If you have been following your heart’s calling, you know this is true, and that you can trust that process.

If something is really an emergency, taking action will be obvious and automatic. But when it’s not, that beautiful thing that wants to be born requires your patience and trust. It’s when we’re in seeming limbo that it’s time to relax into not-knowing. It’s time to let go of the need to know, and the need to make something happen. Although we are the instruments that our creations and manifestations come through, they are entities in their own right and have their own process and timing. And when you honor and support that process, everyone is nurtured into success.

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WELCOME TO YOUR HERO’S JOURNEY

You have a Destiny, and to find it, you must go on your own hero’s journey. You will likely begin this journey pressured by cultural mores that promise conventional success as long as you choose certain paths and stick to them.

But to become who you are, you must be on your path. If you want to know who you are, you can’t stay on someone else’s pre-assigned path. You can’t even take a hike on the yellow brick road because it will probably lead you to the wrong city or the wrong school and the wrong teacher. But when we take the path that is ours, the one that calls to us, we will come to know ourselves, and what we are meant to do.

You will discover who you are and what the world is made of through experiencing, experimenting, and making mistakes. You will not learn your destiny overnight. Do not worry that you have taken a wrong turn. That is why it is a journey, and it will be filled with many unknowns, and you will come face-to-face with situations you have no idea how to handle. But when you follow what is fulfilling, you will gradually self-correct. When you follow what is fulfilling, you will learn to recognize when you have taken a detour. It’s not always possible to know what will happen when we take certain actions, but we cannot do all our growing from the classroom, from books, movies, or conversations. There are things we simply have to do for ourselves because there is no other way to find out what’s true for us, what’s correct for us, and what brings us to delight and fulfillment.

Each one of us has been given a map and a compass. What map, where is it? The map is inside you; however, it is as if it were drawn with disappearing ink, and it is your task to make that ink appear. You do this by heading in the direction that calls to you. If nothing calls you, stop to rest and enjoy the scenery. Be patient. If nothing calls you, and you’re starting to get restless, it is all right to get up and move – one step at a time. Trust your inner compass. Do not give up because, after a while, you will realize that you are tracking with your map, and routes are magically appearing as you go.

When the energy around you begins to stagnate – as in there is nothing more to offer to any part of you – spiritual, intellectual, or emotional – then it is time to move on. You are still making your map! It is necessary to continue to explore various situations so that you can find out who you are. You will come to know yourself deeply through experiencing different environments and the people in them. You are learning the limits of what any situation has to offer you, and you are also learning what you will tolerate and what you need to be inspired, motivated, and nourished. You are always learning what calls to you. Lean into that.

Have patience with your process. Surrender to the experiences that bring you clarity. Know that as you gain more experience, your knowledge of what you are here to do will continue to crystallize for you. Believe that you are here to do what draws you, what fulfills you, and what brings you joy. Your job is to connect with that. You are on an exciting reconnaissance mission, no matter if you have just begun, or are years deep into the territory.

At the end of life, you will have a map like no other.

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NO INDIVIDUAL INSURANCE PLAN WILL COVER THIS KIND OF THING

The title of this article is inspired by a statement Liza Long made in her post of December 16, 2012, at Gawker.com: “I am Adam Lanza’s mother. No insurance plan will cover this kind of thing.” In a lyrical and riveting narrative on the troubling spectrum of her son’s behaviors, Ms Long writes about the December 14 tragedy at the Sandy Hook Elementary School. Raising her brilliant and disturbed child was a profound challenge for her. She goes on to say, “This problem is too big for me to handle on my own. Sometimes there are no good options. So you pray for grace and trust that in hindsight, it will all make sense.”

On Sunday, December 16, in a presentation at an interfaith vigil in the town of Newtown, Connecticut, the President said, “These tragedies must end, and to end them, we must change. We will be told that the causes of such violence are complex, and it is true. No single law, no set of laws, can eliminate evil from the world or prevent every senseless act of violence in our society. But that can’t be an excuse for inaction. Surely we can do better than this.”

When Caroline Myss, a New York Times best-selling author and dynamic teacher of spiritual psychology, is asked for her insight on the cause of illness or the reason for tragedy, she admonishes that there is never any one cause that leads to a specific result. There are always many causes or reasons that are ultimately behind any situation or effect.

As long as we believe that others who are “high maintenance,” that is, the poor, the mentally ill, the homeless, the uneducated, the chronically depressed, the elderly, the jobless, the terminally ill (and the list goes on), are not deserving of compassionate and ongoing intervention and assistance (because they should somehow have done something to have helped themselves), we will only have inefficient and inadequate social programs to address these issues. And there will be no reason to have insurance plans that cover the gaps or pick up the slack of inadequate social programs – because we don’t think they’re necessary. As long as we believe that any underachiever, addict, or down-on-their-luck person needs to exercise more self-responsibility and all will be well, I assert that we also need to have programs and funds and housing and food and transportation and clothing to assist them with climbing out of their pit. Human beings cannot improve their lives and develop greater sufficiency without resources. Period. How long would any of us last in the desert without food, water, and a tent? Or how about just without our current utilities infrastructure? As long as we expect that the burden of care for the high maintenance among us must be borne solely by individuals and their families, whose tents are only so big, we will collectively continue to pay dearly. It’s worth stating here that any misconceptions, and even arrogance, we have regarding the “lessons” of those in trouble should consider that there is never a single cause for a single effect, and that we are all subject to the same physical laws.

Mental illness, like poverty and accidents, will likely always be with us. It is inherent in our lesser nature to default to an incomplete and imbalanced understanding of all the factors that create these conditions, and to understand justice through the lens of polarity rather than through the heart of compassion. When we understand and accept that we are all in life together, we realize that it is our divine obligation to care for those with whom we do not share familial DNA. We can build a vision of a collective family. From this vision, different structures, legal processes, and programs can emerge.

What can we do that is undoubtedly better than what we have done? We can create new systems, but to do so, we will need to step outside our known experiences. Perhaps what we need is to create new paradigms that take us to places in our consciousness that we have never been to before – to think way out of the box in the most extraordinary and exalted ways!

I believe it’s possible to call in a future that’s far more aligned with the real values many of us subscribe to. If we believe that everyone should have a roof over their heads and be able to pursue the education that will develop their innate talents and build their ability to contribute, then we find or create the means to make this happen. If we believe in universal health care, we envision the systems that will bring it into being. And while we do so, let us not ignore the organizations already in place, which depend heavily on donations. We can get these into the mainstream, making them an integral part of the culture. The shift here is that these organizations can be empowered to be far more than charities.

Let us put on our best strategic minds in service of a more beautiful and just world —one that engages our many different skills and talents. It is our collaborative and cooperative efforts that are the insurance plan that can cover many different kinds of claims. The vision and the value are this: each one of us has the right to claim, and indeed must claim, their highest and best expression. Imagine a community where everyone is contributing at their peak! In the meantime, we can continue supporting organizations that support others and continue reaching out to each other in humility and without judgment, as none of us has been deprived of the foundation of support that enables us to become who we are now.

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HOW MUCH IS YOUR SOUL WORTH?

This conversation is a continuation of a previous discussion titled Are You Living Life Too Small?. In that essay, I challenged the notion that living a “small” life means not living your purpose. In this reflection, I address the confusion many of us feel about the connection between the money we earn or have and how it is often held up as a mirror of our value.

There is an overwhelming cacophony of voices challenging us — almost accusingly — that we may be living small lives. These voices are most recently found in the superabundance of coaches and mentors to coaches. Their question, “Are you living your life too small?” seems to declare that if we are living a small life, we are not living our purpose. We are, they say, born to express our greatness. The obvious implication is that if a life is small, then we are not being all we can be. It is the life of “greatness” that we should pursue, and that is worth living. But what if you don’t have the desire to pursue greatness? Is it possible that a “small life” can be capable of giving expression to its dharma and expressing its greatness in that way? And how does a person measure whether or not they are living their life in just the right size? To begin answering this, it is helpful to consider what living one’s greatness might really mean.

Is it about living an exalted life, that is, one where you are famous and glamorous and impressive and influential and make lots of money? Or could it be about what your life looks like when you authentically follow your bliss?

Living your greatness may mean living a celebrity-style life. It may mean that you share your gifts in a very public arena. It may also mean that you share your gifts in smaller, simpler, quieter, and less visible ways. Maybe you do your best work as an anonymous guardian angel. Being human, we tend to be literal in how we evaluate acts of benevolence, measuring their greatness directly in proportion to their size. But consider how grateful we are when we are offered a glass of water when we are thirsty, or a piece of fruit when we are hungry. Think of the deep nurturing we experience when we are listened to and seen for who we are. Reflect on how important it was for you to be cared for as a child or when you were sick. Reflect on the fullness you feel when you nourish the grieving and hungry.

Could living your greatness be about carrying out your soul’s intentions, in other words, your soul’s purpose?

Everyone Has a Unique Purpose
Each person has a unique purpose that is encoded within them. Bear in mind that if what we do does not come from the heart, we can get hooked by our negative ego, which wants plenty of worldly recognition. As you know, purpose is not limited to what we do; purpose is also about being, about presence, and reflecting your light. We come in with different agendas – some large, some small. We will not have exalted agendas in every life. Some lives are meant to be quieter; some lives are lives of rest. Our work is to give our gifts to those who need them. Our specific gifts are inherent to our soul’s life purpose. Whatever our gifts, they will always improve another’s condition or situation. Living our lives in just the right size comes with the appropriate giving of our gifts. Spirit will take care of the size of the venue or arena in which you are to express and contribute your unique gifts.

Be the person that you were meant to be. You do this by paying attention to your desires. These desires hold the clue to your soul’s intentions. Fulfillment comes when you create from your heart. You will know your purpose when you experience a deep sense of personal fulfillment; you will know, from your sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, that this is what is right for you. Your soul intentions are not about a career; they are not about making lots of money or being famous. Your purpose is something you do whether you get paid for it or not. Your soul’s need to carry out its intentions is the motivation.

Your Soul Purpose is your True Calling
Your soul’s purpose is your true calling, and when you are aligned with that calling, you will find the level for its appropriate or natural expression. It’s mythical thinking that you can find your soul purpose by listening to other people’s ideas or opinions about what that should look like! Be wary of claims and suggestions that the VALUE of your soul’s work is directly tied to the amount of money you make.

Your Soul Has Its Own Signature
Everything has its own rhythm, and moves and breathes according to its own nature. Everything contains its own unique spiritual signature. You are unique. You come from the Tao; you are a unique aspect of the Tao. Now, what would you like to do as Tao? Do you want to rest? Do you want to sit in the garden? Do you want to make soup? Do you want to provide a home for a shelter dog or cat? Do you want to explore the mysteries of the quantum field? What do you, as the Tao, need to create to express your unique “greatness?”

You’re here to manifest your unique spiritual signature, whatever that is, whatever it looks like. To believe that you first have to be great or “live your greatness” before you can express your uniqueness can be confusing and misleading – not to mention, it can ultimately stop you dead in your tracks. Forget about being “great;” focus instead on getting in touch with your unique spiritual signature and then expressing it. When you are expressing your unique piece of the Tao, your life will be a beautiful reflection of who you are, and you will be living who you came here to be, and doing what you came here to do, and the “size” of that expression will be in sync with your soul’s intentions. That size could well change over time, but to attempt to create a size based on pressure from gurus who tell you that you are living your life too small, that living your soul purpose is directly tied to your income, and that the size of your income is a direct reflection of whether or not you’re living your purpose, is to ignore your own soul completely and to buy into a false understanding of what it means to live your greatness.

Assigning Value to a Soul
The notion that the size of your income is a direct reflection of being true to your soul’s intentions is based on assigning a VALUE to SOUL. Let’s go ahead and do that. What is the dollar amount your soul is worth when it is fully expressing? Is it $50 an hour? $450 an hour? Is it 400K a year? 5 million? Since we are pieces of God’s own Soul, perhaps it would help to consider the value of God’s handiwork. What is God’s value? How much is s/he worth? If God were to demand an annual salary for maintaining and sustaining the Universe, what would that come to? What amount should be awarded to God for having created the Universe? And since God has been working for an eternity, what is s/he retroactively owed, including interest and those well-deserved bonuses?

It’s impossible to answer these questions. We can see how ridiculous it is to try to assign value to your soul or its purpose. On the other hand, I believe that we can, with complete conviction, state that when we’re aligned with our soul intentions, we are as powerful as God. Because God is in all of us, we are all uniquely qualified to express his/her purpose. How we give expression to God-in-us is inevitably sacred and holy. How can we judge the value of what is sacred and divine? Acts of service to others are acts of service to God. And if these are all worthy before God, how do we begin to define what a life of greatness looks like?

Maybe your soul purpose is to make money, or maybe your soul purpose will have the outcome of making money, but don’t assume that making a buck is the soul’s primary purpose for being in a physical vehicle. What is most important is that you create a life that satisfies your soul, provides you with a sense of genuine accomplishment, and makes you happy. That life may be quiet and obscure or in front of thousands, or even millions. The goal is to allow your soul to step forth and express its uniqueness. That uniqueness includes the style, manner, and size with which it communicates. Soul intentions are not tied to the material world, though they will inevitably express themselves within it. The soul is not about hierarchy or ego or competition. The soul is about sharing, about giving and receiving. It is about coming from love and being fully present in love.

Be Present to the Moment
Focus on being present in the moment – to yourself, to your guides and Higher Self, to those around you, and to the Earth and all her inhabitants. When you are present, you are in tune with all that is, and can far more readily act in alignment with your dharma and be available to respond to the needs of the moment. When you are fully present, connected with your Higher Self, and consciously following your guidance, you are being true to your soul’s purpose. Deep satisfaction comes from the benefit to others of the natural flow of your gifts. When you are in flow, you can see your purpose in action. When you are expressing your soul, you have found your true identity, and there is no longer any reason to compare yourself to others or to pursue activities that do not fulfill you. At this point, you are present in your life and fully engaged, and your very presence uplifts others simply by being yourself.

Follow your true nature to find out what size life is right for you. Congruency is attained when who you are, what you say, and what you do are in alignment. When you are aligned in thought, word, and deed, you have mastered how you direct your energy. When you have mastered how you direct your energy, you can fully manifest who you are in the world. You are powerful.

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ARE YOU LIVING LIFE TOO SMALL?

These days I hear a great deal about living life too small. I have come across it again and again, mostly from the plethora of coaches and mentors for those seeking to find their purpose. The question, “Are you living your life too small?” has impressed me at times as almost accusatory, as if we may not be doing everything we can to be the best we can be, and perhaps even hints that if we are living a small life we are not living our purpose. The not-so-embedded implication is that if a life is small, then it has lesser value than a life that is big and attention-getting. It might also be implied that you are lazy or lack drive and focus. If we accept as a truth that life can be lived too small then we must find ways to make life bigger!

We live in a culture that values, with perhaps the exception of body size, more and bigger over lesser and smaller. Stronger and flashier is definitely better. Power over many is regarded highly, and revered – as well as – feared. Be that as it may, the word on the street is if you’re not making a six figure income from your God-given talents, then you may not be living your life purpose, and you’re likely living life too small.

A life lived small is conventionally characterized by its lack of notable achievement. A small life may (or may not) be dazzlingly creative or well-funded, and the thinking is that it probably doesn’t contribute much to the advancement of the person or society – because – well, it’s small. A big life is pretty much identified via status, visibility, ample financial resources and a significant following. It requires focus, drive, and continual marketing. While it may not be exactly restful, I’ve been told that living your life in this dynamic state is exciting and exhilarating. There will definitely be challenges along the way – issues of self-doubt will come up and those nagging false beliefs that you aren’t worthy — but if you can stay the course despite the challenges of seeking your greatness, then go for it.

On the other hand, you may not have any desire to pursue greatness. Then what? A question that comes to mind for me is – despite its bad press – is a small life nevertheless capable of giving expression to its dharma? And how does a person measure whether or not they are living their life in just the right size?

Perhaps the answer is found in the identification of your soul intentions. I believe that your yearnings assist with identifying your soul intentions. Some examples of yearnings include: a yearning for strength, a yearning for love, a yearning for beauty, a yearning for achievement, a yearning for creativity, a yearning for adventure, a yearning for structure, a yearning to fit in, a yearning to be different, a yearning to be of service, among so many other yearnings.

Your yearnings are very useful pieces of information. It’s important to know what will give you emotional satisfaction. If you want to be happy, you’ve got to tune into your yearnings and follow them. I believe that if you follow your yearnings and also allow for their expression, they will, because they demand a certain kind of focus and experience, lead directly to your appropriate way of being (or expressing) in the world. In fact, whether or not you are conscious that you carry an internal agenda for your life, you will connect more and more to your soul intentions as an inevitable act of following your yearnings (or bliss).

If you follow your yearnings, then you may find yourself shaping a right-sized life in sync with your soul intentions. When you follow your authentic yearnings, the shape and size of your life will gradually come into congruence with your soul intentions. The size of your life is completely unique to you and will be found by following your heart; in each moment act on what calls to you. As you consistently do what feels right, you will find that you are living out your soul intentions or your life purpose – in all its appropriate dimensions, and in all its greatness.

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