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IMMIGRANT SOULS

Each of us began our immigration from reaches unknown, and places only vaguely remembered at best. Although we may not remember the specifics of our origins, those beginnings nevertheless follow us in our dreams and in our imagination, sometimes haunting us in the way of a forgotten melody, sometimes spurring us to reach the tantalizing wilds on the other side of the horizon.

Just as the pulse of our first heartbeat continues to thrum its way through each of our incarnations, our beginnings are never separate from us. That long-ago first coming-into-consciousness propelled us unerringly forward into exploration of myriad unknowns – beautiful and ugly, ecstatic and painful – all of which have seen to it that we will ultimately give a shape and a name to our souls.

What’s the next step? Where do we go from here, and who do we need to be in order to get there?

These questions are a constant for me – they have no end; only beginnings. As soon as I’ve rounded the corner of what was once teasingly distant and mysterious, the questions return afresh. Irrespective of what I’ve uncovered and resolved to conquer, there will always be unknown territory to explore – infinite, ever-revolving facets of self, soul, and consciousness. The universe is infinitely available and willing to share its secrets and insights as long as I am willing to take the journey – despite the terrors that are inherent to it. And the truth is, I won’t have all the equipment I need at the outset – because I can’t know what’s ahead. It is only in experiencing the terrors of the unknown that I can find and develop the resources to face them down. I did, after all, show up with the inbuilt capacity of infinite possibility.

The blueprint for our lives is not set in stone, and we are encouraged to re-create our irrepressible divinity as we go. This is your most basic birthright and talent: the capacity to evolve and adapt as you wish, and as you need.

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BEING WITH WHAT IS

How we recover from disappointment, shock, and loss has everything to do with the meaning we make from those experiences. If we believe that we are powerless, that we are victims and that life is against us, we will recover slowly, or not at all. If we believe that our choices for personal and professional happiness have come and gone and that we have nothing to look forward to, we will recover slowly, or not at all. We may eventually get out of bed but there is a world of difference between resignation and a life that is filled with the joy that comes from having something to look forward to.

How do you go from resignation to passion? You have to have something to live for. You have to believe that there is something worth living for. You must be drawn by a vision that expresses your highest calling. You believe that you are the creator of your life and that the field of life itself is personally seeking your partnership for co-creative endeavors that need your assistance to manifest.

But, you say, I don’t have anything to live for. I don’t have anything to look forward to. I’ve explored my interests and taken them as far as I can, given current circumstances and resources. I’ve looked around, and I really don’t see anything that compelling anymore. Been there, done that. All right, then. Now it’s time to take a new approach. But first you need to find your power so that you can revive your passion.

Let us begin here: from where you sit, what would you say you have too much of? What do you have too little of? What would you enjoy having more of? What would you like to have less of, or be rid of altogether?

What skills and capacities do you need to cultivate in order to have more of what you desire? What disciplines do you need to support those skills and capaciies?

Answering these questions will help you. As you look more closely at what you need to let go of and what you need to bring in, you will see what it is that disempowers you and what empowers you. As you become more empowered, you will also feel passion. You will feel your passion compel you to embrace your life. Whatever your passion, it will lead you back to yourself. When you have passion, you can connect to the creative impulse that is bursting to express through you. You have now found your fire, your desire, and your power.

Now, it is possible that you no longer have much interest in pursuing anything. Your fire burned out long ago. As you say, you’ve been there and done that, meaning you believe you have made the effort to explore your appropriate path and then applied your resources to it. If the results were less than stellar, then it is likely you have given up and now spend most of your time in resignation and inertia. And while you manage to pay the rent and feed yourself and your pets, there is not much about your life that is exciting.

So how do you make the leap from a lack of desire to active participation? Letting go of the paths not taken and the roads not fully traveled, begin here: live each day as if it were your calling. Without excessive attention to detail and over-thinking, choose those activities that seem the most right or important. And instead of demanding immediate results, revel in the quietly unfolding intrigue of each moment. Take small steps, one at a time. There is no need to offer up arguments or resistance; simply do each step as an improv. You do not need to know the next step or the next action. By responding to the choices that call to you, to those impulses that seek expression, by degrees both subtle and sudden, your life plan and purpose will reveal itself.

By listening to the call of your intuitive knowing, you will become more adept at discerning the next right action. You do not need to wait for inspiration per se. Simply take actions that reflect best what you know to be true for yourself, and you will again be on course as you remember your passion, which will re-connect you to your path.

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NO LONGER ON THE PERIPHERY

It seemed I dozed on the periphery for a long time, observing the coming and going of weather, of the seasonal hum of insects and flowers and the blooming and withering of all things; of all things, that is, that I could see and had the capacity to comprehend.

There was time when I believed that I had very little say about my life. There was a time when I believed I had no authority to confront not just the challenges, but the horrific experiences I endured as a child. As a child I believed that’s just the way things were; that’s just how life is. Later, as the daughter of impoverished immigrants who did not speak English as their first language, I continued to find numerous reasons to support my impression that I was a victim of circumstances, and that my lot in life was destined to be one of severe limitation. As children we are dependent; we have not come into ourselves, and we do not possess the same powers of self-awareness, intellect, and ferocity that we do as adults, so it is easy to make meaning about what life is, and to hold on to that meaning because it made so much sense at the time. I did, however, come in with an insatiable curiosity to understand both etiology and causation, and it was this deep need to KNOW how everything comes together that was compelling enough to keep me going where I might have otherwise given up. This is not to say that I do not, from time to time, retreat. Inevitably, something always kicks my ass and forces me to get up off the ground.

I was compelled to engage. After all, I had to eat to live. I had to dress for warmth and protection. I had to go to school and interact (to some greater or lesser extent) with the other children. At night, I entered the realm of dreams and created relationships and strange connections with the inhabitants of other worlds and dimensions. Bit by bit, all my experiences, those from the vantage of quiet observation and those from intentional participation, merged and integrated and offered me perspective, a handle I could grab, a kind of anchor I could attach myself to. By simply being – whether here or in other less tangible locations – I was led inevitably to carve out a consciousness unique to me.

And that unique perspective, that consciousness, this idiosyncratic way I have of perceiving and holding experience and then of communicating it back, is what led me to exactly where I am. Because I chose to stay alert and aware – kicking and screaming some of the time to be sure – no moment I spent sleeping or awake has been wasted. The sum cumulative of all I have gathered, and all that has blasted itself against me, is what I bring to this moment. It is the same for all of us. These are the things that give us shape and form and that bring us to who we are.

Over time I awoke to the realization that I am an integral, inseparable part of All That Is, and that the All That Is is the most powerful and dignified, the most ultimately infinitely creative and loving force that holds all possibility, and even if I possess just one drop of that power, just one morpheme of that capacity, nothing can stop me from becoming. For I am Tao’s pioneer, Its very own reconnaissance agent.

And so how can I not see myself as the Source of my experience? The more I accept full responsibility for being the creator of my own life, the more I download my true inheritance. The more I can flow with what is, with what happens, not just deflecting blows but dancing with them, the more I can step into my capacity to create my life. Even though there are many events that truly appear to be the result of other people’s choices, it is most empowering to be willing to be wholeheartedly accountable for all of it. By accepting unconditional responsibility for everything that has ever happened to us, we become the master of our own lives.

Now it is time to step into who I am, to open to fully embracing the next level of beingness that life wishes to express through me, and to take it on with everything I’ve got. I have only a glimmer of what I am about to embark on, but I am filled with desire to pursue this journey, for I know that in this process, all of who I came here to be will have the opportunity to be unleashed. Welcome the unprecedented for my life.

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THE ZONE OF INCARNATION

At the still point of the turning world we are still,
spinning.

Shooting threads of light, finer than rainbow gossamer,
diaphanous and delicate beyond measure,
yet stronger than this life we know–
by far.
And these threads are a matrix of interwoven endless
tapestries

that breathe and move and dance,

twining themselves through universes beyond our imaginings.

But there is so much more that we cannot begin to grasp.
There are worlds beyond our knowing.

There are mysteries
beyond our ability to experience.

And if we were to experience those mysteries,
we could not,
as we currently are,
grasp them.

It is important to live in the here and now,
in the moment.

For it is in the moment that infinity speaks,
and we hear our own god voices.

In the cracks and interstices of no past, no present,
and no future,

we come to know ourselves.

Coming into the zone of time, we then forget.

We are defined, described, prescribed and re-scribed as we
make our way through the fragile form of living days.

We breathe the dust.
We are the earth.

We lose our trust in things eternal
mesmerized into believing
this is what we are,
this is all that is.

Even so –
we are shaped and formed into delicate
dimensional existence. And then,
waves and vectors sweep our way, casting us out, drawing us in.

Probabilities come and go.

The pending sometimes never arrives.

We are ordered from chaos,
made up in part of
numerology,
psychology,
astrology,
human design,
biology,
design,
soul age,
essence role,
overleaves,
and so on,
and so on.

Each of these bring us to our lessons; they give us our unique
perspectives and our talents.

These energies humble us, shake us up, and wake us up.
We can remember who we are because of them.

But: WE ARE NOT THEM.

They are the props in our personal play.
They cast us in a special role;
one we’ve longed to play, one we’ve died again and again to play,
so that we could re-unite with our ultimate selves.

But they are only our lessons, our path for the now, and our glory for
and through

the Zone of Incarnation.

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INDELIBLE MARKERS

The prevailing cultural paradigm — the one that says you’re basically worthless unless you look like this and have status, money, and power, awards, achievements, accolades, acknowledgment, and recognition — is harsh for many of us.

Let us remember that this is a place, of limitation. L I M I T A T I O N. Because things are palpable here, and because actions have consequences, and choice always has results, the tendency for consciousness-in-a-body is to seek the most supportive ways of receiving positive recognition, safety, and security.

Being physical can be wonderful if our physical needs are met. When we have money, education, a great place to live, a great job, satisfying relationships, life is good. It is when our needs are NOT met that we feel undeserving and worthless, and we wonder why it is that we do not have the support that ensures we will have meaningful and important lives. And yet, when circumstances give us pause, we may discover the potential for inner wealth.

Some say the world is incontrovertibly made up of winners and losers. And if you’re a loser, well…make better choices next time, honey. And if you want to get right down to it, why did you pick that weak body? Did you think you’d get more sympathy that way, or maybe just get out of some of the really hard work the rest of us have had to put in to get where we are…what WERE you thinking? Well, good luck to you. Or better luck next time, but I have a life to live, a yacht to sail, and some VIPs to meet for drinks. Well, have a good one. Get some beauty rest or treatments. Or something!

Wait a minute. Are you saying that I have to earn my worthiness or right to be here, and that the only way to do this is to go to the best schools, wear the best clothes, have an Ivy League degree, and have abundant cash flow? Are you saying that if I don’t have the right stuff that I might as well slide under a rock, curl up in a ball, and wait for death to take me?

If this is the truth that many live with, then perhaps that is their personal truth. But it is not mine. I have a different take on things. The life I have lived veers from the mainstream because my life task and soul agenda have led me on an exploration of a lesser traveled path. I am not alone in this.

Everyone has limitations. Limitations differ, and they can differ so vastly as to create confusion and cause angst-driven issues of viability, survivability, and worthiness so that we are compelled to stand up or fall down.

What is apparent is not necessarily what is. What is – is your experience of life. How you live it, what you make of it. THIS IS YOUR LIFE. How you understand the purpose of your life and the actions you take to express that will be driven by the gifts, insights, and meanings that you make for yourself.

While we are connected, we are also diverse. We are none of us the same. We are deeply unique and individual, and what we have to offer is unique.

Not everyone came here to get an MBA or PhD or become an Olympic athlete. Not everyone came here to invest in real estate or to facilitate corporate mergers or lead tours in Europe. Not everyone can sing opera. Not everyone is an artist. Not everyone expresses fluently. Not everyone gets, or seeks, attention. Some of us are gardeners. Some of us save cats. Some of us just live quiet lives and lend a hand when we can. But all of us are invited — no, compelled — to engage the journey of our soul. Each soul is indelible and each life matters. Each one leaves markers from their journey that instruct and inform others where the pitfalls and bridges are found.

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HOW CAN I FIND MY SOUL’S PURPOSE?

I lived with this question for years, but I didn’t know I was asking it. Later, in my studies of transformational tools and principles, I was told that “Something unique wants to express itself through you – something that only you can give birth to.” I thought this was, at best, a nice sentiment. It was very egalitarian as it left no one out, and it even made everyone special. But I had also heard the phrase often enough, expressed somewhat less loftily: You are special. There is no one like you. By the time I heard it again I was already seriously inured to it and perhaps even somewhat cynical. Of course, we’re unique; who isn’t? And that’s where, for me, the whole concept of personal uniqueness distilled itself to not having any significant meaning.

So, for quite a while, I succumbed to the enervating perception that uniqueness in and of itself is not unique. Since we are all uniquely distinguished from each other, what’s the big deal? You’re tall; I’m short. You’re muscular; I lack definition. You have red hair; I have black hair. Your eyes are green, and mine are brown. You excel in tennis, but I can sing. You’re great at math and I write more clearly than you. What’s to get excited about? Now, if you’re handy, I’m feeling some excitement. But I digress.

At some point it occurred to me that I was looking in the wrong direction, on the wrong concept, and that I was stubbornly myopic. I decided to challenge my habitual perception of uniqueness by changing my stance that uniqueness is a common attribute with no benefits. In a departure from my earlier pronounced state of jadedness, I asked: What exactly is it that is unique to each of us? In no time, a realization asserted itself with incontrovertible clarity: It is our soul’s longing and the agenda contained in that longing that leads us to our purpose. Our specific longings show us the paths we need to take and who we can become. So what makes us unique? What makes us who are we? So what makes us unique? What makes us who are we?

Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV. 4.5 tells us that it is our deep, driving desire.

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.

Here is the beginning of knowing your soul purpose: identifying your deeper truths through your deep desires. Therein lies our uniqueness and our destiny: in our desires. In those things that awaken our passion. What comes of following our desires? Everything. When we base our actions on following our unique desires, we will feel compelled to seek what is correct for us. And what is correct for us also nourishes us. And there is even more to be gained from following our true desires: we will attract what we need so that we can become who we are meant to become. And the best thing of all is, by following our soul’s longing we will inevitably express our soul purpose, and there is no greater fulfillment.

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PRAYER FOR HEALING

Father Mother God, Creator of all beings

Unparalleled Lover from Whom emanates boundless capacity for love,

for eternal care;

from Whom issues all balms to soothe and heal all wounds,

Who has known and suffered through us and with us all wounds that are possible –

that have ever been –

and Who has received these many hurts into His-Her Heart, speaking peace to them

holding them

caressing them

acknowledging them

accepting them

feeling their pain with them

suffering the deepest of nameless agonies with them.

Father Mother God, Creator of all beings, release us to our deeper truths, and to our highest, most majestic expression of all that is good, and right, and beautiful.

In the name of Father Mother God, we pray that all that is wounded is healed, now and forever.

Amen.

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HOW TO NAVIGATE THE PAIN OF DEEP DISAPPOINTMENT, LOSS, AND BETRAYAL

No matter how much we live our lives with integrity, we are going to take hits. No matter how self-actualized we are, and how many tools we have to get us back to center, we still need to slog through pain from time to time. It’s part of life here. We can’t avoid it. So I’ve put together a process for navigating pain. I hope you find it helpful.

* * * * * * *

While we understand that our access to power and transformation comes from truly loving ourselves and having healthy boundaries, taking a stand for our right to exist and to co-create with all of life will not in and of itself eliminate life’s painful experiences, or quickly sweep away the pain that we must then process, as a result. Here are some suggestions for getting through the intense emotional pain that will, from time to time, invite itself into our lives for an often undetermined stay:

• Stand before the pain; see it and feel it without resistance and create a container that is deeper and wider than the pain itself so that you encompass it. From here, embrace it, pulling it deeply into yourself. Allow yourself to fully experience the pain.

• Acknowledge the pain as an entity separate from yourself which also has a vital, energetic existence with its own purpose and its own evolutionary process.

• Do not judge the pain; have compassion for it, if you can. If you can, express love to it.

• Do not judge yourself for having the experience of deep, and seemingly endless, pain.

• Understand that pain has a purpose higher than itself, and than your self.

• Expect a breakthrough of insights as a result of allowing intimacy with the pain.

• Believe that Divine Grace is a big enough container to hold all of you and your pain.

• Open to the creative possibilities that can be generated from deep disappointment.

• Believe that life is on your side; that you are loved by all of creation; from here, begin to gently anchor yourself into a sense of a bright and happy future.

You are encouraged

to develop a self big enough to contain the pain; try stretching your personal energy body (field) to the parameters of the room you’re in, and even outside into the world as much as you are comfortable. Your field will stretch as far as you command it to. There are no limits here.
a profound connection to the Source Mother/Father/God that birthed you; you can begin with prayer. Talk to God/ Tao/ Highest Source. Open the line of communication with audible conversation. This is easier than quieting the mind.
a sense of your own Divinity.
a sense of how expansive and big you really are inside the context of your past, present and future.
a deeper connection to all of life.
your unique place in the web of life.
a deepening sense of the fragility, tenderness, and profound beauty of life.
a connection to the remarkable capacity of life to remake itself, and to transform any experience into something more/ higher.
a capacity to see pain as the spice among the many ingredients of which the delicious soup of your life is made.
your capacity to see the fruits that can be harvested from the pain.
the skills and capacities that will keep your life aligned with your North Star (that is, your highest, overarching intention for love and service).
the capacity to be still, and to be silent.

* * * * * * *

It is also important to talk to your trusted friends. They see you and love you, and they will witness your pain with you.

You might consider engaging a professional counselor, therapist or coach.

Know that devas, elementals, and spirit guides are available to you; they are energy masters and can transmute energy. Give them permission to assist your transmutation with their particular expertise. You can talk out loud to them, letting them know you appreciate them. Tell them of your troubles, and ask them to help you, using their unique resources. From here, listen to your intuition, and watch for signs and messages. These come from everywhere, and from unexpected sources.

Soul retrieval can return those pieces of you that have fragmented off or been stolen. If you do not know how to journey, a Shaman can do this for you. In fact, I recommend this.

Energy work (chi gong, Reiki, massage, etc.) can break the stagnation of stuck energy; movement and flow will restore happiness.

Focus on creating happy experiences – spending time with those who see you and love you; doing things that bring you joy, such as your personal forms of creative expression, your fun activities, and your service to others.

Repeat this healing HO’OPONOPONO mantra:

I’m sorry, [your name] Please forgive me
Thank you
I love you

AND

I’m sorry, [the name of another person, others, or situation] Please forgive me
Thank you
I love you

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