BRINGING YOUR DESIGN TO LIGHT

Think of these intentions as written on a giant “canvas” nurtured inside the boundless consciousness of the Universe which can never be captured by a single interpretative modality or combination of modalities. The breadth of that evolutionary field does not appear to have an end, and its beginnings are enveloped in mystery.

Twin charts, and the charts of triplets and quintuplets, are great ways to deepen our understanding of how Human Design functions in the real-time, real lives of human beings. This is because of the fascinating phenomenon that no two charts of the same birth date, time, and place will ever express in the same ways. Why is that? Keep reading!

Our Design describes how our energy is meant to flow. It shows us our best tools for applying our energy, choosing appropriately, where our greatest strengths are, and what we will be drawn to. The direction in which our energy flows is intended to show us where and how to carry out our life plan and soul purpose. That is because our energy naturally flows towards what we are supposed to be doing, being, and learning.

Our Design energies express through our creativity, how we relate to others, how we find our place in the world, the kinds of vocations that interest us, and how we find meaning and fulfillment. In other words, our Design is the map of the path that will lead to the highest expression of our purpose. Above all, your Design is intended to serve your continuing evolution.

But the Chart is not the Soul.  Your Human Design is not your Soul.

Although the themes of twin charts, fraternal or identical, are the same, they will be expressed differently through each twin. All of us are born with our own agenda, or soul contract. In addition, we are all impacted by multiple influences besides our Human Design. Our psychology, astrology, numerology, sociology, genetics, and upbringing, are just a few of the additional influences you bring to your Human Design. Even twins raised in the same family will not have the same perceptions or experiences. Understand also that each part of the Human Design chart has a significant range for how it can express, from lower (reactive, lacking self-awareness) to higher (awareness of why the self has particular responses, and also how acting on those affects the well-being of self and others), as well as an assortment of ways from which each part’s attributes can express. Every person chooses, with awareness or not, how they will express their Design.

Most importantly, we each have a unique soul trajectory that describes where we’ve been and who we’ve been, including how we have treated others, how others have treated us, and how we may have impacted collective history, for good or ill.

Our soul history affects the purpose and direction of our current lives. In other words, the dharma, or life purpose which we incarnated to express and explore, and the karma we came to restore, is influenced by our previous lives. Karma is inevitable, as all actions must be brought to balance. Dharma is necessarily woven into the fabric of our lives. This is because the direction of the Universe evolves towards higher consciousness. Higher consciousness is about unity; it is not about exclusion. Exclusion always results in imbalance, inequity, suffering, and the continuing creation of karma. The agreements or soul contracts we’ve made assist us to connect to our dharma and bring us to the karmas that seek resolution. 

Your life is part of an unimaginably complex tapestry woven into the much larger intentions of an evolutionary field that spans the personal to the collective and beyond. Think of these intentions as written on a giant “canvas” nurtured inside the incomprehensibly boundless consciousness of the Universe. That consciousness can never be captured by a single interpretative modality or combination of modalities. The breadth of that evolutionary field does not appear to be measurable and its beginnings are enveloped in mystery.

The bottom line with how any Design will express has everything to do with the Soul that took it on for that lifetime. Again, souls are at different stages in their evolution — we have different histories; some longer, some shorter. Some of us are younger souls; some are older. All of these influence the unique goals (dharma) and different obligations (karma) for your life. As you become more aware of who you are and what you came here to do, your discernment about what choices are correct for you also increases.  

These reasons, although not comprehensive, are why someone who has the same exact Design as you will, by the time they reach maturity, have a life that looks very different from yours.

What does this mean for the value of Human Design as a tool for self-discovery?

Because different people can be born with the same chart, does it render our Design meaningless? Does it mean that we can’t use our Human Design to identify our uniqueness and our purpose and use it to help us anchor into that purpose? Of course not.

You are the one who brings your Design to life.

Your Design already gives you a great deal of information. It will point you in the direction that you should go. Then it is up to you, as the unique individual soul who is “wearing” that Design, to bring it to light in the way that only you (your soul) intended. You are far more than your Human Design, but you are going to use that Design to find YOUR path and YOUR purpose.

Think of these intentions as written on a giant “canvas” nurtured inside the boundless consciousness of the Universe which can never be captured by a single interpretative modality or combination of modalities. The breadth of that evolutionary field does not appear to have an end, and its beginnings are enveloped in mystery. Even if you don’t believe that the Soul creates intentions, or that your soul has a trajectory comprised of previous lives, you will nevertheless be compelled to live your life by virtue of the yearnings that are unique to you and that drive you to create an authentic life.

I leave you with this: follow your Soul’s (or your authentic) intentions because therein lies the direction for your life.

~*~*~*~*~*

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FALL EQUINOX 2019 THROUGH THE LENS OF ASTROLOGY AND HUMAN DESIGN: A TIME TO REMEMBER AND TO COMMIT

Fall is a season of remembering. We are reminded that life is always moving forward, that everything changes, and that we cannot hold on to anything forever. Our memories of what once was are now especially poignant. If it is nothing else, Fall is the time to remember that we cannot take anything for granted.

The Meaning of the Season

When I think of Fall, I think of brilliant golds and reds, of falling leaves, and bright orange pumpkins. I think about how far I’ve come, what I’ve lost, what I’m letting go of, and what I am welcoming in.

In the Northern hemisphere, we are harvesting. We are reaping what we planted, both recently, and long ago. Some of it is good and wonderful; some of it, not so much.

Fall is a Season of remembering. We are reminded that life is always moving forward, that everything changes, and that we cannot hold on to anything forever. Our memories of what once was are now especially poignant. If it is nothing else, Fall is the time to remember that we cannot take anything for granted. What we hold most dear will some day leave us, and this is all the more reason to extend our love and appreciation to who and what matters to us most. And to remember to do that often.

This is the Season where we cross the threshold into the darkening of the light. The symbolism is that of deepening; we are actually moving into a more profound aspect of our psychospiritual selves. The Season of Fall always encourages us to go within, to reflect on what we truly value, and to remember the dreams we put aside because we didn’t have time for them, or because they didn’t fit into the flow of our lives. But we still dreamed them, and they were precious. We dreamed them then, and they still live within us. Perhaps now is the time for them to be born.

The Astrology of Fall Equinox 2019: the Significance of the Time of Day, the Moon, and Saturn

Time of Day. Fall came into our lives when the Sun entered Libra at 1:51 AM Mountain Time. Let’s take a look at the remarkable symbolism of this hour of the day and its seamless connection to the meaning of Fall. This is the hour when the village is dark and most of us are asleep with our family around us. It is about loyalty to family; it is about devotion to our tribe and making sure our communities are insulated from the dangers of the night. It is also the time when we can forget our problems and place our trust in something greater than ourselves. It is the most mystical time of the night, and it naturally invites us to connect with Spirit, with what we long for, and with what we can still make of our lives. In other words, it is a time for dreaming and growing our dreams.

The Moon. The Astrology of 1:51 AM Mountain Time (and adjusted for other zones) places the Moon in a sector that supports the full expression of the qualities the Moon is best known for! The Moon’s placement in the 1st sector of the 4th quadrant (translated as the 12th house) emphasizes the need for romance and connection. This is a placement that is hungry for meaning and significance, and for connection to others, most especially companionship. There is a longing to return to simpler ways and a simpler life. This is the time to let go of what we do not need anymore – and this pertains as much to the clutter of things, of places and persons – as it does to our attachments to what does not support our well-being.

This is a time when we will be more vulnerable and sensitive. It is the Moon, after all, and it is inevitable we will feel this way. Now it is easier to have a heart-opening so that we can let go of what needs to go, and to accept what is. This is not to say that it won’t hurt, but we have the opportunity this season to deepen our self-knowledge and appreciation of who we are, to remember our mission, and to deepen our connection to those who continue to walk beside us. Darker emotional undercurrents come to the surface, and we can offer them up to be healed. This is a season that also supports the deepening of intimacy as we let go of what is not our truth.

Saturn. Before I leave this discussion on what I see as the salient astrological factors for this season, I want to point out that the Fall Equinox Saturn is stationary. This factor occurs when Saturn is traveling between the speeds of 0.008 and -0.008 degrees per day. We might think of a stationary planet as one who has stopped its journey to witness, with special interest, the lives and events of a unique time and place. There is something both mystical and parental about a stationary planet. With Saturn, the theme is responsibility.

Saturn has 82 confirmed moons; this is a symbol of tremendous responsibility, and with stationary Saturn, we are not talking about the simple kind of responsibility which can be taken care of by doing things like paying your bills and working hard at your job. Those things are part of it to be sure, and if you ignore them, there will be consequences. But the main interest of stationary Saturn is whether you’re taking responsibility for what is yours to take care of. It’s important to pay your rent, but if you pay your rent and neglect your kids, your pets, and your commitments, you dishonor Saturn. You break the agreement of what it means to be a human being in a society of other human beings. When Saturn is stationary, the realm of responsibility has broadened. You can’t just slide by merely following the letter of the law. You are also accountable for the spirit of the law.

The Human Design Chart for Fall Equinox 2019

To my amazement and delight, this Fall Equinox has the chart of a Reflector, the rarest of the Human Design types. To thrive and to fulfill their purpose, Reflectors must live in their right village among their right people. The environment has to feel good and be balanced for a Reflector to feel good and to thrive. If the Reflector is thriving and vital, they can fully express their skills, insights, and knowledge, thus contributing to the vitality of the village. If the Reflector is not thriving, their life reflects back to the village a mirror that is shadowed with illness. If the village is paying attention, it is alerted to an imbalance that must be addressed.

I have expressed this relationship between the Reflector and their community in a somewhat abstract way, but the connection between an individual who reflects what will not support well-being and life, and the ultimate consequences for a community that fails to respond, is illustrated magnificently by Greta Thunberg’s scathing speech of September 23, 2019 (Fall Equinox) to the U.N.

Interestingly, the Reflector’s fundamental needs are in sync with the symbolism of the time of day that we entered this year’s Fall. The hours between midnight and sunrise are the time of sleep and dreams, but most especially, at this hour we are traditionally with our people, huddled together for warmth and safety. In this coming together, besides experiencing a strong sense of safety, we also have identity and belonging. The needs of this Fall are the same as the needs of the Reflector for the elements of right community, connection, intimacy, and place. This is the season to focus on shoring up these life-sustaining structures, for like the Reflector, without them, we lose our sense of self and purpose, both as individuals and as communities, and our lives become that much harder.

The 2/5 Profile. Many of us prefer to live our lives in quiet isolation for that is where we experience our deepest peace. Inside relaxation and silence, we can explore, without interruption, our creativity and musings. The profile (how you learn and how you interact with the world) for the Fall Equinox 2019 chart is the 2/5, the Hermit Heretic. This profile is about the need to retreat to aloneness to find one’s inner guidance, and to integrate what we have gathered. There is a need in the 2/5 profile to intentionally build in alone time for that is where regeneration and centering occurs.

However, there is a flip side at work. Although both the line 2 and the line 5 have a need to hide, the line 2 gets called out by their community because they ultimately need to share what they learned in private, though they may not realize this is what’s happening, and line 5 cannot help but be noticed because of its built-in irresistible magnetism! Line 5 has an energetic vortex that pulls others to it, regardless of the Line 5’s availability in the moment. The seductiveness of the line 5 comes from the ‘telegraphed’ promise that it can deliver what you need. This is projection, of course, and the line 5 can also project in turn. What is really happening here is a mysterious process that has no formal articulation, and takes place beyond everyone’s consciousness, but that only line 5 is designed to engage. The line 5 has a purpose of alchemizing what we think we know, transmuting and synthesizing it in such a way that information and techniques are taken to a higher level that is then capable of serving the needs of universal knowledge. And this Fall season is brimming with alchemical energy and the invitation to go within and return with a new story about what’s possible.

The theme of withdrawing to dream and reconnect with ourselves that we have thus far seen in this Fall’s astrology and human design charts is repeated in the 2/5 profile of the Fall Equinox human design chart. What is expressed here are the personal integration of acquired knowledge through a quiet deepening process, so that our dreams can ultimately be given practical foundations from which they can be launched. As well, we gain an understanding of our deeper need to stay connected to others, for both practical and personal reasons. This is not just about socializing, but about the sustainability of our families and communities, and ultimately, human civilization.

The Cross of the Vessel of Love.  Each Human Design chart has an Incarnation Cross, made up of the Personality (Conscious) Earth and Sun, and the Design (Unconscious) Earth and Sun. Each of these four planets occupy a gate and a line. The unique configuration of the Conscious and Unconscious Sun and Earth placements creates a specific cross, a cross that speaks to your purpose. This Fall Equinox has the Incarnation Cross of the Vessel of Love.

As such, a specific purpose of this Fall season, as revealed in its 2019 Human Design, is to express love. The four gates of Cross of the Vessel of Love are the 46, the 25, the 15, and the 10. In the 46 we have the love and appreciation of being in a human body so that we can give our spiritual purpose viable form and manifestation; in the 25 we remember that the reason we do anything is because of our reverence for, and gratitude to, Source; in the 15, we remember our need for connection to community, and in the 10, we remember to love ourselves, so that we are always empowered to bring through our highest spiritual expression through our actions, and how we live our lives each day.

A summary of this Incarnation Cross: because this season we have special access to the energy of love, we are able to be its messenger and activist. This season we are especially empowered to wield the power of love to shatter what does not support life, to heal, and to restore balance in all the places that need them. We begin, of course, with tending first to our wounds, and to what needs to be loved in us by us.

This Fall we seek to deepen connection and companionship, and we seek to bring our dreams into reality. We continue to dream, and to reach for what’s possible for us. We will review and revise, and perhaps even invent, the infrastructures that will ensure sustainability and thriving for our communities. We do these things because we are in touch with our deeper feelings and our deeper truths. We do these things because we remember that we are here only for a time, and so everything is that much more precious.  We are open to the novel and the unexpected in solutions. We do what we do because we care, and because we believe in the power of love for one another.

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HONORING WHERE YOU ARE

It is important to honor what aligns with you and to follow what feels right. Even if it doesn’t inspire anyone. What is important is for you to honor your energy.

What do you need to have your life be like at this time?

Feel into what that feels like.

Is it OK for you to be where you are right now?

It is important to honor what aligns with you and to follow what feels right. Even if it doesn’t inspire anyone! What is important is for you to honor your energy. Where you need to be right now is not where you will stay. The most critical thing for you is to be honest about what you need at this time and what you need to let go of. It is really all right to let go of the pressure to make something happen. It is necessary. When we push and nothing changes, there is information here for you. What you are doing is not correct for you at this time.

First things first: take the time to check in with yourself. Are you feeling emotionally and physically nourished? Are you feeling well-rested?

It is paramount for you to stay in touch with the flow of your energy. When we push, we lose power. We lose our ability to discern what is correct for us. When we push, we are out of alignment with ourselves and what we need to sustain ourselves. When we push, we lose connection to our center and our self-awareness. In this state, it is hard to tell if what we are doing is helping us get to where we want to go and giving us what we need. Worse case, we start to feel afraid that we are losing our grip on life, on our ability to remain in control.

Sometimes it is time to just stop, to retreat, rest, and renew. When you no longer feel joy and excitement, when you are out of ideas or can no longer get behind the ones you had, it is time to re-evaluate what you are doing and how you are doing it. Perhaps it is not so much that what you are doing is not correct for you, as it is a matter of timing and the availability of your energy.

Only you know how long you need to be in retreat and what will rejuvenate you.  Retreating does not mean that you stop paying your bills. Do what you must to keep yourself together and do not take on any more. Please do not pressure yourself to be amazing or believe that you must do something right now to turn things around, ignoring the fact that you have been spinning your wheels for some time.

Your right plan of action will reveal itself when your vitality is restored and available to you. Your ideas and creativity will flow again.

We must always be our own advocates and allies; we are the highest authority for what is true for us at any time. Only you know what it feels like to be you and what you need. Find the pace that works for you at any given moment. It will shift from time to time and from project to project. Remember that how you do things and how fast you do them is unique to you and is influenced by how your energy naturally flows. You are not supposed to look like anyone else’s success or keep up with anyone else.

Please honor how you do things, and how you need to do them. You have a rhythm that is unique to you. How your energy flows is unique to you. It takes time and trial and error to truly know ourselves. Be patient with your process of discovering how you work and what works best for you. You will eventually find your personal rhythm of sustainability. You want to be in the flow that is your unique rhythm because this is where you feel good and where you are the most creative and productive. It is here that you are also at your most magnetic and radiant.

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THE JOB OF CONSCIOUSNESS

THE JOB OF CONSCIOUSNESS IS EVOLUTION. Its motivation is curiosity and desire. Its end goal is unity. Its product is agape, or universal love. A manifest aspect of evolving consciousness is just around the corner in the form of the Solar Plexus Mutation. It is said that the Mutation of the Human Design BodyGraph will be complete in 2027. This new platform will challenge everyone to gradually let go of old paradigms and embrace new values – values that honor everyone’s right to the tree of life. That includes all living beings! Even though we are some time out from this shift, we can see and feel the beginning of the changes it will bring:

• the nature of how we bond and mate will change
• how we share resources will change
• the emotional wave will be steadier so that we are not so subject to extreme highs and lows
• we will not operate from fear-based intuition; we will do what we feel/ know is the right thing to do
• we will actively seek peace
• we will actively find ways to bring peace
• our relationship to the animal kingdom will change, moving towards compassion and honoring their rights as living beings
• business values will change; the emphasis will not be so much about profit as about meeting real needs. This is a major shift in values.

This shift in the Human Design BodyGraph will have universal impact. Collective consciousness will gradually recalibrate its focus because the energetic platform that the material plane sits on will have changed. It doesn’t mean that people will all of sudden behave civilly and want the best for everyone — but the new energetic platform will be in place, and it will be compelling. It means that humanity will be more supported than ever to get on with the business of rebuilding civilization. We can look forward to the day when everyone’s needs are met. As we know, meeting basic human needs is paramount to establishing abundance. Meeting basic human needs is paramount to creating peace, joy, and acceptance. Personal creativity and global problem-solving will increase by leaps and bounds: the truth is that Universal Consciousness recognizes that we only exist in relation to others, and that others are part of our existence. When we actively work from this truth, we will manifest our highest potential as human beings.

Copyright © 2019 – present | Gloria Constantin | All Rights Reserved |

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NAVIGATING YOUR CALLING

Navigating your calling is often fraught with challenges. And that’s not just because we’re not always clear on how to make the correct choices, but also because we live in a world filled with other people’s intentions and actions. These can definitely affect us, and their impact is not always intended to be a lesson meant specifically for us, if it is even a lesson.

Nevertheless, we can learn from everything that happens. If we are willing to stay open and curious, and we ask for help, we can become skillful at navigating broken bridges. I am not convinced that every unexpected event that comes knocking was intended, or was needed for us to evolve, but while we can’t always tell the difference between karmic payback, accidents, or lessons we purposely designed, we still have to manage what shows up while continuing to care for the infrastructure of our lives. We still have to manage the unexpected while following our calling, and we still have to maintain accountability to ourselves, our jobs, family, friends, and to current commitments and ongoing transactions.  Trust that forces larger than yourself are working hard on your behalf.

It is often easier to fulfill your soul intentions for your INNER life — what you are passionately drawn to, what stimulates your creativity, what pulls you with the force of a giant magnet — because these serve your evolution, and because this is who you are and you can’t help yourself. When you feel compelled to move towards something, it is often because that situation aligns vibrationally with your soul’s overarching purpose. Our inner life — what we choose to read, study, make hobbies from, develop real skills in — is often more successful in achieving its original goals. That’s because these things are self-directed and don’t need other people for their fulfillment in the same way a professional career does. Because we are able to fulfill part of our purpose and meet some of our yearnings through an active inner life, we can still have a lot of joy. Fulfilling the needs of our inner life can make up for a lot that doesn’t happen for us in the outer world.

Fulfilling our “outer” lives through our professional and vocational intentions is often highly dependent on the honoring of previously established agreements. Important agreements are put in place prior to our incarnation, but some are made subsequently to further expand the original agenda, or as back-ups to failed primary agreements. If you enter into an agreement — it could be a business partnership, a decision to date exclusively and be monogamous, take a job where your employer has agreed to pay you a certain salary, sign a lease, be in a certain location by a date certain to meet — and these agreements are then broken by the other party, the goals you were aiming for are delayed. Then you have to rely on your resourcefulness to find other pieces that will fill in the gaps. Some goals can even become unattainable when they were dependent on a specific agreement. The loss of important agreements can make it more difficult to manifest your plans as they were originally conceived. With increased losses, we can find ourselves living ‘ad hoc’ lives, making things up as we go, and using what’s available to make our lives as agreeable and meaningful as possible, and to make up for having ‘missed the boat.’

Even if you have a sense that your plans have strayed far from their original intentions, don’t despair and don’t give up. Your soul is a very potent force, and will find ways to make new pathways for manifesting its agenda to the greatest extent possible. However, the elements that come together to assist your intentions may look very different from what was planned. The timing of things can also be quite different, often occurring at later dates, and sometimes years later. Still, because you were created intentionally, with purpose, and that purpose is sacred to both the fulfillment of your intentions and the connections you planned, the force that drives their fulfillment is not easily daunted. Despite delays and the unexpected, your soul will strive to create the experiences you were meant to have.

Although the manifestation of these experiences may be smaller in scale, and although not all of your original plans will come into being when core agreements are broken, you can trust that there are forces larger than yourself working hard on your behalf. Your job, when you are on permanent detour, is to surrender to the tides of change that have altered the course of your life. Though you had not planned on certain destinations, it is important to enjoy the journey and the scenery; your life will be easier this way. Rather than rejecting the course change, allow your imagination to be stimulated by the unexpected. If you yield to the new set(s) of coordinates without resistance, and continue to follow what calls you, there’s no telling what you  can still accomplish.

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FOLLOW WHAT FULFILLS TO FIND YOUR PURPOSE

Following your fulfillment is what will result in finding your purpose. I use the word fulfillment deliberately, as opposed to the word success. Success is too often associated with social status, with money, and with power. While we might be able to sustain “success” for a time, it will be abrasive and draining if we are trying to be someone we are not designed to be.

It’s not hard to identify the tracks that will lead to a purpose-filled life that also fulfills YOU — follow your bliss, follow your curiosity, follow what calls to you, and keep following that. You will always come to forks in the road, and if you keep following your curiosity, you will know where your next turn is. The forks in the road force us to stay true to ourselves. They force us to be honest about what is truly correct for us. Even when we do take a wrong turn, no experiences are wasted because it is all useful information.

Some things you will visit or study for a short time, and others you will major in. But if you follow your excitement, your interests, and your passions — in every moment you will be living your purpose, and gathering the specific information you need to keep growing.

Purpose is found in your experiences of the moment, in expression as well action, and it is not just one thing. Purpose is not defined as an end-goal or a product launch. Your purpose evolves over the course of your life as you expand in self-awareness.

While purpose can be expressed through a particular vocation or vocations, the vocation actually provides the CONTEXT for the expression of one’s purpose. In and of itself, a vocation is not your purpose per se, even though some vocations will be beautifully aligned with your purpose.

Think about your purpose as a living and ceaseless dynamic of pursuing your excitement and curiosity — which always includes following your heart — rather than as something that is easily contained or defined by a business suit, scrubs, a gavel, a hard hat, an advanced degree, and so forth. The reason is: purpose is ultimately about finding and staying connected to all those things that will support the continued expansion of your consciousness and your joy. And this has no ending.

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RESILIENCY IN TOUGH TIMES: BREAKING THROUGH DESPAIR

Father Mother God, Creator of all beings —

Unparalleled Lover from Whom emanates the boundless capacity for love
and for eternal care;
from Whom issues all balms to soothe and heal all wounds,
Who has known and suffered through us and with us all wounds that are possible –
that have ever been –
and Who has received these many hurts into His-Her Heart, speaking peace to them
holding them
caressing them
acknowledging them
accepting them
feeling their pain with them
suffering the deepest of nameless agonies with them.
Offering them up and into His-Heart to be healed.

Father Mother God, Creator of all beings, release us to our deeper truths,
and to our highest, most majestic expression of all that is good, and right, and beautiful.

In the name of Father Mother God, we pray that all that is wounded is healed, now and forever.  Amen.   ~ Gloria Constantin

I. The Unexpected is Normal

We don’t like to think about it, and we may not want to accept it – but we live with the unexpected – every day. The unexpected is regularly woven into the routines of our organized lives. It appears, again and again, inserting itself into our spreadsheets and carefully maintained portfolios. And just as the unexpected reminds us that we cannot escape the cycles of chaos, the weather or the seasons, it also reminds us that change is an inescapable fact of life. We are only fooling ourselves if we think otherwise.

What is resiliency? It is the ability to recover. From deep fatigue, from loss, from disappointment, from change, from shock, from trauma. From having your life inverted and turned upside-down without your permission. There are many things to recover from as we move through our lives. Not all of them are equal in intensity, but they all require that we adapt.

Again, resiliency is the capacity to come back from despair and vulnerability and still embrace life and move forward. We need the willingness to accept change, to surrender to the unknown, and be willing to meet the demands of change if we are going to allow resiliency to flow through our lives.

But how do we get there?

II. Situations and circumstances that lead to the need for resiliency

When you’ve lost your job, your spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend, your house, your child, your beloved pet, when you’ve been forcibly and permanently separated from who you loved and what you need to live, the grief and shock can be overwhelming. When we no longer have the support systems of financial flow, shelter, and/or we’ve lost persons and pets who provided us with emotional connection and support, we’re not having a debate with despair, loneliness, or terror – we are those things.

When change comes, particularly change that overturns our well-laid plans and cracks the foundations on which we built them, we never fail to feel betrayed. Or victimized. Or outraged. Or wonder whose fault it is and where to place the blame. Or perhaps wonder what the heck karma is still dogging us, demanding payback. Then we give in to our suspicion that the universe is a rigged system and always has been.  Sometimes the system benefits you, and sometimes you’re just irrelevant.  If causes always had effects that were clear-cut and logical, and we knew that taking certain actions always led to specific results, life would be much simpler.  And kinder.  

Change can be so huge and so irrevocable that we don’t have a clue how to begin to rebuild. And looking at the blasted wasteland of what was our life, it doesn’t appear that we can rebuild. We have neither energy nor resources.

So what now? How do we navigate something that we have no precedent for? How can we wake up each day and still choose to move forward?

III. So who am I to talk about finding resiliency when the going gets really, really tough?

A few brief highlights

My parents were immigrants. My mother was born and raised in Ceiba, Puerto Rico. Her mother died when she was barely adolescent, and she stayed home to raise her 12 siblings. Years later, she joined her sister in the Bronx. After permanently leaving Havana, Cuba, my father walked from Florida all the way to the Bronx, New York City. He slept on park benches and ate out of garbage cans, but this was nothing new for him. His mother, the only person who ever cared for him, died when he was very young, leaving him to be starved and beaten by his father, and mistreated by his cruel step-brothers. He was not sent to school. He ran away from his home, which was not much more than a shack with a dirt floor, and became a child laborer under brutal conditions. After he became a father and husband, he revisited on his family the abuse and neglect he had suffered.

This is the legacy and the reality I inherited, and it affected how I perceived the world and how I perceived my value. I grew up in the South Bronx, where the tenements had been abandoned by landlords to poverty and crime. The inhabitants of that time and place were powerless in nearly every way a human being can be powerless. Most were on welfare; those that were not worked at jobs that paid very little; most were victims of domestic violence.  Most had only a rudimentary education. They did not know how to find help or stand up for themselves. I grew up in a South Bronx where there was constant gang warfare. Homeless and abandoned cats and dogs faced agonizing deaths from starvation and cruelty. 

Years later, disconnected and steeped in naïveté, I lost my best friend and the truest ally I’ve ever known — to this day.  This loss has been an irretrievable thorn in my heart that reminds me every day to never, ever, ever take another human being for granted.  

After an unexpected physical breakdown in 2008 — the meniscus in both of my knees mysteriously ripped to shreds and I was in a wheelchair for months — I lost a really good job that I had managed to hold on to for 8 years.  I did not find another until 9 months later.  Towards the end of 2010, I lost that job when the company moved its offices. I was unemployed for a period that turned out to be 14 months long. Also in 2010, the guy that I was nearly engaged to went on a trip to Ireland and never returned, having decided to focus his affections elsewhere.  Over the course of 14 months I applied to over 300 jobs, all of which I could reasonably fulfill — at least from the description. Out of those 300+ applications, I landed two interviews. The first did not result in a job offer, but the second was successful and I obtained a position in a law firm. As it turned out, the advertised job description and the actual job duties bore no resemblance. The downgrade in job duties was not to my liking or a benefit to my resume, but after 14 months of diminishing resources, I was grateful for what I had.

At the end of a little over a year I was laid off, ostensibly due to the firm’s economic restructuring. It was the last “official” job I had. Three of my precious cats had died within the last year and a half. I lost my Colorado home of 31 years, and left Colorado’s unique beauty. I left behind family, friends, and contacts; beloved parks and lakes, and my secret, treasured places. I was numb with shock and fatigued at a depth I was not even aware of. The impact to my body in the form of an aggressive autoimmune condition gradually unfolded.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For five years I lived in a city that broke my heart every day. I was a foreigner here; a stranger not to be trusted.  This city was ugly to me, devoid of beauty and kindness, and the stench of the ubiquitous dumpsters with their open lids and spilled garbage, and the poverty, the unemployment, the crime, the homelessness of people and the abandoned pets, overwhelmed me with sorrow.  For nearly every day of those five years I sobbed out loud as I stood in the filthy arroyo where I had set up my feline rescue feeding stations, stations that were repeatedly destroyed and that I repeatedly rebuilt, refusing to give up on my mission to rehabilitate and re-home these precious discarded beings. I yelled at my guides and I demanded that the feline devas do their part to protect their own. I eventually realized that they were protecting their own — through me.  There wasn’t going to be any more help.

How could I have come to this, to these circumstances, to this life after my years in beautiful Boulder, Colorado?  I frequently recalled the dangers, the poverty, and helplessness of my childhood in the South Bronx.  My long journey to what I believed was my final safe haven did not end with that haven.  But I had always known that my fortune was tenuous and fragile, completely dependent on the linchpin of continued employment.  When that pin got pulled for the last time, a cascade of consequences, like an avalanche, buried me.   

IV. Going deeper into the experience of shock and loss

When we experience what we do not choose, we feel powerless. Angry. Betrayed. Then we wonder, did I ask for this? Or maybe: I deserve this – I’ve been bad; it’s my karma catching up to me.  If that’s the case, please show me what I need to do to restore equilibrium.  Failing that guidance, perhaps I consider laying down to die, because there’s nothing I can do. 

In the 2000 film Cast Away which starred Tom Hanks, the protagonist Chuck Noland is faced with a deep survival crisis when he finds himself stranded on an uninhabited island after his airplane crashes into the South Pacific. At the time of the incident, Chuck is a federal express employee with an established life. He has a girlfriend who he plans to marry, and his network of co-workers, family, and friends, are solidly in place. Suddenly he is cast into utter isolation, cut off from his loved ones, and completely dependent on his personal resources to survive. Whether or not there was a higher force that guided the protagonist to the island shore, he still had a choice to make. He could continue living, find a way to survive on the island, or he could make an exit.

Although the horrific experience of ripping Chuck out of his life was not planned, he was nonetheless confronted with the urgency to do something about it if he wanted to live. He was being asked, should he choose to do so, to continue the act of his own creation by creating his life without the support of community, peers, or comfort. He was on his own, absolutely and irrevocably. If he was to live, he had to become the Creator and stand in the shoes of God. He ultimately chose to fight for his life, but there was no way he could know that this period of his life would last an eternity of four years.

When we find ourselves stranded and isolated, we are always faced with the choice to give up or to fight for our lives, applying everything we are to unfamiliar and hostile territory. Isolation and limited resources are superlatively daunting circumstances and they can pulverize the faint-hearted OR catalyze your courage to reach for new life. It doesn’t matter that you have no clue what that life will now look like, or how you make it happen. What matters is that you have chosen to live.

V. What makes the difference between giving up and persevering despite the odds?

A deeper look at what’s really happening when you’ve lost it all

When you’ve been stripped of everything you relied on for support, you are in the space between the stories of your life. This is the Liminal Zone, a place that’s neither here nor there. In a very real spiritual sense, you are neither dead nor alive. When we’re in that space, we don’t know if we will ever get back to our former life, to our worn but comfortable story, or if we will get back at all.  If we do, it will be with a new identity and a new story. And therein lays the invitation of the Liminal Zone.  It is here, at the threshold of the terrifying unknowable, that we have the opportunity to be reborn.

Stamina must be at the foundation of our lives. It’s not only a physical attribute, but a mental one as well. As our world changes, we must adapt. We must press on, ever optimistic that we will rebuild our lives. Stamina is grit and hope and idealism, all rolled into one.

There you have it.  The story of your life as you knew it is over. Your old familiar comfort zone is gone, but there is the opportunity to make a new one.

When you’re in the Liminal Zone, without a story and without an identity, time is experienced differently.  In a sense, there is no time. There is no schedule that tells how long it will take you to break the trails that will get you back to your new home.  But if you choose to live, you will create a new story, and a new life.  It can take weeks, or months, or years.  Forget about your old track record.  It doesn’t work here. Your body and your will are the gifts and tools that will keep you going.

Do not underestimate what this will ask of you. As long as there is an option to comfortably make an exit, the likelihood is great that many will take that exit.  But the choice is really between these two things: taking on the terrors of the unknown or giving up despite knowing that you just might live. This is the gift of the Liminal Zone – comfort may be hard to come by while you’re in it, but you are nevertheless offered the possibility of a new life.

Now you must put yourself back together, acquire a new body, a new identity, and a new story.

VI. How do you navigate all this?

We seek out those things that encourage and develop emotional resilience. There are things we can do to develop resiliency. Some of it will arise naturally because your body wants to live.

IDEAS AND TOOLS TO GET YOUR RESILIENCY KICK-STARTED:

 • You cannot define yourself by your losses.  

 • In the same way, you are not defined by your experience of loss and trauma.  You are not your trauma.

 • You cannot define yourself by the things you are attached to or no longer have.  You were never those things in the first place.  They were impermanent interior decoration and landscaping, subject to change.

 • Stay in the present moment. This will help you deal with fear.

 • Don’t isolate yourself.  It’s deadly. Get with your tribe, or find one!  If you can’t do this in person, there is the phone and online video conferencing.

 • REST! A rested body is a resilient body; a rested mind is a resilient mind. A resilient mind is a creative force.

 • You are still connected to everything; don’t believe that because you have lost something that you are not connected.  Your anchor is your desire to live.

 • Develop a conscious relationship with your mortality. It will deepen your awareness of your eternal self.

 • When you’re hungry, eat!  Taking in nourishment will ground you.

 • Allow yourself to grieve and scream, as needed. Go ahead, curse God and your Guides. They will not retaliate, and you will get your anger at them off your chest.

 • Use this time of heightened sensitivity to access awareness of your connection to all things.

 • Believe in yourself. I don’t care if you don’t or never did.  Making the choice to do so will empower you.

 • Calm your body, soothe your heart. Let your heart guide you towards what nourishes you. It knows. You know.

 • Trust your intuition.  Don’t second-guess yourself.  You know what’s right for you.

 • It’s OK to not know the outcome or the answers or how you will get from here to there.  Allow spirit and your creativity to find solutions. There’s more than you acting here. Really.

 • Focus on what is working / focus on what you can change/ focus on your strengths.

 • In other words, fix what you can fix; let the rest go.

 • Surround yourself with beauty. There is still beauty out there!

 • You are always inside a bigger picture, a greater context. We do not know what the whole story looks like, and what part we are writing. It is always being written. You are the next great novel that tells a story of ferocious courage.  Live to inspire us.

  • Identify your core essential truth.

 • Connect to people who don’t give up.  

 • Hold your vision for what you know to be true.  

 • Connect with the people who believe in YOU, who see what you’re capable of.

 • Be aware that you are not alone; that there are many, many others who share your vision for what’s possible for humanity, and who are actively working towards it. So what are you giving up for? Go be with them.

 • Look for the victories. They’re out there. People everywhere are uniting in the cause of supporting life, and they’re winning.

 • Stop keeping it a secret from everyone, including yourself, that you are a winner.

 • Get a trainer/ get a teacher/ get a mentor.

 • Treat yourself with love and respect.

 • You have a unique legacy.  Work with it

  • Deepen a friendship.

 • Thrive through inter-connectivity – join an organization that you can get your body, heart, and soul behind.

 • Surround yourself with life and living things.

 • Offer someone hope when they have none.

 • Stay connected to your purpose.

 • Play.

 • Engage the heart: love what is easy to love. It will keep your heart open. (My cats keep my heart open.  Rescuing cats keeps my heart open.)

 • See the apparently insurmountable force as your great Ally. See it as a Mentor who encourages you to be courageous, to reach higher levels of mastery.

 • Resiliency comes from authenticity – above all, be yourself. (If you don’t know who your authentic self is when catastrophe comes knocking, you will find out!)

 • Learn the stories of others who have dealt with horrific circumstances and lived to teach about what it really means to be alive and cherish every moment.

VII: More on How to Navigate

From his book: Deep Survival – Copyright (c) 2003 by Laurence Gonzales

As a journalist, I’ve been writing about accidents for more than thirty years. In the last 15 or so years, I’ve concentrated on accidents in outdoor recreation, in an effort to understand who lives, who dies, and why. To my surprise, I found an eerie uniformity in the way people survive seemingly impossible circumstances. Decades and sometimes centuries apart, separated by culture, geography, race, language, and tradition, the most successful survivors – those who practice what I call “deep survival” – go through the same patterns of thought and behavior, the same transformation and spiritual discovery in the course of keeping themselves alive. Not only that, but it doesn’t seem to matter whether they are surviving being lost in the wilderness or battling cancer, whether they’re struggling through divorce, or facing a business catastrophe – the strategies remain the same.”

” Survival should be thought of as a journey, a vision quest of the sort that Native Americans have had as a rite of passage for thousands of years. Once you’re past the precipitating event–you’re cast away at sea or told you have cancer–you have been enrolled in one of the oldest schools in history. Here are a few things I’ve learned that can help you pass the final exam.”

1. Perceive and Believe.  Don’t fall into the deadly trap of denial or of immobilizing fear.  Admit it: you’re really in trouble and you’re going to have to get yourself out.

2. Stay Calm – Use Your Anger.   In the initial crisis, survivors are not ruled by fear; instead, they make use of it. Their fear often feels like (and turns into) anger, which motivates them and makes them feel sharper.

3. Think, Analyze, and Plan.  Survivors quickly organize, set up routines, and institute discipline.

4. Take Correct, Decisive Action.  Survivors are willing to take risks to save themselves and others. But they are simultaneously bold and cautious in what they will do. They handle what is within their power to deal with from moment to moment, hour to hour, day to day.

5. Celebrate your success.  Survivors take great joy from even their smallest successes. This helps keep motivation high and prevents a lethal plunge into hopelessness. Viktor Frankl put it this way: “Don’t aim at success – the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it.”

6. Enjoy the Survival Journey.   It may seem counterintuitive, but even in the worst circumstances, survivors find something to enjoy, some way to play and laugh.  Survival can be tedious, and waiting itself is an art.

7. See the Beauty.  Survivors are attuned to the wonder of their world, especially in the face of mortal danger. The appreciation of beauty, the feeling of awe, opens the senses to the environment. (When you see something beautiful, your pupils actually dilate.) When Saint-Exupery’s plane went down in the Lybian Desert, he was certain that he was doomed, but he carried on in this spirit: “Here we are, condemned to death, and still the certainty of dying cannot compare with the pleasure I am feeling. The joy I take from this half an orange which I am holding in my hand is one of the greatest joys I have ever known.” At no time did he stop to bemoan his fate, or if he did, it was only to laugh at himself.

8. Believe That You Will Succeed.  It is at this point, following what I call “the vision,” that the survivor’s will to live becomes firmly fixed.

9. Surrender.  Yes you might die. In fact, you will die – we all do. But perhaps it doesn’t have to be today. Don’t let it worry you.

10. Do Whatever Is Necessary.

11. Never Give Up.  If you’re still alive, there is always one more thing that you can do. Survivors are not easily discouraged by setbacks.

Copyright (c) 2003 by Laurence Gonzales

 VIII. Examples of historical figures who went through hell with resiliency in hand: Harriet Tubman, Martin Luther King, Jr., Elie Wiesel, Nelson Mandela, and Mohammad Alaa Aljaleel

Harriet Tubman, c. 1822 – 1913

Harriet Tubman became famous as a “conductor” on the Underground Railroad during the turbulent 1850s. Born a slave on Maryland’s eastern shore, she endured the harsh existence of a field hand, including brutal beatings. In 1849 she fled slavery, leaving her husband and family behind in order to escape. Despite a bounty on her head, she returned to the South at least 19 times to lead her family and hundreds of other slaves to freedom via the Underground Railroad. Tubman also served as a scout, spy, and nurse during the Civil War.

Early in life, she suffered a traumatic head wound when an irate slave owner threw a heavy metal weight intending to hit another slave and hit her instead. The injury caused dizziness, pain, and epilepsy, which occurred throughout her life. It didn’t stop her.

She said: “I had reasoned this out in my mind, there was one of two things I had a right to: liberty or death; if I could not have one, I would have the other.”

Martin Luther King, Jr., 1929 – 1968

Martin Luther King Jr. (born Michael King Jr., January 15, 1929 – April 4, 1968) was an American Baptist minister and activist who became the most visible spokesperson and leader in the Civil Rights Movement. He is best known for his role in the advancement of civil rights using the tactics of nonviolence and civil disobedience based on his Christian beliefs and inspired by the nonviolent activism of Mahatma Gandhi.

In 1968, King was planning a national occupation of Washington, D.C., to be called the Poor People’s Campaign, when he was assassinated by James Earl Ray on April 4 in Memphis, Tennessee. King was posthumously awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom and the Congressional Gold Medal. Martin Luther King Jr. Day was established as a holiday in numerous cities and states beginning in 1971, and as a U.S. federal holiday in 1986. Hundreds of streets in the U.S. have been renamed in his honor, and a county in Washington State was also renamed for him. The Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial on the National Mall in Washington, D.C., was dedicated in 2011.

I’ve Been to the Mountain Top speech excerpts. 1968, shortly before his death:

“Nothing would be more tragic than to stop now. We have to see it through. We go up together, or we go down together. Well, I don’t know what will happen now. We’ve got some difficult days ahead. But it really doesn’t matter with me now, because I’ve been to the mountaintop.

And I don’t mind.

Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I’m not concerned about that now. I just want to do God’s will. And He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I’ve looked over. And I’ve seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land!”

Elie Wiesel, author of Night, 1928 – 2016

Eliezer “Elie” Wiesel, (September 30, 1928 – July 2, 2016) was a Romanian-born American Jewish writer, professor, political activist, Nobel Laureate, and Holocaust survivor. He was the author of 57 books, written mostly in French and English, including Night, a work based on his horrific experiences as a prisoner in the Auschwitz and Buchenwald concentration camps.

Wiesel was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1986, at which time the Norwegian Nobel Committee called him a “messenger to mankind,” stating that through his struggle to come to terms with “his own personal experience of total humiliation and of the utter contempt for humanity shown in Hitler’s death camps,” as well as his “practical work in the cause of peace,” Wiesel had delivered a message “of peace, atonement and human dignity” to humanity. He was a founding board member of the New York Human Rights Foundation and remained active throughout his life.

He said: “Our obligation is to give meaning to life and in doing so to overcome the passive, indifferent life. We have to go into the despair and go beyond it, by working and doing for somebody else, by using it for something else.” He also said: “When a person doesn’t have gratitude, something is missing in his or her humanity. A person can almost be defined by his or her attitude toward gratitude.”

We should never lose gratitude for the life we still have, the life we are always making.

Nelson Mandela, 1918 – 2013

Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela (18 July 1918 – 5 December 2013) was a South African anti-apartheid revolutionary, political leader, and philanthropist, who served as President of South Africa from 1994 to 1999. He was the country’s first black head of state and the first elected in a fully representative democratic election. His government focused on dismantling the legacy of apartheid by tackling institutionalized racism and fostering racial reconciliation.

In 1962, he was arrested for conspiring to overthrow the state and sentenced to life imprisonment in the Rivonia Trial. Mandela served 27 years in prison, initially on Robben Island, and later in Pollsmoor Prison and Victor Verster Prison.

Quotes from Nelson Mandela:

“Difficulties break some men but make others. No axe is sharp enough to cut the soul of a sinner who keeps on trying, one armed with the hope that he will rise even in the end.” “It always seems impossible until it’s done.”

 “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

Il Gattaro D’Aleppo — Mohammad Alaa Aljaleel (late 30’s – early 40’s; still active)

Mohammad Alaa Aljaleel is a Syrian ambulance driver and rescuer, and until December 2016 he lived in East Aleppo, Syria, where war has been raging since 2011. 

While driving his ambulance, Alaa noticed all the strays that had been left behind when their owners left the bombed-out city. He began to feed them. At the end of 2015, thanks to donations, Alaa opened Ernesto’s House of Cats. It also contained a playground for children. The sanctuary fed nearly 200 cats and also a few dogs. On November 16, 2016, the sanctuary and playground were bombed. The group’s ambulance and Alaa’s home were bombed. As the bombing continued, many of cats were killed.

He could have fled the country, together with his wife and his three children. Instead he decided to stay for love of his country, his people, and the animals. Before the war he worked as an electrician; now he is a rescuer and drives an ambulance. Every day he helps the neediest people of Aleppo – children, the elderly, the disabled, and orphans. 

With the help of donations, Alaa rebuilt the sanctuary and children’s playground, added a vet clinic, continues to take in cats and make sure orphans are cared for, all while the bombs are still falling. He is not a 501(c)(3). He is 100% dependent on donations. And the bombs are still falling. But as long as there are people and animals to feed and care for, Alaa will be there for them.

IX. The Gifts of Finding Your Resiliency

GIFT: You will find your Core Essential Truth

YOU HAVE A CORE ESSENTIAL TRUTH. IDENTIFY IT, AND START LIVING BY IT.

There is something enduring at your Core that has nothing to do with time or place. This is what gets revealed after everything has been stripped away.  This truth is what your life is anchored into.  It is unwavering and immovable.  Stay connected to this truth, and it will sustain you.

What is happening to you right now is not ultimate truth. It is not YOUR ultimate truth. This is because you are much, much bigger than this moment, this circumstance, this issue, this problem, this time and place.

When you realize how big you are, and how powerful, your current awful circumstances won’t be able to compete.

But how do I tap into that – access that power?

Ask Yourself: What is my core essential truth in the face of the insurmountable?  Identify it and articulate it. This truth will anchor you when things seem hopeless.

What are your core values and beliefs? Do they hold up under deep stress? If so, they will sustain you.

The author’s essential truth: Life matters. No matter what, I support life to the end.   No matter what, MY life matters and YOUR life matters.

You have to be willing to master the core knowledge that drives the Universe’s existence.  The core knowledge of the Universe is that selfless consciousness rules the Universe.  Selfless consciousness recognizes at all times that it does not exist for itself.  Selfless consciousness knows that it exists only in relation to others and that others are part of its existence.

You are bigger than your experience of loss and trauma. You exist in relationship to all things. You are universal. And therein exist infinite possibilities to get what you need to create your new life.

GIFT: You will find your Life Purpose

Digging deep into your personal resources to get yourself out of uncomfortable or difficult circumstances will unearth treasures that will reveal to you what you’re made of.  From this, you will find your calling.  Because you will have found yourself through:

 • self-reliance.
 • the courage to persevere in the face of an unknown future.
 • the courage to persevere without external aid from tools or others.
 • the courage to tend your own wounds.
 • profound creativity in designing new applications to deal with what you’re facing.
 • learning to deal with, and accept, severe restrictions and limitations.
 • learning new skills that will take you farther than you’ve ever been.

GIFT: You realize that your soul has always told you what it wants.  You need to listen! There are directions, a map, and instructions to guide you.

What does the soul want? The soul wants to be fully present and engaged. The soul needs to have experiences that challenge it to expand and grow new anatomy. Don’t be surprised when change happens. It is inherent to the soul to be creative, and to be dynamically so. As sparks of God, we are each god in our own right. God is the mastermind par excellence of Exploration and Creation, and when he/r incarnational expression spends too much time going over the same lesson plan, the soul will endure boredom only so long.

XI. Life on the other side of loss, or the new story

The protagonist in Cast Away would not have made the effort to reach deep within and begin to cultivate new skills, nor would he have had any incentive to step into becoming the person he now needed to be, if his life had not been at stake. The person he needed to evolve into, if he was to live, required a new mindset, new tools, and a new perspective on what his life, and Life itself, was about.

When Chuck got back home he had a medicine bag bursting with new skills and self-knowledge. With these hard-won and intrepid tools under his belt, his capacity to handle whatever life brought him had increased by magnitudes. Whether or not he had asked for training in new levels of mastery, he was nonetheless given a stark and unprecedented opportunity to do so.  And he would need to apply these tools because the life that had been taken from him was not restored.  His losses were real and they were permanent, and he had to live with that and still make a new life.

WELL HERE YOU ARE! YOU MAY AS WELL LIVE THE MOST MAGNIFICENT LIFE YOU CAN LIVE, WHILE YOU LOOK FORWARD TO CREATING WHAT’S NEXT.

XII. Resiliency is a Practice, a Way of Life

None of us know what’s around the corner. None of us know what our future brings. We need to be prepared for the unexpected. We need to stay vigilant, and rather than resist, cultivate at each opportunity our capacity for resilience. You have no idea how much resiliency you have. Your spiritual power is greater than your fate.

Resiliency is Your Calling

You are not your limitations.
You are not your fears.
You are not the projections of others,
nor are you defined by others.
You are uniquely YOU.
You know who that is.
Wake up. Get up. Get moving. Step out, step up!
Claim your birthright. Draw down your blueprint.
All of it. ALL OF IT! Don’t leave anything behind.
Hold nothing back!
As long as you’re still here, as long as you’re alive,
As long as your boots are on the ground,
your creative capacities to re-make yourself and your world
in the image of all that is good and beautiful, and what you
know, in your heart of hearts to be just and true
is completely available. To you. And from you,
to everyone and everything else.
Do it. Re-make yourself. I dare you. The Creator was only
just getting started when you were made.
The Creator was never prouder than when you said,
“I’m here now, and I’m taking over.”
The two cents in your pocket have nothing to say about that.

~**~**~
 Without change, challenge, and struggle, there is no resiliency. Without resiliency, there is no evolution. Without evolution, there is no you.

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THE FORCE AND FIELD OF LIFE

The Force and Field of life is the energy of love that surrounds you. This Quantum Field surrounds all things animate and inanimate; all things present and unseen, all things that have not yet come into being, and all things that have transformed.

This Dynamic Field of Original Consciousness gave birth to us. We are child-sparks of that Consciousness and so hold Its original blueprint. This extraordinary blueprint can be activated by us in whole or in part. Most of us only activate a tiny portion, just enough to ensure our survival and to move ahead in life. And, we activate only that portion that addresses what we see immediately in front of us, and what we think we need to do to survive. But what we see is only a shadow of a much, much larger multi-dimensional reality that we exist in at all times. The multi-dimension is really where we reside, but the habit of relying on the limitations of our physical senses to give us the big picture of what’s going on and to tell us what’s real, has tricked us into not being able to perceive beyond third dimensionality, and to believe that what we see is what we get, what we can ever hope to get, and nothing more.

This is the illusion that many of us sit inside of, and which limits our capacity to access and activate the more profound aspects of our consciousness. We have the ability to heal ourselves. We have the ability to create a world that loves justice and honors life. We have the ability to express our dharma to its fullest, allowing our souls to unleash their gifts in all their beauty and magnificence. We have not yet seen anything quite like this. We don’t know what we are truly capable of. We have been treated to concepts, images, and tiny tastes of this possibility, but we have not gone where we can go. Not anywhere near that. Perhaps because we have not known we could.

You have access to a powerful, transcendent consciousness that exists outside of space and time, and from which anything that has ever been created has been created, good and bad. It is an illusion that our ability to create is subject to the limitations of the physical plane. On the contrary, the physical plane is simply an expression of how we have chosen to limit ourselves. There is so much more we can do to create the world that our hearts are yearning to manifest. A world where justice shines like the sun on all beings, where everyone’s needs are met such that they are able to come into the fullness of their gifts and do what they came here to do. When everyone is doing and being who they are, the capacity of this world to create love, beauty, and energy will leap exponentially. I can only personally begin to imagine what that could look like.

The truth: here, at the level of transcendent consciousness – which perpetually swirls in a ceaseless dynamic of the potential of everything – we have the capacity to create beyond our wildest dreams. We can create everything we need, because everything we need exists here.

Close your eyes, and see yourself stepping into the quantum field of what’s possible, where creativity and imagination know no bounds. Open your heart and allow pure desire to spread deep into this field. Wrap your desire around each and every component you need to create the stories, the poems, the health, the courage, the gardens, homes, schools, and communities that will take your life to a completely different level. This rich and full life has eluded you because you have forgotten your Self. You have forgotten you can unleash your heart’s desires from the farthest reaches of your imagination and your deepest need to connect. You have forgotten that Source never left because you are Source! You came from the Quantum Field of Life, and you are still immersed in it, indivisible and inseparable, always and forever. Everything you need is here. Here, everything is love.

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FINDING YOUR LIFE PURPOSE

splash_lifepurpose

Do I have a life purpose?

That goes without saying! It was so in the beginning, and will be to the end. You have a unique purpose encoded within. You are here to act from that purpose. You are here to live, breathe, create, and experience health and great joy from that purpose. Living your purpose has immeasurable ramifications in the good that it does. Even if you cannot at first articulate that purpose, if you seek it with an open heart, it will find you.

How can I know what my life purpose is?

What do you care about? What have you fallen in love with? What did you love to do when you were very young? Look there for your life purpose. What are you compelled to bear witness to? What is it that loosens your tongue to speak the truth? What will cause you to leap out of bed? Look there for your purpose. The activities you are naturally drawn to, what you long to learn about or explore will point you to your life purpose. Follow what calls you.

Your purpose is driven by your soul intentions, and is not tied to the material world, though it must express inside of it. Bear in mind that the soul is not about hierarchy, ego, or one-upmanship. Your life purpose will not be found there. The soul is about sharing, giving, and receiving. It is about coming from love and being fully present. In its grandest sense, your life purpose is to learn to give and receive love.

Is it about living an exalted life, that is, one where you are famous and glamorous and impressive and influential and make lots of money?

Your purpose is not necessarily tied to a career; its focus may not be about making lots of money or being famous — at least, not for most of you. Maybe your life purpose is to make money, or maybe your life purpose will have the outcome of making money, but don’t assume that making a buck is your soul’s primary purpose for being in a physical vehicle. Rather than focusing on what vocation will make you the most money, focus instead on creating a life that gives you joy and provides you a forum to be of service. If you allow logic to overrule your heart’s desires, you will miss the boat.

Of course, there is room in any life for trial and error, especially around finding your life purpose. There is, in fact, the need to make mistakes. And it is inevitable that you will. No matter. Mistakes will teach you what is dear to you, and what you can live without. This discussion is not intended to imply that only a rigid course of action will get you on your right path. It is the willingness to test the waters and be resilient when things don’t work as planned or don’t follow a neat trajectory that will be the most benefit to you in identifying your purpose. The goal is to give yourself permission to experiment and to not know.

Does my life purpose best express itself through a vocation?

We have been enculturated to believe that one’s life purpose can best be expressed — or only expressed — through a particular vocation. And it can be deeply satisfying to pursue mainstream courses of study, or to take a job in an established and respected vocation. When that is the case, it is intended that you take those interests further. But many of you are not here to do “normal” or conventional work, or specialize in just one area. Many of you are here to do many things! Because there is an almost infinite variety of life purposes and ways of expressing them, it is not always possible to find a vocation that will seamlessly mesh with or match your unique purpose.

The reality is that collective culture and consciousness is behind in its understanding of vocation. As a result, most of you will live your purpose as best you can in conjunction with (or not), and in addition to, what you do to make a living. The important thing is that you live your purpose and do what you can with the support you have. When you courageously live your purpose, you are truly in the vanguard to raise consciousness on the deeper meaning of vocation, including making new criteria for the standards by which vocation is valued.

What does it look like when I’m living my purpose? More importantly, what does it feel like when I’m living my purpose?

You will know you are living your purpose when you experience a deep sense of personal fulfillment; you will know, from your sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, that this is what is right for you. Your purpose is something you do whether you get paid for it or not because it gives you tremendous satisfaction. Your soul’s need to experience profound fulfillment and the connection to all things that arises from living your purpose will light a fire under your feet.

What is the common denominator behind every life purpose?

Your life purpose is given specific form and meaning from the soul. Your soul is the driver of your life purpose. So you can ask: What does my soul want? What is meaningful for my soul? Your soul wants to be fully present and engaged. Whatever compels you to be present and thoroughly engaged is your life purpose, or part of it. By being present to your own life and following what calls to you, you will live your purpose. How do you get there? It’s actually quite simple. You do it all the time without thinking about it. Follow your bliss. Follow your joy; follow your yearnings. If you follow your joy you will find yourself gradually shaping a life that is in sync with your life purpose. Your joy and fulfillment are your clues.

I want to be faithful to my life purpose. I want to live it, but I don’t know what the next step is, especially because I’m still not clear on that purpose.

Trust that the next step will become apparent. Take the step that brings you the most excitement — this is always your cue for the right direction. Taking the next step on behalf of your joy is much better than not moving at all. If you find yourself losing your joy, then correct your course to reconnect with it. When you follow your joy, how you live your life will gradually come back into congruence with your life purpose. When you follow your joy, what is right for you will find you. If you cannot feel anything, move forward anyway. You will again find what feels best.

Believe in yourself.

Believe that you have a right to be here. You have as much right as anyone to be here. There is a place in this world for you, and it is yours alone. Your role and your contributions are needed more than ever.

What is calling you at this time?

Pay close attention to what you are drawn to. There are large clues here to help you find your purpose. Are you responding to those or ignoring them because they are not practical and perhaps even somewhat crazy? Trust that you were built to surmount the obstacles to your purpose. Trust that you are meant to follow your path, however crazy and unwise it appears to everyone else. If you are authentically living your purpose, you will be supported to live that purpose.

Our world desperately needs your gifts! This is what makes it imperative that you live your purpose. Pay attention to what will not leave you alone. Living your purpose is not just for your sake, although that is important, but it is also for the world’s sake. Because each one of us contains a unique piece of the creative genius behind this world’s design, every human being’s participation is required. Therefore, understand that being who you are is everything. Your divine assignment is meant to be a force for the evolution of this world; it is effective only to the extent that you are living your purpose.

Develop your talents to their greatest extent and use them to make the greatest contribution you can – this is true success.

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Copyright © 2015 – present | Gloria Constantin | All Rights Reserved |

LIVING WITH DYING IN THE ANTHROPOCENE

blue anthropocene
The world I knew was gradually getting away from me. It was slowly dying. I didn’t see it that way at first; I didn’t see it. I didn’t realize that with all the job losses, some abrupt and unexpected, the relationships that had ended – also abruptly and unexpectedly — and with the continuing hit to my finances, mind, and heart, I was inside of my own Anthropocene. I kept expecting and believing that things would turn around when I got my next job, but that job never came. Then I lost my home – the sweet home that had provided shelter and warmth and happiness for me and the rescued felines I had loved and nurtured for many years, the home where I had made professional connections and friendships, and which held so many memories and so much of my life. Boulder, Colorado is a beautiful place and though I lived there a long time, if truth be told, I always felt as if I were somehow overreaching in an attempt to prove that I belonged in Boulder as much as anyone. In some secret place behind my thoughts, I understood that my tenure was always temporary. At any moment, an unexpected event could overturn my world beyond which I could make it right again.

We don’t like to think about it, and we may not want to accept it – but we live with the unexpected. The unexpected is regularly woven into the routines of our organized lives. It appears, again and again, to insert itself into our spreadsheets and carefully maintained portfolios. And just as the unexpected reminds us that we cannot escape the cyclicity of chaos, the weather, or the seasons, it also reminds us that dying is an inescapable fact of life. Dying is as inevitable as it is natural. It is eternally woven into the profound coil of life, fathoms past fathoms deep, as inextricable as a mountain’s heart. There is not a single one of us that has not been or will not be, affected by the loss and permanent separation that is the uncontestable signature of death. And yet, even these permanent separations are an integral attribute of the larger cycle that is life and we know this not only because we have been told this, but because we have personally witnessed it. We have lived it. Despite our losses, life will always emerge. Life will emerge and renew itself again despite death, and because of it.

But then there is the death unique to the Anthropocene. Our current epoch is characterized by certain inarguable material realities. We are choking on energy depletion, environmental degradation, and economic meltdown. We are at a crucial tipping point: we have created death zones in the ocean. Nuclear waste is everywhere. Glaciers are melting at unheard-of speeds, floods and storms are decimating communities, species extinctions and loss of biodiversity accelerate maddeningly, shortages of food and water intensify daily, and the extent of these are not truly grasped collectively.

So here we are, amid a mega-crisis. This Anthropocene is our modern apocalypse, constructed through acts of unyielding power that brooked little or no compromise with its agenda. Would that it be a tale belonging to humanity’s ancient history or to previous cycles this planet has endured. Would that it was a chilling story passed down from the ancestors and told to those gathered safely around an inviting campfire. But it is not. We are living it now. We are living with dying where dying means the permanent loss of life, of plant and animal species, of oceans and rivers – of a geography and a geology that is never coming back. We are looking at the permanent loss of a way of life, of how we habitually carry on in a world that we assumed would forever acclimate to our desires. This is the permanent death that is extinction.

The term Anthropocene* was coined in the 1980s by ecologist Eugene F. Stoermer and widely popularized by the Nobel Prize-winning atmospheric chemist, Paul Crutzen. It describes the present geological epoch – some say from the time of the Industrial Revolution; some say from much earlier. We can say that from about 1760 to the mid-1800s our species no longer relied solely on the energy from animals and our sweat. We could access fossilized energy from coal, petroleum products, and gas. This unleashed a new era of dramatic population increases, GDP increases, and increasingly heavy resource consumption. Human dominance of biological, chemical, and geological processes significantly impacted the environment. Then World War II led to accelerated changes in how we organized ourselves and how we lived. Along with the population explosion came tremendous economic changes which opened up its own Pandora’s Box.

Officially, we’re in what is known as the Holocene epoch (a long warm period dating back 11,700 years), but the informal nomenclature is the Anthropocene. The term Anthropocene inherently recognizes the irrevocable damage wrought by industrialization to Nature. Truly grasping the significance of the Anthropocene will result in deep emotional trauma which will include great grief, great fear, and a sweeping loss of identity. After all, the social and cultural foundations to which we tethered our sense of who we are in the world, our value, our achievements and status, and all the power and recognition that goes with that, will no longer be the same.

Years ago, I lost my husband and my best friend when I voluntarily left our marriage. In the years that followed I greatly regretted the loss of that friendship. That friendship had brought into my life a loyal ally who saw my gifts before I even knew I had them, who encouraged their development, and who stood by me when others insisted on demonizing me. I also lost the emotional and material safety net that comes with alliances. It was more certain that with two of us, rather than each of us alone, we would have a greater chance of keeping a roof over our heads. But I didn’t care then about safety; I didn’t give it any thought. As much as I needed this man’s extraordinary friendship and kindness, as much as I needed the insights of our conversations, and as much as I loved this remarkable and selfless being, I needed, even more, the freedom to experience the world on my terms. I longed to dive deep, deep, into the recesses of my soul to dredge up, once and for all, what I was truly made of and who I was born to be.

In the years that followed I chose a path that would take me to the profound core of what it meant to be independent and self-reliant in a world where there were no guarantees of another meal or another job.  There was no nobility in struggling to survive.  Struggle was the devil in all his ugliness, his rotting teeth exposed by a dank, triumphant leer. I had become another of his prisoners via the tangled web I had unwittingly and so naively constructed.  I learned how supremely vulnerable we are to the whims of others’ choices when we have few options. Nevertheless, I held tightly to an imaginary sprinkling of fairy dust.   I hoped magical thinking would be enough to save my life.

Losses that tear out the heart and for which there are no words are the initiation into the liman of deep emotional trauma. Once we’ve entered this muddy lagoon – we will slog out a path forward or write ourselves out of the future. In this space of total vulnerability, we don’t know if we will live or die. Death of the life we knew is the end of the current story. There will be no resurrection of what was, and it is here, inside the maw of uncertainty, that we have the opportunity to weave a new story.

It will become necessary to master emotional resiliency. We will need resilience to survive the personal and collective unraveling of the post-industrial, post-petroleum, and post-technological collapse. To bear up under change for which we have no words, and for which there is no map or guidebook, we will need to rely on ourselves and each other. What is emotional resiliency? It is the ability to recover from shock or great loss. Even in the face of permanent change or damage, resilience is distinguished by the capacity to return from the edge of despair, reeking with vulnerability, and still embrace life and move forward. How do we get there? We seek out those things that encourage and develop emotional resilience.

Push through the fear. Do it anyway – leap. Muster the courage to imagine a post-industrial world. Allow yourself to envision a world in extreme stages of collapse. There are plenty of post-apocalyptic movies and TV series that can assist you with picturing this. Imagine yourself as a character in any of those scenarios. Notice your grief and fear. Allow yourself to open up to these difficult emotions and be to them. Notice if there’s anything you may want to change about the way you currently live your life, and in the way you think. We will not be able to create alternatives to living if we succumb to fear.

Develop a conscious relationship with death. This means deepening your awareness of the precious life force that runs through all beings, the same as your own, and how fragile and temporal life truly is. We have all experienced the death of careers and relationships. These deaths won’t necessarily kill you, but they are an initiation into loss. Allowing yourself to feel these losses can make you stronger and can prepare you for the greater losses of the death of pets and persons you love. Surrendering to loss by death means remembering who they were and knowing who are because of them. We allow our memories to flourish, remembering our joy, but also allow ourselves to dive into the depths of our grief. In this way, develop a greater capacity manage loss. A heart that can contain the profound depths of grief is a heart that can adapt.

Allow yourself to feel the grief.

Your little boy has so much rage, and you sent so much of it my way.
Despite that, my heart opened to you even as the black storm of your anger
gathered itself behind me and broke right through my chest.

My heart split wide, over and over
as the great writhing wind
of all your loosed despair knifed its way through,
slashing, slashing, and wailing.

Maybe I should have felt some sense of violation,
bewilderment, or surprise, or anger.
I felt none of these things.
I felt only compassion and a profound connectedness.

I have known much of the ugly futility that is life for so many.
The impotence and the impotent rage, the ability to do nothing
but wait and wait and wait
for the day when the world changes, when glorious epiphanies are immanent
and it is Christmas forever.

I have known that deep and nameless struggle,
the irrevocability of loss, and the implacable beyond belief,
grief.
It deepens and it deepens, and sometimes
you cannot breathe.
And if one could only speak the Word, none of this
would ever have happened, and we would be two
shiny-haired children playing in the sun.

Access a higher state of consciousness. A higher state of consciousness is about understanding the impact of your thinking, your values, and your lifestyle, and most especially, the legacy you will leave behind as a result of what you thought, did, and modeled. A higher state of consciousness also includes awareness of your connection to all things, past, present, and future. Here you realize that you are responsible for those who come after you. Instead of giving in to the imminence of catastrophe, you know that you must be strong and have a clear vision for what will create sustainability in the now and for the future. It is from a state of higher consciousness that you can find your courage and be able to inspire others to step up and embrace the higher possibilities for their own lives that have always been there.

Get with your tribe. I cannot underscore enough the importance of being with people who see who you are, and who love and respect you for that. It is very, very difficult to hold up under tremendous stress and the worst thing you can do when the chips are down is to isolate yourself. It is too easy when we are alone to rationalize that we have no value and nothing to offer. Those who see your gifts, especially those who have benefited from them, will be the ones to pick you back up and remind you how much you are needed.

Focus on creating happy experiences. We need humor, friendship, play, self-care, and rest. Spend time with those who see you and love you. Indulge in activities that bring you joy. Write poems and stories. Share them. Write plays and produce them. Put an orchestra together. Be in a choir. Sing robustly. Preen that solo voice. Play your favorite instrument, even if you’re not good at it. Contribute your gifts for the well-being of others, and have fun. Remember fun? Put that life force energy out there, in a big way. And rest.

Make your thoughts and actions count. Can we make our personal and collective Anthropocene a fruitful period? Can we make this an opportunity to create a new self, a new human, and a new civilization based on an entirely new vision and a new set of values? It is a good time to focus with laser intensity on what is essential to support life. For each project we undertake, we must ask ourselves if it observes sustainability and if the results will create sustainability. 

Believe in yourself. Believe that you have a right to be here. You have as much right as anyone to be here, and to find your right place in this world. As the world contracts and collapses around you, ironic as it seems, it is even more important that you believe you have a right to be here. It will not help you to think of yourself as a victim, and neither will it help anyone else. Although you will likely be required to be even more dexterous and to leap ever-widening fissures with the best of them, this does not mean your role and your contribution are no longer valid. It is more valid, and your skills and insights are needed more than ever. Therefore, in these times and because of these times, it is critical that you find your soul’s calling and bring it to life. These are the times that take us out of ourselves and then draw us back in, more deeply than we knew was possible.

Many are feeling the call to draw from their souls a much deeper and richer understanding of who they are, and of their world. They realize they must become someone other than who they have been. We are being initiated into depths of fear, anger, despair, and grief that go much beyond what we ever expected to encounter in the ordinary course of an ordinary life. Business as usual is over. The soul of life itself is asking us to let go of who we were and to be willing to discover a new identity informed by the deepened self. This requires a great deal of courage; you will now have to see who you are and what you are made of. And then decide if you can become that.

When I left my husband, I blasted myself far from my comfort zone. I plunged forward into the unknown and terror because I needed to take a stand for my life, for my right to find and live the life I had chosen before I ever met him. Along the way, I discovered that the universe is infinitely willing to share its secrets as long as I am willing to make the journey to unveil my true self. Even though I could die trying. There was a caveat: I had to go naked and I could take nothing with me. When I started down that road, I didn’t have tools. I was naïve and lacked knowledge and skills. But I went anyway, driven by the need to know what was out there, and who I could become. 

What is calling you at this time? Are you paying attention? Are you in the process of responding to your calling and changing your life accordingly? Who is in your community and how are you sharing your calling with them? Our world desperately needs the gifts you brought to this planet. It is imperative that you honor your calling – the one that will not leave you alone, and see what new material in the way of insights and practical, sustainable applications for a different way of being can emerge – from you and your community.

Resilient people make use of their losses. Resilient people have learned to make use of their losses because they have trained themselves, mentally and emotionally, to think with detachment and with a minimum of fear. When we manage our fear of the future and stay in the present, we can enter a space of clarity. It is from here that we can imagine the possibility of real solutions.

* From the Greek “anthropos” meaning human, and “–cene,” indicating a geologic period.


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Copyright © 2014-Current | Gloria Constantin | All Rights Reserved |

IN THE LIMINAL ZONE

At the Threshold
At the Threshold

There’s an article on this website where I talk about the deep survival crisis the protagonist of Cast Away is plunged into when he is stranded on an uninhabited island. After four years of persevering and adapting to a harsh environment, he is able to free himself from the extreme confines of an isolated, ascetic life. In this article I explore the primitive and intimate process of being inside the reality of moving through severe challenges. ~ Gloria

In the Liminal Zone, we are eyeless, voiceless, and without skin to cover our bones.

We are wanderers in the land of the dead, a stark desert buffeted by howling winds. If you listen closely, you can hear the shrill whispers of its discarnate inhabitants – those unwilling to move on, unwilling to let go of their grief, and those who will not leave until they understand, from their most profound depths, WHY.

When you’ve lost your job, your spouse, your child, your beloved pet, when you’ve been forcibly and permanently separated from who you loved and what you need to live, the grief and shock are overwhelming. You’re not having a debate with despair, loneliness, or terror – you are those things; they live inside each cell of your being, roiling through your guts in an endless loop of horror. You are now inside the cruel universe. This is about your absolute powerlessness to do anything about being swept away, tugged under violent waters, and thrown against sharp rocks and jagged reefs. And it all happens without your consent while you choke, unable to scream or protest.

And then – miraculously – you are flung to the surface and you gasp madly for air.

Unknown depths stretch endlessly before you. If you want to live, you must now tread through them. You have entered the Liminal Zone, the bridgeless chasm between the life you had and the one that does not yet exist. You are in the space between the stories of your life. When we’re in that space, we don’t know if we will get back to our former life, to our worn but comfortable story, or if we will find ourselves on a different track in a new story, or if will get back at all. And therein lays the unassailable terror and invitation of the Liminal Zone. It is here, at the threshold of scathing unknowability, that we have the opportunity to wrestle with personal limitations made even more potent by the inscrutable environment we find ourselves in. The story of your life as you knew it is in its death throes.

In this space of complete vulnerability, we don’t know if we will live or die.

Death is the end of the current story. The resurrection of what was is not a likely option, so what will the new story be? We don’t know. We can’t know. We can only guess at what’s possible. We can try to calculate the odds by accounting for external resources and the capacity of our ingenuity, including the state of our mental and physical health. It’s possible, too, that although the apparent horizon holds no promise for it, life could change for the better. Some unplanned events or resources could unexpectedly appear. But if we want to live one thing is certain – we must stay focused. We do not have the luxury of displacing this primary focus with endless philosophical queries and metaphysical excursions into WHY. We must make our peace with what is and proceed. If we want to be able to write ourselves into the future, we have to be the authors of our lives in thought, word, and deed. But to get to the future we will have to go through the Liminal Zone.

Once inside the Zone, your former identity is unceremoniously shed.

The attachment to your accomplishments – to the “Great Work” you put out in the world – becomes irrelevant and dissolves into a lack of meaning. After all, it cannot sustain you here. The identity you established in your former life is violently hacked right off your bones. Your persona is altered beyond recognition. It is here, in the Zone, that you are dismembered. You have become Liminal.

Now you must put yourself back together, create a new body, a new identity, and a new story.

In 2013 I wrote When You’re Going Through Hell Keep Going where I talked about the deep survival crisis the protagonist of Cast Away is plunged into when he is stranded on an uninhabited island. After four years of persevering and adapting to a harsh environment, Chuck Noland is able to free himself from the extreme confines of an isolated, ascetic life.

Navigating the Liminal Zone

When Chuck’s plane went down into the South Pacific he was thrust into the Liminal Zone. What did he reflect on during those long lonely days and nights, especially when he knew that he might never see his family or friends again? He knew he could die of illness, starvation, and exposure. What kept him going, despite the loneliness and the acute unknowability of his future? Although he made several attempts to end his life, he continued to push forward into and through the Liminal Zone, eventually making his way out.

But how did he do that? How did he make his way to the other side? To begin: he was still in his body, in one piece. There were no immediate ways available to end his life other than returning to the ocean and intentionally drowning. But such an act is counter to the body’s instinct to survive. The innate tendency is to preserve one’s life for as long as one can. And that is how Chuck moved forward; he looked for ways to hold onto his life. Although there was a huge learning curve in understanding his new environment and mastering it sufficiently to stay alive, his perseverance and small successes encouraged him to continue to make the effort to live. That is not to say that he did not have frequent nightmares that this was how life would be for the duration or that he completely ceased to entertain taking his own life. I believe he walked between the chafingly disparate worlds of wanting to live and needing to die, and sometimes his need to die created pressure so abrasive that it was only his greater need to quell his hunger that saved him. His continuous dialogues with despair and hope were companions as inescapable as his breath and as inevitable as the blood running through his veins. Nevertheless, he pushed forward – driven by hunger, hope, and despair – and in doing so, stretched his capacity to wait, to be patient, and to be resilient inside the unknown.

When you are in the Liminal Zone, time is experienced differently.

In a sense, there is no time. There is no schedule for how long it will take to break the trails that will lead you to your new story. It can take weeks, months, or years. Your body, your spirit, and your will are the gifts and tools that will keep you going. The Liminal Zone gives no quarter; you either commit to your life or you die. This is the gift of the Liminal Zone – comfort may be hard to come by while you’re in it, but you are nevertheless offered the possibility of a new life.

 Copyright © | Gloria Constantin | All Rights Reserved |

The Thing Is by Ellen Bass

to love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you’ve held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.

The Thing Is by Ellen Bass, from Mules of Love.


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NO INDIVIDUAL INSURANCE PLAN WILL COVER THIS KIND OF THING

Do they have insurance on us?
Do they have insurance on us?

The title of this article is inspired by a statement Liza Long made in her post of December 16, 2012 at gawker.com, “I am Adam Lanza’s mother. No insurance plan will cover this kind of thing.” In a lyrical and riveting narrative on the troubling spectrum of her son’s behaviors, Ms Long writes about the December 14 tragedy at the Sandy Hook Elementary School. Raising her brilliant and disturbed child was a profound challenge for her. She goes on to say, this problem is too big for me to handle on my own. Sometimes there are no good options. So you just pray for grace and trust that in hindsight, it will all make sense.

On Sunday, December 16, in a presentation at an interfaith vigil in the town of Newtown, Connecticut, the President said, “These tragedies must end, and to end them, we must change. We will be told that the causes of such violence are complex, and it is true. No single law, no set of laws can eliminate evil from the world or prevent every senseless act of violence in our society. But that can’t be an excuse for inaction. Surely we can do better than this.”

When Caroline Myss, a New York Times best-selling author and dynamic teacher of spiritual psychology, is asked for her insight on the cause of illness or the reason for tragedy, she admonishes that there is never any one cause which leads to a specific result. There are always many causes or reasons that are ultimately behind any situation or effect.

As long as we believe that others who are “high maintenance,” that is, the poor, the mentally ill, the homeless, the uneducated, the chronically depressed, the elderly, the jobless, the terminally ill (and the list goes on), are not deserving of compassionate and ongoing intervention and assistance (because they should somehow have done something to have helped themselves), we will only have inefficient and inadequate social programs to address these issues. And there will be no reason to have insurance plans that cover the gaps or pick up the slack of inadequate social programs – because we don’t think they’re necessary. As long as we believe that any underachiever, addict, or down-on-their-luck person just needs to exercise more self-responsibility and all will be well, I assert that we also need to have programs and funds and housing and food and transportation and clothing to assist them with climbing out of their pit. Human beings cannot improve their lives and develop greater sufficiency without resources. Period. How long would any of us last in the desert without food, water, and a tent? Or how about just without our current utilities infrastructure? As long as we expect that the burden of care for the high maintenance among us must be borne solely by individuals and their families whose tents are only so big, we will collectively continue to pay dearly. It’s worth stating here that any misconceptions and even arrogance we have regarding the “lessons” of those in trouble should consider that there is never any one cause for a single effect – and we are all subject to the same physical laws.

Mental illness, like poverty and accidents, will likely always be with us. It is inherent in our lesser nature to default to an incomplete and imbalanced understanding of all the factors that create these conditions, and to understand justice through the lens of polarity rather than through the heart of compassion. When human beings take the leap of understanding and beyond that, accept that we are all in life together and that is it our divine obligation and desire to care for those with whom we do not share familial DNA, then we can build a vision of collective family. From this vision, different structures, legal processes, and programs can emerge.

What can we do that is surely better than what we have done? We can create new systems, but in order to create new systems, it will be necessary to step outside of our known experiences. Perhaps what we need is to create new paradigms that take us to places in our consciousness that we have never been to before – to think way out of the box in the most extraordinary and exalted ways!

I believe it’s possible to call in a future that is in far greater alignment with the real values many of us subscribe to. If we believe that everyone should have a roof over their heads, and should be able to pursue the education that will develop their innate talents and create their ability to contribute, then we find or create the means  to make this happen. If we believe that there should be universal health care, then we envision the systems that will bring this into being. And while we do so, let us not ignore the organizations already in place, and that depend heavily on donations. We can bring these into the mainstream, making them an integral part of the culture. The shift here is that these organizations can be empowered to be far more than charities.

Let us put on our best strategic minds in service to a more beautiful and just world, one that engages our many different skills and talents. It is our collaborative and cooperative efforts that are the insurance plan that can cover many different kinds of claims. The vision and the value is this: each one of us has the right to claim, and indeed must claim, their highest and best expression. Imagine a community where everyone is contributing at their peak! In the meantime, we can continue our support of organizations that support others, and continue to reach out to each other in humility and without judgment, as there is not a single one of us who has been deprived of the foundation of support that enable us to become who we are now.


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Copyright © 2012-Current | Gloria Constantin | All Rights Reserved |

SPIRITUAL DNA: AN INTRODUCTION

I wrote this piece to explore Spiritual DNA. It was from the Creator that all things emerged, as s/he was the One who breathed into life innumerable aspects of his/her Divine Being. Our spiritual inheritance is older than the dust of ages. The term Spiritual DNA itself reveals an evolution in our understanding of the nature of our soul. This article reflects my personal thoughts and is not offered as a definitive understanding of Spiritual DNA, or proof that it is real.~ Gloria

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What is Spiritual DNA?

Just as our biological DNA transmits physical traits to the body, spiritual DNA transmits certain essential elements of your Soul to your soul. Spiritual DNA is where our soul histories are stored. It transfers its elements to you, but it activates only some of those elements to each incarnation. These contain the gifts and purpose to carry out the intention for a particular life. Each life has a role in your evolving consciousness. The trajectory of your soul, that which is described by the journey of your incarnations, and how you have carried out your soul’s agenda, reveals your evolving consciousness.  

Your spiritual DNA will ignite in you excitement and desire for specific experiences. This is your cue that you’re on the right track! The combination of soul traits and personality is unique to each lifetime because each lifetime’s purpose varies, and so you have the aspects of DNA optimum for carrying out that purpose. Your spiritual DNA is encoded with the information you need to live your best life.

We incorporate into our ever-evolving consciousness the experiences gathered from each lifetime. Each lifetime offers unique education. For example, you might have the opportunity to understand what it is to be black, female, or gay in a time and place in history where these classifications are seen as inferior. How we interpret and receive the impact of our classroom time also informs our beliefs. We form beliefs around our experiences of rejection and hostility as well as acceptance and opportunity.

What is the mechanism of transfer of Spiritual DNA?

The Soul has its own genome; that is, it carries a template of traits of its unique identity. The Soul genome contains, in the form of quanta of energy, innumerable bytes of information. Spiritual DNA imprints itself onto physical DNA; it imprints those attributes needed for the soul to fulfill its contract for an incarnation. These attributes guide the person via the steady influence they exert. We will be drawn to be and do those things that are encoded in our DNA, both physical and spiritual. The energetic forms and specific mechanisms of transfer of the Soul’s genome to the physical is unknown. It seems likely the substance is not material as we understand that; it is perhaps a biofield inherent to a Soul’s unique make-up.

Your Spiritual DNA compels you.

There’s a force inside you that compels you. Joseph Campbell said that we should follow our bliss. Following your bliss helps you find fulfillment. It is the force that compels you to seek your purpose, that is, your reason for being.

Why is exploring Spiritual DNA important?

Your spiritual DNA drives you. The more you understand what drives you, the greater your grasp of your special role in the history of consciousness. Your spiritual DNA is a vast living library of information about who you are, including where you’ve been and the impact you’ve had on others and your own evolution.

When you become aware that you carry within you, via your spiritual DNA, the answers to your questions, you become aware that your life has a specific design and purpose. Your soul intentions are encoded in your spiritual DNA.

Spiritual DNA does not have to be directly inherited.

Spiritual DNA is not solely inherited through your Soul’s genome. We may choose to associate with groups that are aligned with specific teachings and perspectives. Thus, spiritual DNA can be absorbed through immersion in other cultures. We also transmit spiritual DNA to others when we educate, teach, and mentor them. Just as the biological components of genes are passed from body to body, understandings received through mentoring and group experiences can become encoded into spiritual DNA.

The consequences of accessing your Spiritual DNA.

It can be terrifying to realize that we have the power to create our lives. This power is encoded in us via our DNA. Caroline Myss says that every human being is terrified of becoming empowered. We fear this, she says, not because we fear success, but because in becoming more conscious of who we are, we will have to take responsibility for what we create. We will see more clearly what we are here to do, and realize that we can no longer hide our yearnings or pull the blinds down and say that what is happening outside is not our problem.

When you accept who you are and accept that it is you who manages your life, you will also be able to identify the agenda for your life.  You will know what motivates you to get out of bed. When you become empowered, your relationship to life changes. You are now the one calling the shots.

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HOW MUCH IS YOUR SOUL WORTH?

This conversation is a continuation of a previous discussion titled Are You Living Life Too Small?. In that essay, I challenged the notion that living a “small” life is indicative of not living your purpose. In this reflection, I address the confusion that a number of us are feeling about the connection between the amount of money we earn or have and how that is often held as a mirror of our value.

All around there is an overwhelming cacophony of voices challenging us, almost accusingly, that we may be living small lives. These voices are most recently found in the superabundance of coaches and mentors to coaches. Their question, “Are you living your life too small?” seems to declare that if we are living a small life we are not living our purpose. We are, they say, born to express our greatness. The obvious implication is that if a life is small, then we are not being all we can be. It is the life of “greatness” that we should pursue and that is worth living. But what if you don’t have the desire to pursue greatness? Is it possible that a “small life” can be capable of giving expression to its dharma and expressing its greatness in that way? And how does a person measure whether or not they are living their life in just the right size? To begin to answer this, it is helpful to look at what living one’s greatness might really mean.

Is it about living an exalted life, that is, one where you are famous and glamorous and impressive and influential and make lots of money? Or could it be about what your life looks like when you authentically follow your bliss?

Living your greatness may mean that you live a celebrity-style life. It may mean that you share your gifts in a very public arena. It may also mean that you share your gifts in smaller, simpler, quieter and less visible ways. Maybe you do your best work as an anonymous guardian angel. Being human, we have a tendency to be literal in how we evaluate acts of benevolence, measuring their greatness directly in proportion to their size. But consider how grateful we are when we are offered a glass of water when we are thirsty, or a piece of fruit when we are hungry. Think of the deep nurturing we experience when we are listened to and seen for who we are. Reflect on how important it was for you to be cared for as a child, or when you were sick. Reflect on the fullness you feel when you nourish the grieving and hungry.

Could living your greatness be about carrying out your soul intentions, in other words, your soul’s purpose?

Everyone Has a Unique Purpose
Each person has a unique purpose that is encoded within them. Bear in mind that if what we do does not come from the heart we can get hooked by our negative ego, who wants plenty of worldly recognition. As you know, purpose is not limited to what we do; purpose is also about being, about presence, and reflecting your light. We come in with different agendas – some agendas are large, and some are small. We will not have exalted agendas in every life. Some lives are meant to be quieter; some lives are lives of rest. Our work is to give our gifts to those who need them. Our specific gifts are inherent to our soul’s purpose for the life. Whatever our gifts, they will always improve another’s condition or situation. Living our lives in just the right size comes with the appropriate giving of our gifts. Spirit will take care of the size of the venue or arena in which you are to express and contribute your unique gifts.

Be the person that you were meant to be. You do this by paying attention to the desires of your heart. These desires hold the clue to your soul intentions. Fulfillment comes when you create from your heart. You will know your purpose when you experience a deep sense of personal fulfillment; you will know, from your sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, that this is what is right for you. Your soul intentions are not about a career; they are not about making lots of money or being famous. Your purpose is something you do whether you get paid for it or not. Your soul’s need to carry out its intentions is the motivation.

Your Soul Purpose is your True Calling
Your soul purpose is your true calling, and when you are aligned with that calling, you will find the level for its appropriate or natural expression. It’s mythical thinking that you can find your soul purpose by listening to other people’s ideas or opinions about what that should look like! Be wary of claims and suggestions that the VALUE of your soul’s work is directly tied to the amount of money you make.

Your Soul Has its Own Signature
Every thing has its own rhythm, and moves and breathes according to its own nature. Every thing contains its own unique spiritual signature. You are unique. You come from the Tao; you are a unique aspect of the Tao. Now, what would you like to do as Tao? Do you want to rest? Do you want to sit in the garden? Do you want to make soup? Do you want to provide a home for a shelter dog or cat? Do you want to explore the mysteries of the quantum field? What do you, as the Tao, need to create in order to express your unique “greatness?”

You’re here to manifest your unique spiritual signature, whatever that is, whatever it looks like. To believe that you first have to be great or “live your greatness” before you can express your uniqueness can be confusing and misleading – not to mention – can ultimately stop you dead in your tracks. Forget about being “great;” focus instead on getting in touch with your unique spiritual signature, and then on expressing that. When you are expressing your unique piece of the Tao, your life will be a beautiful reflection of who you are, and you will be living who you came here to be, and doing what you came here to do, and the “size” of that expression will be in sync with your soul’s intentions. That size could well change over time, but to attempt to create a size based on pressure from gurus who tell you that you are living your life too small, that living your soul purpose is directly tied to your income, and that the size of your income is a direct reflection of whether or not you’re living your purpose, is to completely ignore your own soul and to buy into a false understanding of what it means to live your greatness.

Assigning Value to a Soul
The notion that the size of your income is a direct reflection of being true to your soul intentions is based on assigning a VALUE to SOUL. Let’s go ahead and do that. What is the dollar amount your soul is worth when it is fully expressing? Is it $50 an hour? $450 an hour? Is it 400K a year? 5 million? Since we are pieces of God’s own Soul, perhaps it would help to consider the value of God’s handiwork. What is God’s value? How much is s/he worth? If God were to demand an annual salary for maintaining and sustaining the Universe, what would that come to? What amount should be awarded to God for having created the Universe? And since God has been working for an eternity, what is s/he retroactively owed, including interest and those well-deserved bonuses?

It’s impossible to answer these questions. We can see how ridiculous it is to try to assign value to your your soul or its purpose. On the other hand, I believe that we can, with complete conviction, state that when we’re lined up with our soul intentions, we are as powerful as God. Because God is in all of us, we are all uniquely qualified to express he/r purpose. How we give expression to God-in-us is inevitably sacred and holy. How can we judge the value of what is sacred and holy? Acts of service to others are acts of service to God. And if these are all worthy before God, how do we begin to define what a life of greatness looks like?

Maybe your soul purpose is to make money, or maybe your soul purpose will have the outcome of making money, but don’t assume that making a buck is the soul’s primary purpose for being in a physical vehicle. What is most important is that you create a life that satisfies your soul and provides you with a sense of genuine accomplishment and makes you happy. That life may be quiet and obscure or in front of thousands, or even, millions. The goal is to allow your soul to step forth and express its uniqueness. That uniqueness includes the style, manner, and size with which it expresses. Soul intentions are not tied to the material world, though they will inevitably express inside of it. The soul is not about hierarchy or ego, or competition. The soul is about sharing, about giving and receiving. It is about coming from love and being fully present in love.

Be Present to the Moment
Focus on being present in the moment – to yourself, to your guides and Higher Self, to those around you, and to the Earth and all her inhabitants. When you are present, you are in tune with all that is, and can far more readily act in alignment with your dharma and be available to respond to the needs of the moment. When you are fully present, connected with your Higher Self, and consciously following your guidance, you are being true to your soul’s purpose. Deep satisfaction comes from the benefit to others of the natural flow of your gifts. When you are in flow, you can see your purpose in action. When you are expressing your soul, you have found your true identity and there is no longer any reason to compare yourself to others or to pursue activities that do not fulfill you. At this point, you are present to your life and fully engaged, and your very presence uplifts others simply because you are being yourself.

Follow your true nature to find out what size life is right for you. Congruency is attained when who you are, what you say, and what you do are in alignment. When you are aligned in thought, word, and deed you have mastered how you direct your energy. When you have mastered how you direct your energy, you are able to fully manifest who you are in the world. You are powerful.


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Copyright © 2012-Current | Gloria Constantin | All Rights Reserved |

ARE YOU LIVING LIFE TOO SMALL?

These days I hear a great deal about living life too small. I have come across it again and again, mostly from the plethora of coaches and mentors for those seeking to find their purpose. The question, “Are you living your life too small?” has impressed me at times as almost accusatory, as if we may not be doing everything we can to be the best we can be, and perhaps even hints that if we are living a small life we are not living our purpose. The not-so-embedded implication is that if a life is small, then it has lesser value than a life that is big and attention-getting. It might also be implied that you are lazy or lack drive and focus. If we accept as a truth that life can be lived too small then we must find ways to make life bigger!

We live in a culture that values, with perhaps the exception of body size, more and bigger over lesser and smaller. Stronger and flashier is definitely better. Power over many is regarded highly, and revered – as well as – feared. Be that as it may, the word on the street is if you’re not making a six figure income from your God-given talents, then you may not be living your life purpose, and you’re likely living life too small.

A life lived small is conventionally characterized by its lack of notable achievement. A small life may (or may not) be dazzlingly creative or well-funded, and the thinking is that it probably doesn’t contribute much to the advancement of the person or society – because – well, it’s small. A big life is pretty much identified via status, visibility, ample financial resources and a significant following. It requires focus, drive, and continual marketing. While it may not be exactly restful, I’ve been told that living your life in this dynamic state is exciting and exhilarating. There will definitely be challenges along the way – issues of self-doubt will come up and those nagging false beliefs that you aren’t worthy — but if you can stay the course despite the challenges of seeking your greatness, then go for it.

On the other hand, you may not have any desire to pursue greatness. Then what? A question that comes to mind for me is – despite its bad press – is a small life nevertheless capable of giving expression to its dharma? And how does a person measure whether or not they are living their life in just the right size?

Perhaps the answer is found in the identification of your soul intentions. I believe that your yearnings assist with identifying your soul intentions. Some examples of yearnings include: a yearning for strength, a yearning for love, a yearning for beauty, a yearning for achievement, a yearning for creativity, a yearning for adventure, a yearning for structure, a yearning to fit in, a yearning to be different, a yearning to be of service, among so many other yearnings.

Your yearnings are very useful pieces of information. It’s important to know what will give you emotional satisfaction. If you want to be happy, you’ve got to tune into your yearnings and follow them. I believe that if you follow your yearnings and also allow for their expression, they will, because they demand a certain kind of focus and experience, lead directly to your appropriate way of being (or expressing) in the world. In fact, whether or not you are conscious that you carry an internal agenda for your life, you will connect more and more to your soul intentions as an inevitable act of following your yearnings (or bliss).

If you follow your yearnings, then you may find yourself shaping a right-sized life in sync with your soul intentions. When you follow your authentic yearnings, the shape and size of your life will gradually come into congruence with your soul intentions. The size of your life is completely unique to you and will be found by following your heart; in each moment act on what calls to you. As you consistently do what feels right, you will find that you are living out your soul intentions or your life purpose – in all its appropriate dimensions, and in all its greatness.

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THE LIVES OF GOOD AND BEAUTIFUL SOULS

beautiful souls
The lives of good and beautiful souls, that is, those who strive daily for authenticity, accountability and integrity, are nevertheless peppered with disappointment and loss. To have a deeply developed capacity to integrate a broad spectrum of experience does not mean, however, that we won’t feel tremendous pain when our good intentions and open hearts are met with scathing and ridicule. But because we understand that all is not as it seems, and that we are always inside of the much larger context of our higher selves, our resources are great.

Though this is a plane of illusion, we know that the illusion has impact, and that its power is in its ability to create separation between persons, tribes, and nations. Its tools are the tools of the false ego and its false beliefs which would have bow down before the hierarchies of better than, smarter than, more beautiful than, richer than, and therefore, more deserving than, those who are “lesser” in these and other categories. Once we give our allegiance to separation, we are forced into operating from the belief that there is only so much of – you name it – to go around. Therefore, we cannot ever truly let our guard down. We cannot ever truly trust in life. Coming from a place of scarcity, it will be difficult to see that we have a purpose for being here, and a unique path to follow. The most debilitating separation that illusion creates is its capacity to separate us from our own souls.

Despite the pain that living life with an open heart can often engender, we have no choice if we are to actively remain on a consciously evolving path, fully expressing who we are as embodied souls. We do not want to live from a place of limitation, believing that we are only our bodies, our relationships, or our current life situation. There is much terror in holding a lens that equates what seems to be to what is, and so we can have compassion for those who cannot see beyond it. It has been said that when we reach the end of our mind’s capacity to strategize our way out of a challenge, this is a prime opportunity to remember innocent curiosity and expect miracles. From nothing, everything comes.

To take radical responsibility for our own continuing transformation and healing, we must have compassion for those who choose to act from the weakest parts of themselves, and for the pain they cause by doing so. We must have compassion for those who are perpetually stuck in dynamics which obstruct their ability to receive. As you know, we can only take responsibility for our own emotional responses and physical actions; there is nothing we can do to convince a closed heart to accept our desire for right relationship. There is nothing we can do about the choices other people make, but surrendering to the highest good will make us more spiritually powerful. Continue to honor who you are and why you are here so that all the special light you carry radiates love, joy, and compassion. These are the lives of good and beautiful souls.


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Copyright © 2011-Current | Gloria Constantin | All Rights Reserved

IMMIGRANT SOULS

Each of us began our immigration from reaches unknown, and places only vaguely remembered at best. Although we may not remember the specifics of our origins, those beginnings nevertheless follow us in our dreams and in our imagination, sometimes haunting us in the way of a forgotten melody, sometimes spurring us to reach the tantalizing wilds on the other side of the horizon.

Just as the pulse of our first heartbeat continues to thrum its way through each of our incarnations, our beginnings are never separate from us. That long-ago first coming-into-consciousness propelled us unerringly forward into exploration of myriad unknowns – beautiful and ugly, ecstatic and painful – all of which have seen to it that we will ultimately give a shape and a name to our souls.

What’s the next step? Where do we go from here, and who do we need to be in order to get there?

These questions are a constant for me – they have no end; only beginnings. As soon as I’ve rounded the corner of what was once teasingly distant and mysterious, the questions return afresh. Irrespective of what I’ve uncovered and resolved to conquer, there will always be unknown territory to explore – infinite, ever-revolving facets of self, soul, and consciousness. The universe is infinitely available and willing to share its secrets and insights as long as I am willing to take the journey – despite the terrors that are inherent to it. And the truth is, I won’t have all the equipment I need at the outset – because I can’t know what’s ahead. It is only in experiencing the terrors of the unknown that I can find and develop the resources to face them down. I did, after all, show up with the inbuilt capacity of infinite possibility.

The blueprint for our lives is not set in stone, and we are encouraged to re-create our irrepressible divinity as we go. This is your most basic birthright and talent: the capacity to evolve and adapt as you wish, and as you need.


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Copyright © 2011-Current | Gloria Constantin | All Rights Reserved

BEING WITH WHAT IS

Will the weather ever change?
Will the weather ever change?

How we recover from disappointment, shock, and loss has everything to do with the meaning we make from those experiences. If we believe that we are powerless, that we are victims and that life is against us, we will recover slowly, or not at all. If we believe that our choices for personal and professional happiness have come and gone and that we have nothing to look forward to, we will recover slowly, or not at all.  We may eventually get out of bed but there is a world of difference between resignation and a life that is filled with the joy that comes from having something to look forward to.

How do you go from resignation to passion? You have to have something to live for. You have to believe that there is something worth living for. You must be drawn by a vision that expresses your highest calling. You believe that you are the creator of your life and that the field of life itself is personally seeking your partnership for co-creative endeavors that need your assistance to manifest.

But, you say, I don’t have anything to live for. I don’t have anything to look forward to. I’ve explored my interests and taken them as far as I can, given current circumstances and resources. I’ve looked around, and I really don’t see anything that compelling anymore. Been there, done that. All right, then. Now it’s time to take a new approach. But first you need to find your power so that you can revive your passion.

Let us begin here: from where you sit, what would you say you have too much of? What do you have too little of? What would you enjoy having more of? What would you like to have less of, or be rid of altogether?

What skills and capacities do you need to cultivate in order to have more of what you desire? What disciplines do you need to support those skills and capaciies?

Answering these questions will help you. As you look more closely at what you need to let go of and what you need to bring in, you will see what it is that disempowers you and what empowers you. As you become more empowered, you will also feel passion. You will feel  your passion compel you to embrace your life. Whatever your passion, it will lead you back to yourself. When you have passion, you can connect to the creative impulse  that is bursting to express through you. You have now found your fire, your desire, and your power.

Now, it is possible that you no longer have much interest in pursuing anything. Your fire burned out long ago. As you say, you’ve been there and done that, meaning you believe you have made the effort to explore your appropriate path and then applied your resources to it. If the results were less than stellar, then it is likely you have given up and now spend most of your time in resignation and inertia. And while you manage to pay the rent and feed yourself and your pets, there is not much about your life that is exciting.

So how do you make the leap from a lack of desire to active participation? Letting go of the paths not taken and the roads not fully traveled, begin here: live each day as if it were your calling. Without excessive attention to detail and over-thinking, choose those activities that seem the most right or important. And instead of demanding immediate results, revel in the quietly unfolding intrigue of each moment. Take small steps, one at a time. There is no need to offer up arguments or resistance; simply do each step as an improv. You do not need to know the next step or the next action. By responding to the choices that call to you, to those impulses that seek expression, by degrees both subtle and sudden, your life plan and purpose will reveal itself.

By listening to the call of your intuitive knowing, you will become more adept at discerning the next right action. You do not need to wait for inspiration per se. Simply take actions that reflect best what you know to be true for yourself, and you will again be on course as you remember your passion, which will re-connect you to your path.


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Copyright © 2011-Current | Gloria Constantin | All Rights Reserved

 

HOW TO NAVIGATE THE PAIN OF DEEP DISAPPOINTMENT, LOSS, AND BETRAYAL

lonely shore

No matter how much we live our lives with integrity, we are going to take hits. No matter how self-actualized we are, and how many tools we have to get us back to center, we still need to slog through pain from time to time. It’s part of life here. We can’t avoid it. So I’ve put together a process for navigating pain. I hope you find it helpful.

* * * * * * *

While we understand that our access to power and transformation comes from truly loving ourselves and having healthy boundaries, taking a stand for our right to exist and to co-create with all of life will not in and of itself eliminate life’s painful experiences, or quickly sweep away the pain that we must then process, as a result. Here are some suggestions for getting through the intense emotional pain that will, from time to time, invite itself into our lives for an often undetermined stay:

Stand before the pain; see it and feel it without resistance and create a container that is deeper and wider than the pain itself so that you encompass it. From here, embrace it, pulling it deeply into yourself. Allow yourself to fully experience the pain.

Acknowledge the pain as an entity separate from yourself which also has a vital, energetic existence with its own purpose and its own evolutionary process.

Do not judge the pain; have compassion for it, if you can. If you can, express love to it.

Do not judge yourself for having the experience of deep, and seemingly endless, pain.

Understand that pain has a purpose higher than itself, and than your self.

Expect a breakthrough of insights as a result of allowing intimacy with the pain.

Believe that Divine Grace is a big enough container to hold all of you and your pain.

Open to the creative possibilities that can be generated from deep disappointment.

Believe that life is on your side; that you are loved by all of creation; from here, begin to gently anchor yourself into a sense of a bright and happy future.

You are encouraged

  • to develop a self big enough to contain the pain; try stretching your personal energy body (field) to the parameters of the room you’re in, and even outside into the world as much as you are comfortable. Your field will stretch as far as you command it to. There are no limits here.
  • a profound connection to the Source Mother/Father/God that birthed you; you can begin with prayer. Talk to God/ Tao/ Highest Source. Open the line of communication with audible conversation. This is easier than quieting the mind.
  • a sense of your own Divinity.
  • a sense of how expansive and big you really are inside the context of your past, present and future.
  • a deeper connection to all of life.
  • your unique place in the web of life.
  • a deepening sense of the fragility, tenderness, and profound beauty of life.
  • a connection to the remarkable capacity of life to remake itself, and to transform any experience into something more/ higher.
  • a capacity to see pain as the spice among the many ingredients of which the delicious soup of your life is made.
  • your capacity to see the fruits that can be harvested from the pain.
  • the skills and capacities that will keep your life aligned with your North Star (that is, your highest, overarching intention for love and service).
  • the capacity to be still, and to be silent.

* * * * * * *

It is also important to talk to your trusted friends. They see you and love you, and they will witness your pain with you.

You might consider engaging a professional counselor, therapist or coach.

Know that devas, elementals, and spirit guides are available to you; they are energy masters and can transmute energy. Give them permission to assist your transmutation with their particular expertise. You can talk out loud to them, letting them know you appreciate them. Tell them of your troubles, and ask them to help you, using their unique resources. From here, listen to your intuition, and watch for signs and messages. These come from everywhere, and from unexpected sources.

Soul retrieval can return those pieces of you that have fragmented off or been stolen. If you do not know how to journey, a Shaman can do this for you. In fact, I recommend this.

Energy work (chi gong, Reiki, massage, etc.) can break the stagnation of stuck energy; movement and flow will restore happiness.

Focus on creating happy experiences – spending time with those who see you and love you; doing things that bring you joy, such as your personal forms of creative expression, your fun activities, and your service to others.

Repeat this healing HO’OPONOPONO mantra:

I’m sorry, [your name]
Please forgive me
Thank you
I love you

AND

I’m sorry, [the name of another person, others, or situation]
Please forgive me
Thank you
I love you


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